DCE-Hulu: Swamp Thing- 'Worlds Apart'

Another week for this long, slow death march of a Series.  Can I get past this sense of futility?  Let's see...

In the wake of the big events at the end of the last Episode, Alec Holland's disappearance is investigated.

Somehow, this leads to a references to Blue Devil- who'd have guessed?!?

The titular character is having problem figuring out what the hell happened.

To be fair, I get like this any time I have to get up at 7am.

Abby Arcane is trying to solve his disappearance, as well as find out what is going on with the sick girl.

It took me until this Episode to realize that the same Actress from the last Season of Channel Zero is in this.  What a bad year for her and good Shows!

Can Swamp Thing come to terms with his new reality in time to save a life?  To find out, stream away.

Young Justice: Outsiders is back soon- hold strong!

Another slow and steady Episode.  The positives first, shall we?  We finally get some clear shots of Swamp Thing and he looks amazing!  It's a combination of great CGI, great Practical Effects and all around Production Values.  If they don't do more with this design after the Show ends, they are fools!  The Acting and Atmosphere are both top notch.  Everyone has a moment or two to shine.  There's a great bit with Virginia Madsen and a Psychic that I didn't tease before, for one.  The Climax of the Episode is quite good too, giving you suspense and brutal violence to end everything.  The negatives here are pretty minimal.  This one is still all about slow setup for the most part, so be prepared.  They still have more to set up (like Jason Woodrue) and tease.  The other big thing (to me) was the overuse of dramatic music.  It's clearly a James Wan thing and I'm not a big fan.  A Musical Score should accentuate the moments, not define them.  If something is scary, it should be so on its own merit, not because the Music suddenly got all loud and dramatic.  That may just be a problem for me though.  All in all, I like the Show and hope it continues to build on the little stuff- just do it faster.  You're on borrowed time, Series!  On the plus side, my personal stake in this one continues...

Next time, more intrigue and bloody death.  This sure ain't a kid's Show!  See you then...

Zoned Out: The Twilight Zone- 'Point of Origin'

Another week and another trip to a strange land of allegory.  This week, are you really from where you think you are?

This WASP is nice and kind- just not as much as she thinks.  Her life is simple and perfect.

...but it's the Twilight Zone, so it is time for that all to change!

She's arrested for reasons they won't explain and processed with a bunch of other people that seem innocent enough.  What gives?

Will she find out the truth?  If she does, can she accept it?

To find out, stream the Show.

A solid, if more experimental Episode.  This one is a big change for the 'so obvious that it almost hurts' allegory of last week.  When you see what they are going for it, things appear more obvious.  That said, the trip to get there is pretty nice.  It starts out as a simple 'slice of life' and escalates into so much more.  They are clearly address a bigger issue, just in a Sci-Fi sort of way.  They don't beat you over the head with the message- nice.  You could definitely be less subtle with this one.  In this case, they get pretty creative with the whole thing.  That said, it is hard not to see some inspiration for stuff like The Handmaid's Tale, at least with the visuals.  You can't put WASP-y women in uniforms without me seeing that- to be fair.  Given how surreal they play this one, it isn't my favorite Episode so far, but I think it has staying power.  Plus, it has this neat little Easter Egg...

Next time, a tragic death leads to a strange mystery.  What is it all about?  See you then...

DCE-Hulu: Doom Patrol- 'Flex Patrol'

Another week of meandering, but solid stories.  Will the trend get bucked?  Let's see...

In a Flashback, we see Flex Mentallo, before he's captured by the bad guys who love normalcy.

In further Flashbacks, we see that him and Negative Man were once neighbors.  Can this end well?

The gang needs to do something dramatic to get Flex's memory back, since he's apparently key to finding The Chief.

Yeah, that guy.  He has no appearance in this Episode at all.  Not one.

Can they deal with all of their issues and get behind, you know, the Plot?  Will the guy from Up help?

To find out, stream away.  Just don't get too attached to any Show these days...I guess.

A pretty decent distraction.  I'll deal with the one bit at the end later.  Discussing the actual Episode first, it is good.  They don't actually do a whole lot.  Most of the Episode is made up of Flashbacks, specifically ones involving Negative Man and Flex Mentallo.  On that note, I do like their interpretation of Flex here.  The whole idea is quite weird- a Comic Book Character come to life with vague, reality-warping powers- and it fits this show.  I'm not sure what his importance is here, but we'll see.  The Acting is really good here and I have no complaints about that.  Now here's the big issue- using Mr. Nobody to break the 4th Wall.  That's his thing, but it was used very sparingly and for random nonsense.  Having him references the DC Streaming Service to The Chief- distracting, but harmless.  Having him actively make the same complaints that I did- not cute.  That is oddly too META.  Make sense?  I'm looking forward to the closure here, even if they made me wait so damn long.  Seriously though, stupidly-META Mr. Nobody is...no.

Next time, the Plot moves forward?  That can't be right...can it?  See you then...

Rare Flix: Seedpeople (1992)

A Review long in the making!  Well, I'm writing it all in one day, but you get the hyperbole.  Today's Film is Seedpeople, a 1992 Full Moon Film that is kind of rare.  Finding it wasn't like opening up a Bunker in Peru or anything- just random luck finding it in a multi-Film set.  I've seen it advertised on numerous Full Moon Releases, but never found it until recently.  Was it worth the wait?  Will it make me finally track down and watch Shrunken Heads or any of those Killer Eye Sequels?  The Film comes to us from a Director with only a handful of feature Credits.  The most notable Film for him is either Arena or The Dungeonmaster (in which he only Directed a Segment).  He apparently still does the occasional Full Moon cash grab- like a 'Film' that is just people watching Puppet Film Clips-, so good for him.  Unlike Evil Bong (which has 8 Films?!?), this is a one-and-done, a Full Moon rarity.  How they made multiple Killjoy Films, but only one of these is anyone's guess.  The Plot involves evil seeds from outer space, silly monsters and mind-control.  It's not exactly original.  If you ever wanted a dumber version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers mixed with Critters, you're in luck.  Also seek help, you weirdo!  Is this forgettable or a hidden (sort of) gem?  To find out, read on...

A man- our Lead- wakes up in some sort of room with a head injury.  He's strapped down when a Government Agent starts to question him.  He tells his story.

Not to jump ahead, but you see the Twist coming, right?  It's super-obvious!!!

He returned home to Comet Valley, where he left behind personal drama.  He's here to study more meteor rocks that just got discovered.

The Sheriff- aka his ex-lady's new beau- finds a weird Triffid-like Tree...which shoots him with ooze and makes a mutant double of him.

Said double is one of three creatures, which usually roll around like the aforementioned Critters.

They look silly, but just the right kind of silly for a Creature Feature.

Only one man figures out the truth without being corrupted.  Naturally, he looks insane while doing so.

It all relates to a Meteor that struck the now-ironically-named Valley.  Seeds are apparently the 'best way to travel in Space' according to him.  That Meteor, naturally, was a giant seed.

Anyone going to question this logic?  Nah.

The alien has controlled most of the Town by now and wants to spread its seed around to conquer the Earth.

That sounded more gross than I meant.

After a long, silly climax, they seemingly-free the people and burn the seeds in a fiery crash.

...only for it to be (obviously) revealed that they survived (HOW?!?), took over everyone again and they kill our Lead off-screen.

This is what happens when you write a Story and THEN add a Twist.  The End.

A sometimes fun, but mostly-silly mess.  The core premise- aliens and their seeds conquer a Town- is fine.  It's not *original,* but it's fine.  The problem is that they don't quite know how they want things to work.  At one point, they seemingly-kill and replace people.  At another point, they just expose you to the seeds and control you.  They thrown in the idea that UV Light hurts them (I don't know why) and this somehow breaks the control over you.  Why and how?  You seeing the light hurts the thing inside of you somehow and it dies...I guess.  They don't say, so how can I?  It's also not clear why they need to keep you around if they can replace you...unless there's an Addendum to Rule C, Part 2 of Alien Body Takeover Rules that I missed.  Ignoring that, the Acting is okay.  One weird bit of casting- a Woman plays the Mother of a Girl...who's Actress is only 9 years younger!  Eww and/or huh?  The Lead has one of those generic looks that made me sometimes think of him as Steve Railsback, but other times as Randy Orton or the guy from Time Chasers.  I should also note that Sonny Davis is here Full Moon Regular Sonny Davis is here as a random guy, making this one of his earliest Films with them.  Coincidentally, his most recent credit is a Short Film called Seed.  Fate works in mysterious ways, folks!  If this was more of a Creature Feature, it would work.  If it was more of a Body Snatcher Film, it would also work.  Stupid and illogical twist aside, the Film is torn between its two halves like that girl from The Hitcher.  Pick a Movie and go with it.  At the very least, don't make it super-obvious when it was made too (if you want to avoid it being dated)…

Next time, another random Film for no reason.  I can't tell you if I don't know, now can I?  Stay tuned...

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: The Bird with the Crystal Plumage

I don't talk about Dario Argento enough.

To that end, here's a famous Poster for the American release of his first Giallo and break-out Film...

Damn!

That's intense.  That's visceral.

That's...'Remember 'Psycho?''  Really?

Stop making us look silly, 50 year old Film Poster!

Here's the original...

The colors obviously-faded over the years, so I like to think that I restored its glory.  I also added color in the obvious spot.  I make no apologies.

DCE-Hulu: Swamp Thing- 'Pilot' (2019)

At long last, a dark, hour-long Character Drama on DC's Streaming Service.  Finally, some variety!

All joking aside, I love Swamp Thing and I hope that its late Creators are honored in this new retelling of the Story...

In a Cold Open, some guys dumping chemicals in the Swamp get killed.

Captain Planet isn't taking any shit no more!

A Doctor from the CDC is called into her Hometown when a Virus breaks out.

Hey look- Tuvok is here!

The Virus appears to just affect people, but a further look shows that something more is going on...

Alec Holland comes in and tries to solve the case with her.  Nice name, bro.

When freaky stuff starts to show up and Personal Drama occurs, who will live and who will die?

To find out, stream the Show.

A strong, albeit slow burn of an opening Episode.  They don't rush things too much.  'Don't rush- we've got time' sure seems to be the slogan at DC.  I bet it is painted- nay, welded in cold steel- onto the doors in the Offices.  They don't got anywhere fast- love it or hate it.  This one works- at least for now- because something interesting is always happening.  If Swamp Thing is just hanging out in a Mansion by Episode 7 or forgetting to stop Arcane to say, team up with Deadman for no good reason in Episode 9, I can still judge.  They set all of the things up here pretty well.  All of the Characters we get to know are deep and rich.  There's obviously more bubbling under the surface here.  I like how it is all about the people trying to fix the problem and not those behind it.  It's Arcane.  It's always Arcane.  If it's not Arcane, then...it's still Arcane.  I still want to see how this all plays out.  Considering that one Episode of the 1990s Swamp Thing Show was about the Titular Character being taunted by Satan (no lie) and another involved the Family being held hostage by Terry Funk, there's nowhere to go but up here.  If it lives up to this promising Pilot, I'll be happy to keep shining a light on it...

Next time, one character is forever changed.  What effect will this have on everyone else?  See you then...

Zoned Out: The Twilight Zone- 'Not All Men'

This one is going to be fun to discuss without pissing some people off.  Let's do this...

A young woman is just trying to live her life, do her job and be happy.  What could go wrong?

On a date with a coworker, some meteors strike the small town and the rocks intrigue everyone- including her date.

When he starts to get more aggressive and she rejects his ministrations, he freaks out after she leaves.

She tries to move on, but men in the town start to get more erratic, more crazy and more violent.

Can they escape or is the town doomed?

To find out, watch this slightly-charged Episode that I'm sure was a hit on 8Chan.

This is going to bother some people.  To be fair, what doesn't these days.  Ha ha ha- social commentary.  In all seriousness, this is another 'gonna make people mad' Episode.  Jordan Peele does not shy away from this and his work is better for it.  You don't make Get Out if you're afraid of offending some people.  In this case, he's not the 'main man' behind this Episode, but he is putting name and face on the whole series.  This Episode taps into an issue that has really picked up in the last few years (although it's certainly not a new one).  I don't have to explain what this one is related to, do I?  I'd rather not address the elephant in the room- there's no need.  If this Episode bothers you, big whoop.  Outside of any commentary, this is a strong example of how you center an Episode around someone just trying to avoid the insanity around them.  How do you make them not too passive?  How do you make them not too assertive?  It's tricky, but they do it right here.  If you think its insulting, super-insightful or just a normal Episode, it's still good and interesting.  It also gives me a sneak peek at what my Birthday may look like...

Next time, a story about identity and intrigue.  What else is new though, right?

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2019)

It's rare that I get one of these for an Animated Film, let alone one seemingly-aimed at a younger demographic!

In Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Shredder and Ra's Al Ghul team up.  

Part of the plan- break into Arkham Asylum.

They don't mess around either!

Seriously- they just straight up start killing these guys!  

This one even has Elektra's invincible shirt power!

They even work it into a montage as one Guard keeps checking the Cameras and Guards die in a flash.  

There must be a dozen or so!

The final Guard is taken care of by Ghul himself.  

It won't end well for him!

Earlier in the Film, Batman makes a show of getting victims out of a Plant before the Foot can attack it.  Now...everyone is dying and, well, there's no response.

The moral: don't work at Arkham.  Did you really need me to tell you that though?!?

Next time, a man checks up on his friend.  That was his last mistake!  See you then...

Long Live the King!: Top 10 Godzilla Wannabes

As a new Godzilla Film comes out this weekend, it's important to remember his legacy.  He stomped Tokyo and the World over 20 times.

During his run, he had many imitators- some good and some bad.  Is it bad to emulate Godzilla?  Hell no!

To find out who did it right, who did it wrong and who did it the weirdest, read on...

10. Gorgo: This American attempt went through a lot of changes, with its location moving from Japan to France to the British Isles.  It didn't disguise the fact that this was clearly trying to be the King.

9. Daimajin (Series): A statuesque attempt at emulating the Series.  He's a Statue.  Get it?  Oh and his Plot- involving a tiny Statue that grows into a giant to free the innocent will come up again.

8. Orochi- The Eight-Headed Dragon: This big guy tried to sneak in while Godzilla was on his last legs- nice try!  In 1994, the Godzilla Film Series was not performing as well, leading to a temporary series end in 1995.  This one tried to stake it's claim and kind of failed.

7. Frankenstein Conquers the World: No doubt the weirdest one to make the list!  The Plot involves nuclear energy, Frankenstein's monster and a second monster.  Not content with making one monster, they co-opted Baragon, Godzilla's first rival!  You know that you're trying to be Godzilla when you borrow the Supporting Cast, no?

6. Q- The Winged Serpent: A late attempt and a personal favorite of mine.  The late Larry Cohen made this homage to Monster Movies featuring a giant Reptile.  His could fly, however, topping Godzilla.  Well, except for that one time.  It's a unique Film, but, I mean...Godzilla started all of this as being viable, so it makes the list.

5. Rodan: One of the earliest attempts and it comes from the same Director.  He gave us a new Monster!  It...isn't well-remembered.  The poor guy rebounded to be a Co-Star in Godzilla Films...although never a big part of them.

4. Reptilicus: A killer monster from the land of Danishes!  Okay, it's just Denmark.  Their version is more of a long dragon from China than, well, Godzilla.  It's a Cult Film and it's alright.

3. Cloverfield: I mean...duh.  Do I need to explain this?  Is this technically a Series at this point or just random BS?  Be honest now...

2. Pulgasari: The most infamous one for its history.  Kim Jong Il wanted his own Godzilla Film.  To that end, he kidnapped a Japanese Director and Actress to make stuff for him.  The final Film they made- before their escape- was this Godzilla knock-off by way of Daimajin.  Hey look- the pay-off!

1. Yonggary/Reptilian: Not the most infamous for its history, but for its terrible execution.  The Film's original release- in 1999- was received so poorly that it was re-released with improved effects in 2001.  It was literally called the '2001 Upgrade Edition!'  Released under a new name in America- as being a Remake (of sorts) of a forgotten South Korean Film wasn't useful in the States- it blatantly copied a Godzilla moment on its box art.

Do you like these would be heirs to the Throne?  I like many of them myself.

Here's hoping that the current Film lives up to the legacy!