Before 'Age of Ultron': The Iceman (2012)

What do you know- another good Movie!  Today's Film is The Iceman, a 2012 True Crime Film.  It is not to be confused with the recent Film from China called Iceman.  It is also not to be confused with the Marvel Comics Character currently controlled by Fox Studios.  That's not to say that there isn't a Comic Book connection here.  The Film Stars Michael Shannon, an intense Actor known well for his portrayal of 'Zod' in Man of Steel.  On top of that, Chris Evans- aka The Human Torch from The Fantastic Four Films and Captain America from 4 Films (so far)- appears in this one.  On a more minor note, James Franco appears in one Scene and he did the same in The Green Hornet.  What is the Film actually about though?  It is the Story of a Contract Killer for the Mob through the 1970s and 80s.  Shannon is really intense here, even by his own standards.  How good is this one?  Well, it is good enough for me to have to try to make something funny out of it.  Let's see how that turns out...

Shannon is Richard Kuklinski, a man working a lowly-job for a Mobster until he proves himself.

When he does, he becomes a Contract Killer.  He...seems way too calm about this, hence the name.

Seriously, he doesn't even question anything!  He won't kill women or children though.  Yea, I guess.

Hey look- James Franco.  I won't SPOIL things...but don't get too used to him.

Hey look- the reason I watched this Movie!  Chris Evans plays another Contract Killer who ends up working with Shannon to kill people and make the bodies nearly untraceable.  Nice wig.

Shannon's killer works for his growing family over the years.  I hope they appreciate all the murder- I know I do.

Shannon's killer makes some enemies over the years.  Will things work out?  Who will live?  To find out, watch the Movie.  The End.

Good stuff- dark, but good.  The whole thing is really a Character Piece.  These kinds of Stories either work for you or they don't.  It worked for me.  The key here is Shannon, who is just so damn intense!  He really sells you on this.  I don't have to tell you that he's a good Actor by now, right?  Everyone in here does a good job, honestly.  Franco is good in his one Scene.  Ray Liotta is good here.  David Schwimmer is even pretty good as a mustachioed Jewish Gangster.  I really liked Evans here, as he plays a guy that is far from his flawed Hero in Puncture and miles worse personality-wise than Captain America!  I won't SPOIL his worst moment, but you will know it when you see it!  This is honestly a good, dark Film that fans of True Crime Films will like.  While it has Cap, The Human Torch and is called Iceman, it is just missing Blade...

Next up, a classic Tale about a Writer gone crazy.  Should I be worried or excited?  Stay tuned...

Holiday Tripe: Mexican Werewolf in Texas

Can we discuss this Title for a second?  Today's Film is Mexican Werewolf in Texas, a 2005 Direct-to-Video Horror Film.  So what is a Mexican Werewolf?  Is it a Mexican guy who gets turned into a Werewolf?  Is it any guy who gets bitten by some sort of Mexican version of a Werewolf?  Is it something else entirely?  In addition, why does it matter what State he's in?  The answer is this: it is a Chupacabra.  Granted- it looks, acts and generally seems to be a Werewolf...but it isn't.  Make sense?  Nope- not to me either.  This Film is about a bunch of rednecks (in Texas?) who must stop a mysterious creature.  I guess that makes sense since this is apparently set in the 'Goat Capital of the Country.'  Sure- why not?  I'll keep this somewhat brief since many of you are probably on your third Tequilas by now.  To find out more, read on...

In Texas, there are alot of mysterious deaths of Goats and people at night.

I should note that this Film does an In Media Res Intro, since...reasons.

Our Heroes are the young people in Town, since they are inherently-smarter than everyone else.

The movie keeps the Monster hidden for quite awhile, but does not shy away from having attacks.

Oh and they use random Filters for some reason.  This...is better?

When you finally see the monster, it looks kind of neat.  It makes you wonder though- why the hell is this just not a Werewolf?  I'm confused.

Not to be a snob, but isn't this what people tend to think of the creature looking?

Oh well, they kill it.

Of course, we saw the End of the Movie at the start, so either it lived or there were more.  The End.

Not that great.  Honestly, this one is just so damn uninspired.  Rednecks try to kill a monster, most of them die and then our Heroes kill it.  Other than that, not much happens.  They get the Film to 80+ minutes by having our Female Lead not get along with our Parents.  Yea?  She also Narrates about half of the Film.  Double Yea?  On the plus side, this one was free to watch (with Ads).  On the negative side, it wasn't very good.  I can at least take solace in the fact that the Special Effects in this 2005 Film are still less silly than in 2013's Chupacabra vs The Alamo...

Next up, I cover a well-regarded Film with two Comic Book Stars in it.  As a bonus, it is also named after an X-Man.  Stay tuned...

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art (Holiday Edition): Santo vs The Martian Invasion

I love El Santo Films.  They are weird and goofy.

Even so, are they really weird and goofy enough to live up to this sort of hype?

I love this kind of stuff!  It is just so ridiculous!

Does any of this stuff actually happen in the Film?  I don't know, but I highly-doubt it.

Anyone out there seen it and can verify?  Let me know.

P.S. This is not the main update for Cinco De Mayo.  I just couldn't resist.

My Crazy Youth (At Heart): That Time Captain Hero Wooed Princess Clara With Car Accidents

I really like Drawn Together.  I won't apologize for it.  It was a crass, ridiculous and usually-stupid Show.

I still love it.

If you watched Comedy Central between 2004 and 2006, you saw at least one Ad for this Show.  They were really excited about it at first.  Later on, they pulled the old 'Let's keep changing the time-slot' game and it eventually ended after 3 Seasons.  I didn't love it at first, but it has totally grown on me.  The basic premise is that 8 Parody Cartoon Characters live in a Reality Show House together.  The Cast included Xandir (a Link Parody), Princess Clara (a Disney Princess Parody) and Captain Hero (a Superman Parody).  While I was not a kid when the Show ran, I maintain that my love of ridiculous crap as a Kid (see Thundarr) has led to me loving stuff like this as an Adult.  To highlight this Show, let me pick out one Story (all but one Episode feature 2 parallel Stories) from the Episode 'Spelling Applebee's' to cover.  One is a Rocky-style Parody with Foxy (a Josie and the Pussycats Parody) and Spelling Bees (which is funny), but the other features Captain Hero and Princess Clara hooking up over, well, you can read the Title.  To find out more of what this ridiculous Show is about, read on...

Hero tells the group that a Bully picks on him at the Store.  Clara takes him and finds out that his 'Bully' is, well...

After giving her a less than romantic note, she agrees to go on a Date with him.  He tries an unusual tactic to win her favor...

She is really upset with him until a Car explodes out on the Street and she seems...very excited.

All is well (cue Montage) until Princess Clara reveals that she only loves him for the crashes.  Ouch.

To spite her, Captain Hero starts stopping all car crashes he can to deny her any vehicular release.

She convinces him to give their 'love' another chance, but her demeanor is suspicious to me.

Sure enough, she is just using him again.  Well, Captain Hero is not dumb (this time, anyways)...

He causes the car(riage) with her friends in it to crash, killing them.  Bring it on, Disney!

While this may seem like a depraved Story, it does come with a very helpful moral.  The End.

What a strange Story!  The whole thing is just way over the top silly.  In other words, I love it.  Hero is crazy.  Clara is crazy.  Everyone is just kind of stuck in the middle.  It is dark, strange and completely bizarre.  Good.  By the way, this Plot may remind you of a Movie from the 1990s.  I'll get to that one soon enough.  In the meantime, enjoy this totally-romantic note courtesy of Captain Hero...

Say what you will, but I still love this weird-ass Show.  It's not for everyone, but...who cares?

Before 'Age of Ultron': Chaplin

Unlike yesterday's Biopic, there is no murder.  Hurray!  Today's Film is Chaplin, a Film that has been sitting on my shelf for Months begging for me to see it.  I finally did.  This Oscar-nominated Film is, as you probably guessed, the Biopic of Charlie Chaplin.  Sorry, Ben Chaplin.  If you don't know, Chaplin was a world-famous Actor in the Silent Era, a more controversial figure later in life and a target in his latter days.  What's important is that this Film helped show that Robert Downey Jr was more than just some Comic Actor.  Remember him in stuff like Weird Science?  How about Saturday Night Live (in one of the least-liked Seasons ever)?  This is the one that made people stand up and take notice.  If he hadn't all of his personal problems, who knows where he'd be at now?  That's not to say that he hasn't gotten over them and done pretty damn well, of course.  By the way, this was Directed by Richard Attenborough.  To film snobs, he's the guy who made Gandhi.  To 98% of the people in the World, he's 'Richard Hammond' from Jurassic Park.  Does that help?  The question now is this- is the Film as good as people say?  To find out, read on (silently)...

We see young Chaplin getting into showbiz (sort of) quit early as she shows a talent as a child.

He works his way up from the Streets to the Cruise Liner and finally to Film.  Along the way, he loses touch with his ill Mother and a would-be-love-interest.

Instead of just going through the Story- which you can easily look up yourself-, let me talk about who's in this one.  Twenty-years before he'd play Errol Flynn, here is Kevin Kline as Douglas Fairbanks.

Weird, right?

Chaplin's first wife is, well, jail-bait (their words) and she's...Milla Jovovich?!?  Weird.

The Framing Device for this Tale is Chaplin going over the Story with his Ghost Writer played by Anthony Hopkins.  There is your first Marvel connection...although they have yet to meet in a Film.

As time goes by, the Star known as Chaplin tries to get political with The Great Dictator.  This draws the further ire of Herbert Hoover and Americans against getting into the War (in 1936).

Chaplin goes through spouses and Films before making his last one in 1952- Limelight.  This comes during McCarthy's reign of terror in the Senate and his Return Visa is revoked, leaving him exiled from America!

It takes 20 years for him to be able to make a return visit when he's given an Honorary Oscar.  He finally gets respect again at age 83!

The Movie is nice enough to give you a wrap-up for all of the real people and admit that Hopkins was a made-up Plot Device.  That's alright.  The End.

A good Movie- plain as that.  What did you expect me to say?  The thing was Nominated for a few Academy Awards and won a BAFTA or two.  Weirdly, Richard Attenborough wasn't nominated for Best Director and this wasn't up for Best Picture.  Mind you, it was a pretty stacked year- including Unforgiven, Howard's End, Scent of a Woman, The Crying Game and A Few Good Men.  Still an odd omission if you ask me.  To make matters worse, other people in this Film would be in Films that would win the same year!  Hopkins was in Howard's End, which beat Chaplin for Best Art Direction.  This was also the year that Marissa Tomei won Best Supporting Actress for My Cousin Vinny, while also playing a small role here.  This was apparently also the year that they ran a Tribute to Women Montage...while nominating no Female Directors and giving an Oscar to the Film where the Female Lead is revealed to not be a lady (The Crying Game).  I'm just saying.  All of this is mentioned to show how this Film was really good, but apparently came out when people wanted to like everything else better.  It's okay- I still like it alot.  Downey Jr deserves lot of honor for this performance, even if they do make him look like Jon Stewart at one point...

Next up, I take a break from the Avengers-related stuff for Cinco De Mayo.  I found something that combines Texas, Mexico and a (likely) terrible Monster Movie.  Stay tuned...

Twin Piqued: The Man Behind Glass

As the morning sun rises on Saturday, let's take another look at...

This week, revelations, soap opera drama and more questions about who killed Laura Palmer...

Important Stuff

- All of the vague clues point to a mysterious long-haired man.  Thanks to Leland, they have a name- Bob Robertson.  He'd make a great Senator!

- The Teen Detectives alliance is unraveled as Laura's Cousin gets too close to the other's man (because he was avoiding him!).

- Big Ed's Wife wakes up from her coma...and thinks that she's in High School.  Weird.

- Young Ms. Horne is in the clutches of the bad folks at One-Eyed Jacks.  They shoot her up with heroin (and shoot her on Film).  They plan to ransom her...or not.

- Jacques' Brother is convinced that Cooper killed him and plans revenge.

- After dramatically-arriving at just the wrong moment, one Teen Detective goes back to a shut-in she talked to earlier and finds...

Dun dun dun!

Theme(s)

The big theme here is Family.  Consider this...
- Jacques' Brother comes for revenge.  As a bonus, he brings the Sister of Jacks' Madam!
- The daughter of Jacks' secret Owner is being punished now for his deeds.
- Laura's Cousin falls for the same guy that she was dating when she died!

- Leo's wife Shelly won't testify about what he did at the Mill (for the insurance money).
- Leland gives info on Bob on behalf of his dead daughter.

Told you so.

Weird Moment(s)

Nothing quite as weird as Cooper's Space Message (and no follow-up on that yet!), but this guy (who we learn may have knocked up Lucy) was just plain weird.  You win.

Another weird, slow-build Episode.  They introduce some nice little things- like Lucy's sort-of-boyfriend- and some big things.  Obviously the two big things are the plans made over at One-Eyed Jacks and the whole love triangle between the Teen Detectives.  While it ends up bad for James, it does work out well for the mystery.  Why does the shut-in have Laura's diary?  What will it reveal?  How the hell does a one-armed guy shoot up drugs in the bathroom?  Right- different issues.  Seeing the One-Armed Man again is nice and I'm curious to see his connection to Killer Bob.  Like most Episodes, alot of little things are bubbling under the surface.  The Show does a great job of giving you lots of little things that eventually come to fruition.  You just have to keep watching for the pay-off.  Good stuff, guys.  As I continue to avoid as many SPOILERS as possible, please enjoy this lovely homage to the Show courtesy of Clueless...

Next week, the mystery deepens as answers and secrets are revealed.  That's just how this Show works.  See you then.

Immediate Response: Avengers- Age of Ultron

You had to know that I was going.  You had to know that I didn't want to wait.  I didn't...

The Good

* This thing is big, loud and fun when the Action comes.  The money is all on-screen and well-spent.
* The new additions- Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Vision- are all well done.  Each one gets some good moments to shine, even among Cap and company.  Same with the villains.
* Ultron is absolutely brought to life by James Spader.  He really does 'play' the Character, rather than just being a guy you hear doing the voice.  Well done stuff!
* All of the Characters you already know get some nice Arcs and Development.  Cap is still Cap, but isn't white-bread.  The angle with Black Widow and The Hulk is neat too.
* The Humor is a nice addition to a Film with some dark Sub-Plots and overtones.  Good balance.
* Side-note: it is nice to see War Machine back.  No Iron Patriot get-up this time either.
* It is neat to see that key parts of the Plot relate to the ENTIRE History of the Characters like Stark.
* As a personal thing, I like the use of South Korean locations and a Character from there.  It isn't China, so good for them!
* Nice Mid-Credits Teaser.

The Bad

* Not much to complain about here, so....

- Um, I guess Ultron shows up a bit too quickly...maybe.
- I would have liked to see someone from Agents of SHIELD here (but I can accept it just fine).

So yeah, this one is just damn awesome.  No real complaints from me.

I will admit that there is alot for people to catch up on, but the Film does a pretty good job of introducing all of the important stuff.

If you were on the fence, get off.  This one is freaking great!