Poor Bastards of Cinema: Us (2019)

After a long delay, I might as well get back to these.

In the Film Us, the strange doubles seem to show up out of nowhere.
While our heroes recover, they see a News Reporter filming a group of them, when...

Yeah, bad idea.  You should probably...

Never mind.

You're dead, random Reporter.

I'm sure the Sound Guy and Camera Guy appreciate you being a dumbass and getting them killed with you.

The lesson: mind your surroundings.  Did Ra's Al Ghul teach you nothing!

Next time, an induction that is *arguably* ineligible.  That said, I decide and dead animals usually make it in.  See you then...

Quick Review: Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

After missing it on the Roadshow Tour (a la Mom & Dad), I discovered it on Amazon Prime.  Was it worth the wait?

Almost 20 years after their last 'solo' adventure, things aren't going well for the pair.  Their plan to sell Pot goes awry.

They get even worse news as Saban Films has bought the Bluntman & Chronic Film Rights.

Amidst the Film joking about how familiar this is, they do have Jason Lee tell them about the Film and not Ben Affleck.

This also includes the subtle Stan Lee Tribute as well.

The pair plan to go to Hollywood, but run into some trouble along the way- naturally.  En route, they learn that Justice (from the last Film) is now a Weatherwoman...and had Jay's kid!

So the pair go off to Hollywood (California and not Florida, in a bit cut like 5x) with the Daughter and her friends, none of whom know the secret.

It is at this point that Film reaches a standstill.  Is it trying to be 'woke' Comedy-Drama or is it a Stoner Comedy with some Drama?  You decide (since he didn't). 

What is the new Film- titled Bluntman V Chronic, naturally- like?  Will they stop it?  Should they stop it?

Fun Side Note: there's a DTV Scooby-Doo Film that does this same thing- only with the Blue Falcon.  Weird, no?

Instead of a big Climax at the Movie Studio, they end up at Not ComicCon.  What final twists and turns will we see?

To find out, watch the Movie.  It's on Prime- as mentioned- but lots of other places too.

This Film is so META that I feel like I have to follow suit.  The Film has a strong enough story, even if it does get bogged down by a few diversions.  For instance, Matt Damon's Cameo as Loki was funny, but had zero impact on the Film's narrative.  Most of the other ones feel more connected.  For instance, the Ben Affleck part has a clear cause-and-effect role in the narrative.  The actual Story, as mentioned, is good.  It definitely sells you as one thing and clearly turns you another away.  All of the things you'd expect from an experienced Writer/Director are on display here.  Weirdly, some pay-offs- like the one about Edibles- were cut (but shown during the Credits).  Obviously, due to situations out of his control, Smith can't get everyone back.  I am surprised, however, that Alanis Morisette is mentioned twice, but not actually shown.  The absence of Randal is odd too, but he did *initially* turn down Clerks III, so that might be related.  Another note- Clerks II is still in-continuity, but we see Rosario Dawson playing a different Character- odd.  The biggest pro and con here is the issue with its tone.  It tries its best to be a fun Stoner Comedy, but also a Road Trip Movie and a Coming of Age Tale for Smith's actual Daughter.  Random extra note- Smith's real Daughter plays Jay's Daughter, while Jason Mewes' actual Daughter playes Ben Affleck's!  At its best, the Film can be fun, but then have emotional breaks to feel deeper than it appears.  At its worst, it has tonal whiplash and then jumps to a Cameo.  All of the Cameos and META gags are fun as a whole, if perhaps over done.  All in all, it worked for a longtime fan like me, but may not sell those who aren't already Smith fans.  One strong point- giving a nice role to David Dastmalchian!

A Film that is definitely funny and dramatic on its own.  That said, like 40% of the humor requires you to know very specific Pop Culture references.

Rare Flix: Fade to Black (1980)

A Film about a Film Buff who goes crazy and kills people?  This sure won't worry my friends and family.  This is Fade to Black, a 1980 Film about, well, what I just said.  It is about one guy who is clearly not well that just keeps getting piled on by life.  To be fair, some of that is his fault, as he's a complete weirdo and creep.  Even so, life seems to treat him like the donkey getting a tail pinned to him 9 times out of 10.  There are some notable Cast Members here including Tim Thomerson (in his pre-Trancers days) and our Lead is most notable for being in the 1990 TV Mini-Series Version of It.  In hindsight, maybe Pennywise was right to pick on him.  Oh and he was in Jake Speed, a Film that apparently only I've ever talked about since it came out in 1986.  Yea?  After the Comic Book version of The Joker hit it big, but before a The-less Joker got critical praise, this tale of a mentally-ill loner who dresses up to kill people was a thing.  It won no Oscars and got 1 Star out of 4 by Leonard Maltin, so I'm guessing the results were different.  To find out, read on...

Our Hero (of sorts) is Eric Binford (Dennis Christopher, who was ironically coming off of a Golden Globe Nomination himself) and he's obsessed with Films.

For the record, I don't watch my Films on 16MM and don't do the Voices, so I'm sane.  Right?

In an unrelated note, Thomerson is here as a Psychologist who keeps hanging around the Police Station (and later hooks up with this Detective).

I'm sure this won't tie together.

Eric falls for an Australian Model-would-be-Actress who looks like Marilyn Monroe.  It is pretty uncanny, even if it is only in the face.

She is somehow not creeped out by him doing an impersonation of The Creature From the Black Lagoon and agrees to see a Film with him.

She forgets though and he is dejected.  Aw.

Driven by his impotent rage, he kills his Aunt- who is actually his Mother- by pushing her down the stairs in her wheelchair just like a Cagney Film.

I guess you can blame Films- at least in part- for that murder.

The middle portion of the Film is him starting grudges with people and then killing them in a strange outfit.

He kills a Hooker- albeit by accident- who was mean to him while dressed up as Dracula.
Later, he dresses up as Hopalong Cassidy and kills a Co-Worker...who is Mickey Rourke.

RIP Mickey's original face.

He kills his old Boss- for rightly firing him for being terrible- by scaring him dressed as The Mummy.

Later still, he kills a Hollywood Producer- whom he randomly meets- dressed as a Gangster when he steals his idea.

After not factoring into the Plot for the entirety of the 2nd Act, Not Marilyn suddenly reappears and meets him as he's disguised as a Photographer.

Of course, his face isn't covered and she met him earlier, so is she playing along?
Oh well, she gets drugged, so I guess it's a moot point.

The Cops show up- after Thomerson does, mind you- and he eventually ends up on top of the famous Chinese Theater.

As an obsessed Cagney fan, he fittingly dies like the Actor did in White Heat.  In case you somehow don't know the famous bit, they play it as a parallel.  Good to know what you think of your audience, Film.

He dies.  The End.

A fairly-bleak, but interesting descent into madness.  The Plot is pretty simple.  I get that I'm supposed to feel bad for Eric here.  Thomerson literally says 'The kid was doomed from the start.'  That said, he's not exactly likable before he starts his killing spree.  He's weird.  He's mean.  Yes, he is picked on and doesn't deserve *everything* he gets.  It's a tricky thing to make a character like this and they don't quite nail it.  Granted- they do a better job than Return to Sleepaway Camp and their bully who is also bullied.  I do think that the situation could have been turned around for him, albeit not completely.  Even if he didn't kill his Mom/Aunt to start this, he wasn't going to be a well-balanced person.  I guess someone has to work for the Theater to deliver their Film Reels, right?  The performance by Christopher is...interesting.  It's all over the place and never quite seems to settle on a style.  In one Scene, he's manic and an asshole.  In another, he's lovelorn.  In another, he's depressed, but angry.  I get that he *could* be Bipolar (or Tripolar), but I don't get that vibe.  It just feels like an issue of an overzealous Actor and a Director who couldn't make up his mind.  There is some creativity in how he enacts his killing spree.  The deaths are varied and he dresses up in outfits ranging from Dracula to a Gangster to The Mummy.  The whole thing is kind of a glorious, endearing mess all around.  As a bonus, you have no doubt which Country made it...

Next up, I'll try to stay a bit lighter and in the '80s.  How much trouble can happen to a couple of Dudes?  Stay tuned...

Bob's Birthday Review: To Be Heroine (2018)

As the World doesn't quite seem to make sense right now, this seems like the perfect thing to talk about.

For Bob's Birthday, I'm covering a strange little Anime called To Be Heroine.  It is *technically* the Sequel Series to one called To Be Hero, but you can pretty much read a simple summary and get the whole thing.  It only connects to like 3 Characters, so no big loss.  The Story of this Show is weird.  I wish I could end right there, but I guess I'll keep going.  The Plot involves the typical Isekai Story- a normal person transported to another World- and our Heroine.  She has to team up with a strange baby man in a world full of them and, on top of that, your clothes turn into Summoned Creatures to battle for you.  It's Anime!  However, there is more to this 7-Part Series than that.  To find out how crazy this actually gets, read on...

Our Heroine- Futaba- is facing her Final Exams and issues with her one friend not taking things seriously enough.  Life is good?

She ends up in another World and ends up in a turf war between two talking babies.  I wish I was kidding.

As it turns out, her clothes can be turned into summoned creatures like Ninjas, Policemen and Electric Cat Monsters.  Rhyme and reason- who needs that stuff?!?

What's confusing at first when watching the Show is that the Intro seems to focus on these kids playing around...that aren't the current age of our Heroine and her friends.

Well, things start to get weird for a different reason as it becomes clear that they actually live in China (meaning i'm watching a Show with Double Subtitles) and it all relates to...an industrial accident?

After the first 3 Episodes, the Isekai stuff is toned down and/or completely removed.  In its place is a tale of corporate espionage, betrayal and a conspiracy right out of a Michael Crichton Novel.

Remember when this Show was about weird baby men?

Futaba remembers...and has no words for this strange tale now.

The connection to To Be Hero comes in the form of this guy, who is possessed by the baby man spirit from the other World...and is also the Father of one of the friends.

Some 'fun jokes' about a creepy old men professing his love to teenage girls- why not, Japan?

Can they uncover the conspiracy and save their Town?  Will the other World stuff pay off?  Will this confusing-ass Show be treated as 'emotional' by User Reviews?

To find out, stream this Show on Crunchyroll.  Just pay for Premium if you don't want to see 42 Ads for a company that makes miniatures for Shows you've never heard of.

 What a bizarre u-turn.  Which Show do you want to be?  Do you want to be the wacky Isekai Adventure of a girl dealing with baby men and summoning creatures?  Do you want to be a slice of life Show about some Teenagers?  Do you want to be a Drama about uncovering a corporate conspiracy?  Do you want to be a Drama about a Character or Characters dealing with Amnesia/Lost Memories?  If you answered 'yes' every time, you're the people behind this Show.  You also don't get how this thing works!  The disparate parts of the Show are interesting and/or fun in their own right.  My problem is that they don't really work well together or make that much sense.  This is the kind of Show that wants you to go 'Oh, that's clever' as you make it through.  "See- we showed the Soda as a gag in the Intro and now it's a Plot Point- praise us!"  No thanks.  The separate aspects of the Show just make for a confusing thing that tries to be silly in one moment, weepy in another and serious in yet another.  In one Episode, a baby man summons a ninja from a cloth.  In another Episode, a woman silently mourns the loss of a child in secret.  How are you the same Show?!?  To be fair, it all ties together at the end...but it still just doesn't work for me.  I'm reminded of a Match I reviewed for Let's Go to the Ring (cheap plug) from a 1999 Show.  It was made up of two very different parts- chaotic brawl and then a tag match- that I didn't like that much.  It was just so much worse when it couldn't just be a 10 minute brawl or a 10 minute Tag Match- it was 5 minutes of each.  On the plus side, this did manage to one-up my own family's motto...

The Show starts out as a weird, whimsical Anime...but turns into Erin Brokovich.  If this Tale was personal to its Author, good for them...I guess.

Quick Review: Fast & Furious Presents Hobbs & Shaw

It is kind of a pretentious title for a Film this stupid, no?  

Since The Rock and Vin Diesel don't get along, we get a spin-off between 2 side-characters.  Why not?

Hobbs is a Federal Agent (which one varies between Films).
Shaw is a Criminal who killed Han (not addressed in the Film).

They have to get along to save the World?  What do you mean they already did this last Film?

Conveniently enough, the only person between a bad guy releasing a bioweapon and salvation is...Shaw's Sister.

So, the World would be screwed if they weren't related?

The Villain- Idris Elba.

He's a man enhanced with lots of technology, which gives him super-strength and a HUD.

So instead of being a robot brain put into a tough, black guy's body like in Universal Soldier: The Return, he's a tough, black guy...with a computer put into his brain?

Can the pair get along to save the World?  

Will we work in a pair of Cameos to do more 'world-building' for future Films?

Can they get enough muscle and gear to take out this walking pile of muscle and gear?

Or will their last stand in (American) Samoa be their, well, last stand?  Oh, and that's no SPOILER, since the Trailers pretty much laid out all 3 Acts of the Film.

To find out how it all ends, watch the Film.  Oh, and angry squint like Statham too.

A pretty silly Film that really thinks that it should be taken seriously.  We are 9 Films into this Series, so NOW is the time to be serious.  Sure!  

What the Film does right is make big Action Scenes with explosions, car crashes and fighting.  It can be a bit of escapist fun to see all of the silliness.  What it does wrong is try to force some sort of family drama into the mix.  

They do this weird thing where they reveal that Hobbs' family has a criminal connection and his turn to the Law separated him from them.  At the same time, they retcon that Shaw was actually *framed* for what got him kicked out of MI-6- this separated him from his Sister.  

Oh, so they're the same now.  No, wait- Hobbs caught bad guys and Shaw killed lots of people, including Han.  

Oh wait- is he not dead now?  I guess we'll find out next year- stupid pandemic! 

This choice is just a weird one, but I guess they just need that Chinese Yuan too much to keep Statham out of these Films.  It is clear that they want to go big places with this Series (since Rock and Diesel won't cooperate), as they introduce a new Big Bad and Side Characters for Sequel Bait.  Assuming things work out, I'll probably be stuck covering these Films for the next Decade- yea?  

In closing, why do my Films Starring Wrestlers all have them riding motorcycles these days?

Considering it is a F&F spin-off, you knew that it would be silly.  When it sticks to that (and not casually retconning its Characters), it can be stupid fun.

8 Crazy Gems Hidden on Disney +

While I'm not one of the people living in isolation (semi or otherwise) during this Pandemic, I am someone who watches alot of Media.

I figure I might as well take my obsessive behavior and spin it into a positive for you.

If you've read all of your Magazines and streamed all of the obvious stuff, here's some things you might not be aware of on the Mouse House's Netflix-killer...

Honorable Mentions: Forgotten Comic Book Story Arc Adaptations like 'Armor Wars' and 'The Phalanx Saga,' The odd Avengers Show where they all had Battle Armor and the trippy Silver Surfer Cartoon.

8. All of Spider-Man Unlimited: This '90s curiosity is a bit overlooked these days.

Following in the foot steps of the classic '90s Spider-Man Cartoon, this one changes everything about the character and surroundings.  It's...odd.

Basically, Spider-Man ends up on another Planet, joins a resistance movement and battles the Symbiotes in a neat-looking, but ultimately unimportant adventure.

7. Spider-Man Leads His Amazing Friends to Battle Modred and Demons: This Show has produced many curious gems, including a battle with Dracula, a Most Dangerous Game and a killer Bee-Man.

In this odd aside, the trio of Spidey, Iceman and Firestar battle Modred (not Mordred, I guess) as he tries to break out of his inter-dimensional prison.  Aiding them is The Black Knight (and his ugly, yellow helmet)- only this one is not accurate to the Comics.

Instead, he's a literally-time-displaced Arthurian Knight who is constantly called- no joke- 'Blackie' by our Heroes.  Seriously.

6. She-Hulk Leads the Super Model Avengers: If you ever wanted to see the drastic tonal change in the UPN Hulk Cartoon, look no further.

In this odd Episode, She-Hulk and Betty (who is built like a super heroine now!) are trapped in a Die Hard, But... situation at a Fashion Show.  With the Hulk indisposed, the duo lead a team of Supermodels- each of whom have some sort of skill like Hacking, Karate, etc.

Throw in constant jokes about The Leader being poor- since he clearly spent MILLIONS on this operation- and you've got a silly Episode that is nothing like how the Show started.

5. The X-Men Take a Backseat to Charles Darwin: Ah, Season 5- you're so weird.

X-Men's final Season is an odd one, since the Animation Studio behind it went bankrupt and in-house Animators took over.  On top of that, some weird asides took place...

Three Episodes away from the end of the Series entirely, we get a whole Episode that is the backstory to Mr. Sinister, alongside Charles Darwin and an ancestor of Xavier.  Sure- why not?!?

4. Spider-Man + Kingpin + Captain America = Electro?!?: The oddest 6 Episodes I can think of as a group.

This Epic Story involves the Kingpin trying to uncover a Nazi Doomsday Weapon and...can we stop right there?  No?  Dammit.

The Story also involves WWII Heroes returning to glory, the Red Skull and Captain America returning from another Dimension (long story), the Insidious Six (since Sinister didn't pass S&P), Spider-Man getting his ass kicked twice per Episode and the debut of...Electro.

Yeah, his Debut was delayed due to James Cameron's failed Spider-Man Film.  Ugh.

3. The Mighty Ducks Battle...Mondo-Man?!?: This may still be a 'My Crazy Youth' in the future- maybe.

So, as a reminder, this Disney Cartoon was about the titular Ducks as actual Alien Duck People on Earth fighting Alien Lizard People.  You know- the usual.

So with that in mind, this one is still crazy.  The bad guys use a device they just happen to have to give a Comic Book-loving geek into Mondo-Man!  He battles the Ducks while tricked by said Aliens in disguise.  It's actually oddly similar to what Megamind does in his Film...

2. A Cap Wolverine Double-Whammy: Two old Soldiers for the price of one.

A very famous Story came out of the '90s that put Wolverine and Captain America together in a 'forgotten' adventure back in the '40s.  That has clearly inspired many Writers since, including the people behind X-Men: The Animated Series (who did one in Season 5) and X-Men: Evolution (who did one in Season 3).

1. The Craziest and Weirdest Paced 'Gargoyles' Trilogy Ever: I love Gargoyles, but it could get pretentious as hell in its best and worst times.

Avalon was a 3-Part Episode which took our Heroes (well, some of them) back to, well, Avalon.  It did so very slowly though...

After the 1st Episode's introductions, we get AN EPISODE LONG FLASHBACK explaining where Side-Characters went after the events of the Pilot Episodes.  Once they were at Avalon, we meet the villain- The Arch-Mage.

To see how he got in this position (he was thought dead), we get AN EPISODE LONG FLASHBACK showing how he created a giant time loop to give himself two artifacts and put things in place.

After that, we get 2 Episodes worth of combat, character introductions and story to wrap it up.  Where did the time go?!?

There are so many more things to discover.  Hell, I just discovered an Anime-looking Avengers Show, so I'll be busy!

Leave a comment and share your discoveries...

Lost in Translation?: The Strange Case of Man & Beast (aka Dr. Jekyl) (AGAIN)

In this time of isolation for many, it is important to find good uses for your time.
For me, that involves playing with old Posters to Films.

As such, I found another version of a Poster for a Film I've already done.  It's different though- honest.

This is another Poster for the official (?) Argentinian Film Version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde...

Simple, but effective stuff.

The split visual is not exactly the most unique or creative way to represent this...but why fix what isn't broken?

The Poster is simple, but it works.  That's all you need, right?

Here's the original...

I did mostly subtle changes, but I did distort the face more.  You know- because of the glass.

Whatever- I don't need to explain my creative process to you!

Quick Review: Pokemon Detective Pikachu (2019)

So I have questions, but they aren't what you think... 

This isn't Pokemon: Detective Pikachu (as in a Pokemon Film about D. Pikachu)?  This isn't Pokemon Detective: Pikachu (like there are other Pokemon Detectives)?  Anyways...

A young man (Justice Smith) returns to his childhood home in the wake of his Father's apparent death.  They won't show Dad's face, since dramatic reveal later.

While collecting his stuff, he finds something unexpected...

This Pikachu can talk- although only he can hear it say real words- and wants to solve Dad's disappearance/possible death...since he was his partner.

You see, in this City, Humans and Pokemon live in harmony.  The only one without a companion is our Lead...until now.

Can they get the information they need from this Pokemon?  Will you tire of this shtick before the Film does?

Oops, we're ending the 2nd Act- time for a new conflict.

Yes, even Films about Pokemon Cities and Ryan Reynolds not swearing aren't immune to this cliche.

Can they unravel the mystery involving Pokemon experimentation and some of them going crazy?

Will the Third Act bring about the biggest twists of all? 
Will they solve the case?
Will the World's Economy recover enough to get a Sequel?

To find out *some* of the answers, watch the Film.  I saw it on HBO, but you know, you do you.

A fun, but sometimes self-serious Film.  Pokemon Detective Pikachu is more or less what you expect.  You get a Buddy Comedy with a 'kid' and a Pokemon.  He still has to be vaguely an Adult, but also look like a Teen...but he still fits the bill. The banter and repartee is pretty fun here, which is especially notable when you consider that one half of the group is CG and probably recorded weeks to months later.  Justice Smith is definitely the least interesting part of the Film though- no offense.  He's not bad, but he just doesn't hold up to Ryan Reynolds' natural charisma.  Someone has to play his part though, so the Film can't really work without him.  The other Actors- including Bill Nighy!- come out of this looking stronger than Smith.  The tricky thing here is that the Film tries to be serious at many point throughout it.  When it wants to be fun and adventurous, it can be quite charming.  When it suddenly introduces Drama, it just feels a bit confusing.  I mean...we're seeing Ryan Reynolds voice a tiny, furry creature that loves coffee- it's not Citizen Kane.  I suppose I should give them kudos for trying to add to the emotional weight of the tale- I just didn't connect with it.  If you loved the Film for this stuff, more power to you.  I had more fun with this than I expected overall though (as someone who never played or really followed Pokemon at all).  It's sure to get a follow-up somehow and I'm curious to see what they might do with it...as long as it doesn't end up looking like the original game graphics...

When it just tries to be fun and light, it works quite well.  When it tries to be dramatic, well, it only gives me a little buzz.