Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Fred Olen Ray J: Hatfields & McCoys- Bad Blood

If Fred Olen Ray can still make shitty movies in 2012, then I can be late.  Today's film is Hatfields & McCoys: Bad Blood.  If you're wondering why Ray made a film on this subject, there's a very simple reason: timing.  A pretty-successful mini-series event based on the famously-feuding families was made in the same year.  It was critically-lauded...which is not the same as today's film.  The TV film had Kevin Costner.  The Fred Olen Ray film had Christian Slater.  So yeah, there's a bit of a difference.  The big thing here- besides the smaller budget and stars- is that it plays fast and loose with history.  I haven't seen time this distorted since Time Crimes!  If you don't know about these famous families, you can learn here.  Mind you, you'll only learn part of the story and with some serious issues of time placement, but whatever.  To see *kind of* how this all got started, read on...
Are you ready for the smallest military battle since Time Chasers?  Enjoy.
Remember that whole thing about 'Show, don't Tell' I mentioned in an earlier review?  Well, Ray still hasn't learned that.  Joy.
"I'm in WHAT movie?  Well, as long as I barely appear in the film and clearly shot all of my scenes in 1 Day.  Great."
Oh and thanks to the confusing time issues in the film- basically, the feud takes place over two months and not 12 years- I'm not clear which Governor that Slater is supposed to be playing.  This is my closest guess...

So yeah, bye Historical Accuracy.
The real star here- since he actually appears in scenes with most of the cast- is Jeff Fahey as the head of the McCoys.  He's...actually pretty good here.

It's a shame that someone other than Fred Olen Ray isn't behind this film.
 Aside from the murder, there's a romance sub-plot between a Hatfield and a McCoy.  This replaces the 'Who owns this pig' debacle that really happened.

I get the idea of cutting that plot- since it does sound silly-, but it did, you know, happen!
The McCoys have a clear advantage in this battle, as they appear to have Dracula on their side.  Oh and Dylan Vox- who does both gay porn (not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that) and appears in Asylum films (not that there's...okay, you get the joke)- is here too.

On the plus side, he's not a time-traveling robot this time.
The gloves come off in this family-vs-family feud as CG blood is spilled.  Seriously, I hate you, CG blood!
Instead of SPOILING everything, I'll give you the lazy wrap-up that the real film gives you.  The End.
Well, by contrast, this is a decent film.  Let it be said that Ray makes films that aren't always horrible.  This film is...decent.  It's not really good.  It's not really bad.  The best thing I can say is that Hatfields & McCoys: Bad Blood is a decent film that does nothing special.  Hurray for mediocrity!  That said, I liked Fahey in this film.  He's not a bad Actor- even if he appears in stuff like this or Darkman 3.  He's the best part of the movie.  I am the master of very-minor compliments!  In all seriousness, this is a decent film.  While I haven't seen the mini-series, I'm pretty sure that's it's better, at least qualitatively.  For making an okay film, I salute you, Fred Olen Ray.  I say that in spite of this amazingly-silly bit of dialogue...
Next up, Project Terrible begins (for me)!  First up, Found Footage that is absolutely, positively NOT Korean.  Stay tuned...

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