Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Rare Rip-Off Flix: Little Witches (1996)

At long last, I get to say this: Witches be tripping!  Today's film is Little Witches, a 1996 Film that is totally original and definitely not inspired by any other film that come out about six months earlier.  So what is this film about?  Well, isn't it obvious?  It is about Witches.  It is not about those fun ones who make their friends rap.  It is not about those famous ones who turn you into a Mouse.  It is not even about those ones from three different Dario Argento Films (and one Luigi Cozzi one).  Yes, I do take any excuse to reference Teen Witch and Dario Argento together- who wouldn't?  In this totally-unique film, a group of teenage/College-age girls get magic powers, become evil and wreak havoc.  Yep, totally-original.  On top of that, they worship 'He Who Comes,' which doesn't remind me of any other movie Monster.  Will evil triumph and prove to be stiff as a board or will it's threat be light as a feather?  To find out, read on...
A Hundred Years or so ago, some Witches tried to summon a Demon, but were stopped by a Catholic Order.
In the Present (of 1996), a group of six girls at a Catholic School get stuck staying over for Easter Break and one of them, is, well, a bit slutty.

By that, I mean 'very slutty.'
During some remodeling, the Chamber from the beginning is discovered by the Construction Crew, the main guy turning out to be a proto-Taylor Lautner.

Seriously, you know you're showing off when the Police finding a dead body is not a good enough excuse to put your damn shirt back on!
The bored group decides to wander into the Chamber and get drunk.  They decide then to recite some ancient chants, which awakens a spirit.
This lets a book loose that they then use to start casting spells and reciting incantations.  How do they know it works?
Because they make it rain!

Okay, it rains horizontally from a completely improbable angle (that is clearly just a sprinkler system)...but that counts, right?
One person stands in the way of the group summoning their new God- The Guardian.  Instead of an obscure DC Comic Character, it is...Zelda Rubinstein?
The group- minus Faith and her boy-toy- go full evil and kill her- plus the real Guardian shown here.  They make their big plan- which involves sacrificing Proto Taylor Lautner- and summon He Who Comes...
...which turns out to be a cool-looking, but barely-functional puppet that kills the one girl whose soul isn't saved...for some reason.  It just kind of falls into the well and the movie ends with Faith in confession...for some reason.  The End.
Eh, it's...pretty bad.  So yeah, in case you missed it still, this is basically The Craft.  The climax is more like The Unholy, but the inspiration for the film is clear.  Is it a direct Rip-Off?  Well, the film came out in December 1996, while the more famous film came out in May 1996.  Is this an early Asylum film?  Kind of, yeah.  Since I don't know the people behind the film and didn't ask them, I can't say definitively.  It is hard to see this as just a coincidence.  So what does the Film have going for it?  Well, there's lots of random Nudity.  That's always fun.  There's...the puppet Demon from the end, which is never in frame all that well and barely does anything.  There's....did I mention the copious amounts of pointless Nudity?  Not to break a 91-minute Film down to just that, but this Film is pretty shit.  That's all I have to say.  Here's the Stinger...
Next up, I watch a film that i've put off for like...forever.  It's from Troma, but only because they bought it and put it on YouTube (thank God!).  Stay tuned...

No comments:

Post a Comment