Quick Review: Alita- Battle Angel

After an infamous release and a slow, but surprisingly-successful run, I finally get around to this.  Can I get past those eyes?

In the future, a Scientist finds the core of a rare, long-since-dormant robotic creature...

…which he proceeds to revive and call Alita, after his dead daughter.

Seriously...those eyes are going to be an issue.  I can't be in the minority here, right?

Steel City is her new home and a literal City of Hope floats above them.  Can she (and others) literally reach the land they want to ascend to?

You'd want to go up there too if the City you lived in was full of rejected Rob Liefeld creations from Youngblood/Cyberforce/Cyberstrike.

Can Alita go from nobody to Battle Angel (whatever that is)?  Is the Title a giveaway?

Will she save the day?  Will she become her true self?  Will the Movie end on a cliffhanger that hinges solely upon the Film's international sales to conclude?

To find out, watch the Film now on Streaming, DVD and, I don't know, Video-CD.

Alot of Film...but also not that much.  Alita is apparently a condensed version of 2 Volumes of a 9 Volume Manga.  Given that it took over a Decade for this Film to get made, I guess we can enjoy the final chapter sometime around the point that the Sun burns out!  I kid, I kid.  The Story itself has potential, but it relies upon you buying into ALOT without much explanation.  'Oh sure, it's the future and Cyborgs...and a sky city...and robots...and those eyes.'  Seriously, it astounds me that they hired Christoph Waltz AFTER he appeared in a Film called Big Eyes.  It's like they wanted to make the joke easy for me!  I won't say that it ruins the Film- it doesn't.  It just creates a weird, jarring distraction during many key scenes (see the last 2 Screen Caps).  Speaking of distracting, we randomly meet a few Characters and they never show up again.  I get that they are there for future Sequels, but...why did we need them?  We really needed to see Jai Courtney for 10 seconds or hear Michele Rodriguez for 2 lines?  No.  Hey look- we got a random That Guy Actor...and made him a CG-cyborg Cowboy (see below)- why not?!?  Creepy eyes and uncanny valley faces aside, the Film looks nice.  You can tell that they actually spent lots of money on this.  I just wish that I really could connect with the Plot, Characters, Setting and overall feel of things.  The Movie just feels very long as it meanders early on, doesn't really pick up pace in the 2nd Act and then does too many things in the final Act.  It goes from 'things just kind of existing is a Plot' to 'Now let's jump from Page 70 to Page 90!' by the end.  I'm curious enough to at least check out the Anime, since...I mean, this guy won't be there...right?

A decent enough Film that can slip by on flashy visuals (and big eyes).  If you look deeper, you'll realize that there's both too much and too little Plot squeezed into what feels like 3 hours.