4,400th Post Celebration!!!: Godzilla 1985 vs. The Return of Godzilla (1984)

 Alright, let's go full nerd for this big post! 

Yes, starting now.
Shut up.

Do I need to listen to a Remix of the Blue Oyster Cult Song while I do this?

In 1984, Japan made the first Godzilla Film in around a Decade- The Return of Godzilla.  Fittingly, this was a direct Sequel to the Original and it came on the 30th Anniversary of said Film.

In 1985, the Film ended up with a US Distributor- New World Pictures (aka Roger Corman's company).  He apparently won out when Toho tried to get ALOT for the rights (some say $4 million in 1985 money).

His cut is, well, a bit different.  Let's see how...

VS

**** Before the Film, Godzilla 1985's VHS includes the Cult Classic Cartoon entitled Bambi Meets Godzilla.  It's silly and short & likely Public Domain.  See it here.  ****

The Intro- involving a Ship in peril and mutated Sea Louse- is otherwise unchanged.

However, the US Cut abandons the Louse aspect entirely, while the other does not.
We also see 'photos' shown of the original Godzilla attack- cut in the US Version.

Oddly, they then ADD IN Stock Footage of the same attack later.  Why?!?

So much of the Plot hinges upon the then-current Cold War.

As such, the Japanese Version shows a Russian Nuclear Satellite and....a US Nuclear Satellite.

Corman and company cut the latter.

In another bit that is cut for, well, American pride, a Japanese Politician talks about how the struggle between the US and Russia is mostly at-fault for all of this.

You don't talk about us like that...when we Dub the Audio.

The biggest change in the 1985 Cut is that they added in a bunch of new footage.

They parallel the bits with the Japanese Politicians/Leaders with some on the American side.  No Russians though- it is 1985, after all.

This new footage includes Raymond Burr, who is once again inserted into a Godzilla Film as 'Steve Martin.'

More egregious- the product placement from Dr. Pepper, which netted them $10 million!

The biggest Plot change here is that the inciting conflict- a Russian missile launched at Japan during Godzilla's attack plays out two different ways.

In Japan, the launch is accidental, due to Godzilla's attack.

In 1985, the attack is *intentional* on the part of Russia.  Kind of notable, no!

As noted in a previous piece, Godzilla 1985 is now the only Godzilla Film without a DVD Release, so enjoy the video contrast.

Besides that, we get random Edits like cutting a Guard screaming before Godzilla stomps on him and an Audio recut to say that the last appearance was in 1956 (the year that Godzilla: King of the Monsters was released in America).

Once you take out the casual xenophobia towards Russia and Raymond Burr, it's a mostly 1-to-1 thing.

Besides, Raymond Burr is 'in it to win it' here with his super-serious Acting (even if he shot it in one day and never learned his lines).  

Why does Godzilla 1985 get so much hate (from the like 10 people who remember it)?

In total, Godzilla 1985 is a streamlined cut with minor additions- for better or for worse.  It lacks some depth in the Story that was deemed 'dull' or cut for Pacing, mostly.
The Return of Godzilla is probably better, since it is objectively the Film that they were trying to make.

Even so, how can I stay mad?

Thanks to a Scene or two with some Russians (in both Versions), we get the joy of double Subtitles!

The Return of Godzilla is out on DVD for a reasonable price.  In contrast, Godzilla 1985 goes for around $40 online.

Hmm....I should sell mine to some sucker...I mean, fan.

Immediate Response: Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

 Well, I went to a Theater for the first time in, what, a year?  Dang.

The secret- go on a Wednesday afternoon.  You'll have plenty of space for Social Distancing.

The Good

* The Film delivers big action on all fronts, with Godzilla blasting and Kong smashing!

* The human element is underplayed here, giving more focus to the titular

* The Plot manages to have some nice surprises that *aren't* SPOILED in the Trailers and the execution is solid.

* The Film focuses on the creatures and, as such, shows us little people in comparison to them any time that both are on-screen.

The Bad

* The balance of the two Plots- one focusing on Kong and one on Godzilla/Apex- is sometimes uneven.  It's never really bad, but not quite right.

* For the 'leading man,' Godzilla vanishes for a bit in the middle of the Film.

* A few human characters- like Lance Reddick's and Kyle Chandler's- get bugger all to do.  Oh well.

As a whole, the Film delivered a good Plot, big Action and a focus where it should be.
If you're a fan of these kinds of Films, see it how you choose to.

For me, my home TV was just not the right medium and I found a safe venue.

'00s Trash?: Decoys- The Second Seduction

 After all of this wait, the Film is...well, you'll see.  This is Decoys: The Second Seduction, a 2007 Sci-Fi Horror Film.  Well, that *might* be the Title.  According to the Film itself, it is Decoys 2: Alien Seduction.  Which is better?  I lean more towards the former, as the latter is a bit redundant.  The last Film was *also* about Alien Seduction, so why highlight it here?  In contrast, this is the second time we're shown this happening (the implication is that they've been around for a while), so it makes sense.  There- that whole, important thing is settled.  Returning for the Sequel, we have Corey Sevier, but not his friend that betrayed him at the end.  Was she too busy?  Instead of that logical appearance, one of the two main Alien Ladies is back with no explanation (until the very end).  It's kind of silly, even for a Film with Alien Tentacle Ladies on a College Campus.  The Plot involves, well, a second seduction.  Have they worked out the kinks in the process or not?  To find out, read on...

In the cold (no pun intended) open, a couple make-out in a Car until the girl reveals her tentacles and kills him.

Whelp, more of the same.

Sevier is back and you're probably wondering why he's not dead.

Well, the Film *eventually* exposition dumps about it.

In short, he was 'in love' with the girl/alien and his body adjusted more gradually to the temperature drop (or something) and he woke up in a Hospital.

Presumably, the mating process worked, which is important to remember for later.

Our main focus is not on Sevier, but on some friends who make a March Madness-type thing where they 'score points' for 'scoring' with ladies.

Our Heroes!

A local Doctor is actually the Alien in disguise, who, again, was killed in the last Film.  Did she just get better?

She's watching Sevier and setting him up to look crazy, which, to be fair, is really damn easy!

Saw's Tobin Bell is here to basically sleepwalk through another easy role- like in Boogeyman 2.

He's the Professor who Sevier works for, asks him about some drawings of the Alien Girls and then gets killed off-screen.  Yea?

The big change here is that the Alien Girls know that acting on Guys' fantasies will make them less likely to die (for some reason).

As such, they can now read minds and morph into whatever outfit works.

It's a decent gimmick, so fair play.

Sevier continues to get manipulated easily and looks crazy, leading his Doctor- filling in the Supportive Female Side Character part from the last Film- to giving him lots of pills.

Basically, his whole Arc is stolen wholesale from *the original* Fright Night 2, complete with him not believing the last Film really happened...until he just does.

The Film layers a few random Sub-Plots in to reach 90 minutes, most notably our young Hero not being sure if his lady friend is an Alien (like in the last Film).

It all ends with a big series of showdowns with the Aliens, culminating in the main one.  She says that Sevier 'killed one of her clones' and that's all you get for an explantion.

She dies (again).

Throughout the Film, the bodies of the victims have gone missing and now we find out how- they were hidden by the Alien Girls.

Our Heroes and Heroines see the bodies as a new spawn emerges and...a cliffhanger ending?  The hell?!?!?

An improvement, for the most part.  I've talked about Sequelitis many times before.  If you don't know, it is the need to one-up things for the Sequel(s).  It sometimes ends well, like getting multiple Aliens in, well, Aliens.  Other times it gets a bit silly, like all of the fetish-y Werewolf stuff and new lore in Howling 2.  This one manages to kind of sneak by through the middle.  We don't really get new Aliens- just the new gimmick/power.  On its own, it is a fine bit of growth.  We don't get anything especially crazy though, like some sort of new transformation or anything.  The Plot growth kind of works.  The original Alien (kind of) manipulating Sevier works, even if Bell's part is pretty minor.  For getting top billing, Sevier doesn't do as much as you might think.  He's there for, I guess, the Star Power.  Quick- name another Corey Sevier Film that isn't Decoys!  Speaking of which, they name drop the Aliens here and act like Sevier coined that term in the last Film.  Did I miss that?  It's not a bad name, although the meaning is a bit dubious all things considered.  Decoys 2 (or whatever you want to call it) is a decent, but not-that-impressive Sequel.  As a follow-up, it's good.  On its own, it's alright, but that's about it.  At least you can enjoy all of the Dialog in way more languages than you might expect...

Next time, a Film from the 1980s that got minor attention due to its Stars.  Considering that DVDs are sparse however and my copy is on VHS, it didn't amount to much.  Stay tuned...

Quick Review: Wonder Woman 1984

 After my joke Review, I should probably talk about the real Film, no?  Alright then...

In the Film's Cold Open, we see a young Diana trying to prove herself.  However, she's taught that you can't truly win if you cheat.

Is it cloudy or is that just all of the foreshadowing?

In 1984 (what?!?!?), Wonder Woman is fighting crime, but in secret.

Yeah, secret.

I mean, just accept this to avoid a Justice League Plot Hole, since that Film has enough already.

The Plot hinges on Maxwell Lord (who sure has a history with Comic Book Wonder Woman) using the Dreamstone to grant wishes...but give power to himself in the process.

Thankfully, he's never quite as neon in the Film as he is here.

In the twist that everyone knows, Diana gets her wish in the form of Steve Trevor back (but with complications).

Will she regret her wish in the end?

Of course, you can't easily stop a man with the kind of power that Lord possesses.

Will a long-overdue Action Scene be too much for Wonder Woman?

Will a long-simmering (in this Film alone, mind you) conflict with the future Cheetah stand in her way?

To find out, stream the Film, see it (apparently still!) in Theaters or rent it like I did.  The End.

A Film that is quite good...but it won't be for everyone.  The first Wonder Woman was a good Film, in spite of clear tonal issues that were forced upon them by DC Executives.  We can't just have a hopeful Film, since, you know, grim and gritty is what 'all Adults' like.  Oh well.  In this case, many of these issues have been dealt with.  This time, it is Patty Jenkins' Film.  That brings many good things and a few bad things.  The Plot gives us many great moments of hope, bright colors and a good lesson in how life goes on, no matter how much we don't want it to sometimes.  It is still anchored a bit by the idea that Diana hasn't found ANYONE to be with in over 60 Years.  As a fully-straight man, I can still totally see the appeal of Steve Trevor (and the Actor that plays him).  That said, nobody?  Really?!?  This is a key Plot Point, so you just have to accept it.  The downside, I think, is that the focus is far less on what you might expect from a Movie like this.  The Film is never boring, but the early parts are less focused on what you might think.  Thankfully, the Film really picks up once it is done putting all of the key aspects in place.  As a whole, the Film pays off really well and doesn't always go where you think it will.  It is almost never subtle, so don't expect that.  Ming you, she's wearing golden armor with wings by the end, so would you expect subtle?  Speaking of which, DC/WB apparently didn't pay Alex Ross for the use of the Armor he designed for Kingdom Come here.  How's that going to work out?

****

A Film that is strong on many fronts.  The only problem is that the focus and Pacing may not be to your liking.

'00s Trash?: Decoys (2004)

 Watching a Movie to justify buying a different Movie- such is my life!  This is Decoys, a 2004 Film about killer Aliens.  Sadly, it's another Species clone.  It is killer girl aliens.  It is a College Campus.  It is slightly-Canadian.  It is so Canadian, in fact, that it was shot by a guy named Villeneuve...but not one related to the Director you're thinking of.  I checked- like 3 times to be sure.  The Director does mostly TV- like Warehouse 13, Flash Gordon and Shadowhunters- but also gave us Vampire Wars.  Its Co-Writer worked on much of the same stuff, but also a new Screamers Film and...ugh, Amityville 5.  Can a generic, hunky guy save humanity from good-looking alien babes with tentacles?  To find out, read on...

Good-looking Blondes are all over a College Campus in the Winter.  One guy sneaks into their room- innocently, to be fair- and sees too much though.

As noted, the girls are Aliens that shoot tentacles/tendrils into men during sex.  All of them end up dying, as their body cools when exposed to the alien substance.

On the plus side, you've hit just about every Male Fear with this, save for guys also losing their members.

Our man- Corey Sevier- knows the truth...but nobody believes him.

To be fair, would you?

It all leads to a big Dance, since, School and he has to save people at this event.

He mostly just annoys the same poor girl who keeps getting in the middle and annoying this RA.

Said Aliens will transform back when they are exposed to any real degree of heat, which raises some questions.

What did they do during the Summer?
Why is it so severe?
Why does this cool-looking Practical Effect mostly get replaced by some dodgy CGI?

The Plot takes an interesting diversion as one of the Aliens genuinely falls for our Hero's friend, reveals the truth about herself and he willingly lets her do her thing.

He thinks that he can survive and wants to help out.

He gives birth to a spider-thing, dies and 'proves' to our Hero that they are evil.

Enjoy this tiny bit of Character subtext/growth- it's gone in the Sequel!

Our Hero finally stops having to deal with this Cop- who's so important that i'm just mentioning him now- and get help from...some lady.

Seriously, they didn't properly explain who this lady is (his Sister?  his friend?).

In any event, they kill the bad aliens and all is well...until our Hero hooks up with his thought-she-was-just-a-friend lady friend...but she's an Alien!  The End.

It's...alright, but really nothing special.  Would I have watched Decoys if I didn't already own a 50 cent Copy of Decoys 2?  Not likely.  Do I regret seeing it?  Not really.  It's not bad.  It's not good.  I will give the Film some props for adding little touches of depth to the Story.  Sadly, that also makes the generic stuff feel even more generic.  Don't give me one interesting moment and stop there- its worse than if you had none!  It's like putting out five McDonald's Burgers and then one 16oz Kobe Steak right in the middle.  The whole Film is just kind of forgettable, save for moments like the good Alien and the twist at the end.  I sure hope that it pays off in the Sequel!  Decoys is harmless, but forgettable viewing.  At worst, it will make you think that you're watching an American Pie Film when the Aliens aren't around...

Next up, the Sequel aka the reason I even bothered.  Will it be a superior Sequel?  Stay tuned...

Top 10 Obscure King Kong/Godzilla (and Friends) Films

This is obvious click-bait, sure.
This can also be informative.

You take the good with the bad, no?

10. Godzilla vs. Biollante: It is more common now, but that wasn't always the case.

It took until the late 2010s to get a number of Films on DVD or Blu-Ray.  With 29 or so Godzilla Films, this and my #1 pick were the stragglers.  It's even the direct Sequel to that Film('s Japanese Version).

The Plot is kind of bonkers, as Biollante is a part-rose/part-Godzilla and part-a girl's DNA.  Curious yet?

9. The Rebirth of Mothra Trilogy: Mothra has a weird history with Godzilla.

In short, she was her own Character for a solo Film and then put into many Godzilla Films, even as recently as 2019.  In the middle, she starred in a new Series of Films that are kind of fun.

You get all sorts of craziness like an evil Fairy, a dragon and time-travel.  You have to be curious now, right?

8. Gamera's 1990s Films: This turtle was always second best to Godzilla, but made a go of things here.

Like Mothra, he got a Trilogy in the Heisei Era.  It actually played the long game, giving us a villain in the first Film who's battle would lead to the creation of the one in the third Film.

It also gets surprisingly-dark at times, so don't just think of him as the 'rocket turtle' here.

7. Queen Kong: A semi-loving Parody.

Shortly before Hustler v Falwell established the ground rules for Film Parody legality, this Film came out.  It's mostly a one-to-one Parody where they gender swap everyone and add jokes.

Hey Anime, someone beat you to this!

6. King Kong Lives: A decent-enough Film that suffers from being a delayed follow-up.

Dino De Laurentis' Kong Remake had big hype and an even bigger robot...that didn't work.  As such, it kind of flamed out at the Box Office in the long run.

Cut to 10 years later and it *finally* got a Sequel!  Featuring Linda Hamilton, it brought in a lady Kong and all of the usual stuff you'd expect.  The only downside- the laughable effects.

5. Godzilla's 1998 Cartoon Sequel: Roland Emmerich's Godzilla cost alot of money and made alot of enemies.

Even so, it got a Sequel...as a Cartoon.  Back when many Films got this- like Jumanji, Men in Black and others-, this one was no exception.  Of course, those examples eventually got one.

This is the only continuation of the Emmerich Godzilla Series, so enjoy.

4. King Kong Escapes!: After the Film that is *kind of* being remade for Theaters in 2021, things didn't stop there.

Happy with the results, Toho decided to make another Film starring just Kong this time.

Like Godzilla, he too battles a robot doppelganger and...Doctor Who?  Different guy- same name.
It's also the set-up for a Cartoon Show, so extra weird.

3. Japanese Cuts of the Films: In the VHS and early DVD times, we could only get certain versions.

For instance, the original Godzilla was less common here than Godzilla, King of the Monsters (1956)- the US Cut with Raymond Burr.  Many others had this same kind of luck, including its Sequel- Godzilla Raids Again.

Now you can watch both and compare- fun!

2. Luigi Cozzi's Godzilla: It's a tight race for #1, but I have a personal affinity for the latter Film.

In 1977, Cozzi oversaw a colorization of the US Cut of Godzilla (King of the Monsters, to be precise) for Italian TV.

Due to all sorts of Film Rights complications, it solely exists in 5-6th Generation VHS Copies from TV.  I'd pay for HBO Max if they put this up, wouldn't you?

1. Godzilla 1985: With so many Films in the Series, why is this one NOT on DVD?

Well, basically, New World Pictures bought the rights to The Return of Godzilla, cut some footage and shot some new footage.

This one is divisive- to say the least- and only exists on VHS.  Yes, I do own one.

Don't you feel informed?  

Now go and watch some Kaiju Films!

Quick Review: Wonder Woman 1967

 Before we get to 1984, we need to take a quick stop along the way.  Specifically, the year 1967 where things are...interesting...

In 1967, a love-lorn Diana is living with her Mother...in the City.

I guess you can get tired of Paradise Island after long enough.

Wonder Woman has to go save the day, but her Mother insists that it is too dangerous...and she needs to eat.

Mothers, am I right?

She's also upset that Diana is single, which sure can't be a new argument when Steve died in 1919.

Finally, Diana quick-changes into her outfit and...wait- we have a Narrator.

I'm getting Adam West flashbacks here.

Anyhow, she changes to go save the day...before stopping to do the old Mirror Gag.

She flies off into action and...that's it.

Damn- I wanted to see live-action Egg-Fu!  Oh, you tease.

Well, this certainly lacks the thrills and grandeur of the last Film.  It's also way shorter, just barely hitting four and a half minutes.  On the plus side, Gal Gadot disappears into this role (as does her accent).

Oh and APRIL FOOLS!