Tubi Thursday: Mimesis- Nosferatu (2018)

 I had Bob pick a letter- he chose M.  That gave me an excuse to review the 2018 Sequel to a 2011 Film I covered in 20132011 Film I covered in 2013.

Like with Fear of Clowns 2, I was in no rush.

A Cold Open has a woman- Kristy Swanson- is worried about her young son being obsessed with the 1922 Film Nosferatu.

Sure- why not?!?

He shaves his head, puts his fangs in and kills her!

Some vague amount of time later, we see Lance Henriksen talk menacingly.  More on that later.

At Harker University (get it?), a young woman wants to be Mina in the School Play- Dracula, duh- and not Lucy.

Meanwhile, a bunch of folks make themselves up to be a cross between Nosferatu and Goldust.

They even knock their front teeth out to be replaced with rat fangs.

Why?

A man named The Auteur is behind it.

Was he in the other Mimesis Film?  Let me see...No.

He wants to make Art imitate life by having people 'become' Horror Movie Monsters.
Will he face justice?

The Nosferatus...or NosferaTHREE start killing people, while the Play is slowly being prepared.

We also get Obvious Victims to pad this thing out to feature length.

Who will live?  Who will die?

To find out, watch the Film now.

I wanted to like this.  I wanted to tell you that I found a hidden gem.
No such luck.

This is a follow-up to the other Mimesis Film- bringing one Character over and doing little with him- and I still don't know more about this concept.

Why does he want people to act like Vampires?  Why do they?
What did that Intro have to do with anything?

The drama of the Film is about our Heroine and she's fine.  Everyone else is pretty forgettable.  The lead guy is clearly the wrong Age for this- which is kind of a given, no?

I liked Lance here, even if he was just presented on tape.  At least Alec Guiness was there in the car (even if it was 10 years earlier).  It's just a shame that he's in this Film.

Oh well.

A Film that has plenty of potential.  Too bad it looks and feels so cheap- it doesn't help at all.

Immediate Response: Furiosa- A Mad Max Saga

 A few days late on this one, but I made the time.

Should you?

The Good

* The Film has all of the great style, details and world-building you expect from a Mad Max Film.

* The Actresses playing Furiosa (since de-aging Charlize Theron would have been distracting) do a great job.  Anya Taylor-Joy is the main one and she's great at portraying so much with so little dialog.

* Chris Hemsworth is great (again) as a Villain.  His Dementus is pure charismatic chaos.  I really want to see more of him.

* A bunch of new Characters make the established world of Fury Road feel even more full.

* Great Action and Set Pieces- as you'd expect.

The Bad

* We see another son of Immortan Joe here who is absent from Fury Road.  Since he seems to survive here, what happens?

* As good as the double for Immortan Joe is, I can't help but miss the late Actor that played him.  Less nerdy people (and those that didn't rewatch Fury Road in the last 48 hours) won't even notice though.

* The Max Cameo was just kind of there.

* It needed more Doof Warrior.  Every Film does though.

A very enjoyable Film that shows just how good George Miller truly is.  

Will we get more Mad Max any time soon?

My Crazy Youth: The Time That H.G. Wells Wouldn't Let 'Lois & Clark' Consummate Their Marriage

 I spent a whole $1 on this DVD set, so let's get some content out of it!

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman was the first Superman program I saw- for better or worse.

Thankfully, the Animated Series came out soon after to amp things up.

So, this is Season 4 (aka the Final Season), so let's pick out a good Episode.

This one has H.G. Wells...and a Sorcerer?  I'm in!

In 'Soul Mates,' the duo are finally married (after many delays) and now they are ready for a Super Honeymoon.  What could go wrong?

If you guessed 'H.G. Wells shows up,' then you...probably read the Title.

Also you're a bit weird in the head.

Anyhow, he's actually a recurring Character, first showing up in Season 2 and 3.  He'd actually appear once more this Season.

Anyhow, he tells them that Lois will die of a rare disease if she and Clark, well. consummate their marriage.
See- that weird Title wasn't a lie OR exaggeration.

He uses his Time Machine to send all 3 of them back to a past time where the curse- which causes the illness to appear upon consummation- was first placed.

This really is a Silver Age story- just without the consummation.

This version of Time Travel places them in their past bodies- he hand waves away the fact that Superman was born on Krypton, so don't ask- but he's in his own.

I guess his past self didn't exist then?

This puts Clark in the body of a Copyright Free Version of Robin Hood/The Scarlet Pimpernel and Lois as, well, Damsel in Distress.

They theorize that Tempus- also a recurring Character who would show up TWICE more this Season- put the curse on Lois after he lost her hand in marriage.

As such, Clark throw the fight and they return home...to find that Tempus is now King.

If you're wondering how the hell that makes sense, join the club.  Something something evil winning or whatever.

They travel to a more recent time- the Old West.

Clark is another Hero in Disguise (they lamp shade it TBF) and Lois is...another Damsel in Distress.
Sigh.

This time they actually stop Tempus, as well as creating a Causality Paradox when they set up Present Day Jimmy with a girl who he was married to 'in a past life.'

The day is saved and Wells leaves (to return in 11 Episodes as a different Actor).

The pair finally get to get busy as the Episode ends.

That was weird.  That was really weird.

This Episode has...
1) Time Travel
2) A random Sorcerer
3) Past Life Regression

Superman Comics would get pretty weird back in the Silver Age- like when Superman made sure that the Indians sold New York to White Folks or when he lost his virginity to a girl who turned out to be brainwashed by a robot- but this is 1997.

Yes, he's still an Alien that flies and has super powers.  That's pretty standard.

The whole Plot is actually a riff on a different DC Character duo- Hawkman and Hawkgirl.

Their continuity is a mess, but if you just go by the versions from DC's Legends of Tomorrow, you're good.  So, it sure is weird to see Superman and Lois in their exact story, no?

If you want a silly, but fun Episode, this one is it.  I guess they just figured the younger kids were old enough now to see an Episode all built around the conflict of 'Superman and Lois can't have sex unless they stop a villain.'

By the way, if Wells here looked familiar (FYI that Shot I took is also his IMDB Profile Pic), then you likely know him from this...

As I said, it is pretty silly fun, even if the whole conflict could be awkward to explain to your kids.  

Just tell them about the birds and the planes...I mean, bees before this.

Is It Bad?: Waterworld (1995)

 With Mr. Costner in the News these days for his Big Budget Western Opus costing lots of money, let's look at his most famous example of that from 29 years ago.

Waterworld.

It cost LOTS of money.
It was a troubled production.
Its Star took over as Director.

When people point to 'Films that cost too much money to make,' this is always the example.

Is it bad though?

Pro: The Film has a unique feel with its World covered almost entirely in Water.

Nobody has tried this since, at least not without heavy use of CGI to avoid actual water.

Con: Kevin Costner's Mariner is just Mad Max.
I mean...he is.

Pro: Dennis Hopper as the Villain is a delight.  He's not quite as cartoonish in his portrayal here as he was in Super Mario Bros.

That said, he's the butt of more jokes than a normal Hopper Character.

Pro: While outright evil in his execution(s), the Villain is just seeking what everyone else is- Dry Land.

Pro: Some Scenes really hold up- like the Attack on the Floating City Scene.

It was shot for real and the key aspects- like ramps used, for instance- are 100% practical and shown in full.  No shortcuts...

Con: Using the shortcuts would have made the Film cost half as much and been done on time.

Also, some of these Scenes are really chaotic and hard to follow.

Pro: The 'slow chase' nature of the Film is interesting.  It's not like you can hide or anything- it is an Ocean and (looks) flat as hell.

Pro: That's Jack Black as the Pilot that spots them.  Neat.

Pro: With its giant sets (and Ocean), the Film feels grand in scale.

Con: That said, the Plot never goes above 'Bad guy want child.  Good guy save child.'

Plus, Costner's Mariner is pretty insufferable for the first half.

Pro: A big, silly final with explosions, an airship, a big old crash.

A happy ending is nice, ignoring the minor Sequel Bait.

The End.

What's Good?

The Film is a big, epic tale full of explosions and adventure.  The World isn't super-fleshed out, but does feel lived in.

Costner and company do a good job making everything seem real.  The fact that he was unhappy at the time- apparently, he was getting divorced- is often said to weirdly help his portrayal, as he can really pull off annoyed and detached.

You can really see where the money went here, so the infamous Budget isn't just about paying Actor A  $20,000,000 and going from there.

What's Bad?

Ultimately, the Plot is just an inversion of Mad Max (the whole world is Water and there's no sand/dirt).

The Mariner is Mad Max from The Road Warrior- for better or worse.

The Plot is not that deep if you do any digging.  Costner's Mariner does grow and learn to care, but you have to deal with him being awful for quite a while.

So...

Is It Bad?

NO.  

The Film is not exactly deep, but the Film is an enjoyable spectacle that has aged well.

It lives on in a Series of Stunt Shows that still go on at Universal, be it Hollywood or Singapore.

That was a gimme, right?  Let me do some more topical ones in the near future.  Maybe some with Ryan Reynolds...

Streaming Standard: Madame Web (2024)

 A Film derided (in advance) by many.  It didn't do well in Theaters.  It is now on Netflix.

Let's see if this lives up to the non-hype...

In the 1970s, a man betrays a pregnant Scientist in the Amazon.  She is saved by strange people and gives birth to a child.

In 2003, she's an EMT in NYC who doesn't want to really get close to people.

She has a near death experience and starts getting visions of the future at key events.

She's convinced that she can't help people with this...until she sees otherwise.

This leads to her helping out a trio of young ladies targeted by a strange man.

That is Ezekiel.  He's the guy from the beginning.

He's haunted by visions of being killed by the trio sometime in the future.

He uses the then-new NSA Technology to be just the worst Spider-Man.

Can our reluctant Heroine learn to control the new powers that fate has given her?

Can she put up with the teenagers long enough to save them?

Will she learn to manipulate the Web of Life?
Can anyone stop an evil Spider-Man?

More importantly, can this Film overcome your expectations about how bad it is?

To find out, stream it now.

Is this a great Film?  No.
Is this the worst Film of 2024?  I really, really doubt it.

To be fair, so many things were going against this one.  You had the multi-hit combo of post-pandemic theatergoing, 'superhero fatigue,' people hating Sony's attempt at an MCU AND, you know, the fact that it is about 4 ladies.

I'm not going everyone who didn't like this Sexist.  Just so we're clear.

The Film itself is a bit of a slow-goer and is built around Johnson having an Arc of going from Emotionally Detached to Caring, so that means that she's a bit acerbic and/or off-putting early on.  She doesn't quite pull off the Aubrey Plaza/Jenna Ortega level of 'cool and detached' here.

In all fairness, the Marketing was a bit of a cheat here as it highlighted the trio as Superheroines and that is, sadly, a very small part of the Film.  I did like the look and I'm going to be a bit sad if (and it is likely) nothing comes of this for them.

All things said, I enjoyed the Film for doing some thing different.  The Heroine(s) is never as strong as the Villain and planning/strategy is key to even surviving.  The odds are never even.  The future visions are never a complete 'get out of jail free' card either.

I'm sorry to see this one crash and burn, even if it was never going to be amazing.  Just do something with these outfits and Characters please.

A good example of why you really need to give Films a chance.  I can't guarantee that you'll be swayed into liking this one, but I'm also not going to say that it is as bad as you may think.

Tubi Thursday: Teenage Caveman (1958)

 The late Roger Corman made so many Films as both a Director and Producer that I've yet to see them all.

Well, I wanted a quick Film to squeeze into my Schedule, so let's check out...

A young man- Robert Vaughn, who is 26- lives in a Tribe with a bunch of Cavemen (and Women).

However, he's questioning all of the rules.

Don't go past this place?  Why not?
Don't explore?  Why not?
Buy a second shoulder strap or just abandon this top?  Why?!?

This puts him into conflict with his Parents- he's a Nepo Caveman Baby TBF- and some of the other Cavemen.

He 'breaks the law' by exploring and one of the men dies...when he just can't grab a damn stick and sinks in a river.

What will this lead to?

In spite of being given a Wife, he still has to explore.

He confronts the strange creature he saw earlier, while the Tribe comes for him.
A Deus Ex Caveman drops a rock on the creature...

...and it turns out to be a survivor of the Nuclear War.

Yes, they weren't the Caveman you thought they were- they were the survivors of a Nuclear War that reset.

Only a beast (that was actually a man) was keeping them from leaving.

Wait- did Roger Corman make The Village in 1958?!?!?!?!?

***What a twist!***

This is a famously bad Film.  Robert Vaughn hated it.  MST3K covered it in 1991.

I don't...hate it?

It's not great.  I think the Title does it a disservice because Vaughn was one of those guys that looked mature early, so him just 9 years too old to be a 'Teenager' does look worse than it is.

Blame AIP- they changed the Title to sell it to 'the kids these days' (over 60 years ago).

I'm not going to tell you that this Film is amazing.  The semi-Remake sure isn't.  If anything, THAT Film is more dated.

It is pretty cheesy.  The dinosaur effects are laughable and/or Stock Footage.  The way they show Vaughn 'hunt' (he throws something off camera and picks up a stuffed animal) is silly.

The Ending is pretty clever, even if it is heavier handed than that Rockbiter fellow.

That said, there were some good things...

A Film that is really famous for being bad.  That said- it is a bit heavy-handed and slow-paced, but not terrible.  *shrugs*

King Me: Stephen King's The Stand (1994) *Part 2*

 All plans to do this in 4 days like how the Mini-Series ran pretty much ended by the next morning.
That said, let's keep looking at the Mini-Series with Part 2.

To keep up, see the first part the first part here.

Part 2- The Dreams is all about two things.

Introducing New People to our Cast and moving said People to a new location.
That's pretty much it.

So, we get Molly Ringwald leaving home (after Scrubs Dad died) with Definitely Not Her Boyfriend.

The Rock Star goes to New York City (after his Mom died) to see the Waitress we met once.

Instead, he meets Laura San Giacomo (an upgrade, to be fair).
They both leave the city, while she seems seduced by a dark power...

A new Character named Trashcan Man (Matt Frewer in yet another Garris FilmGarris Film).

In typical fashion, he's crazy.  He sets oil reservoirs on fire and is called to Vegas by a strange voice.

Said Voice is that of Randall Flagg, who we next see breaking Miguel Ferrer (who was arrested in Part 1) out of Prison.

He agrees to be Flagg's Lieutenant.

To be fair, I'd follow someone with a mullet that glorious too!

Less glorious are the adventures of Rob Lowe (a deaf mute) and...sigh...Lenny from Of Mice an Men.

He's actually Tom Cullen (played by the man who voices 'Patrick Star') and it's...something.
I'm curious how the 2020 Mini-Series handles him.

They also briefly meet Shawnee Smith (playing a more crazy version of Audrey Horne) too.

Gary Sinise is free of the CDC and meets up with some folks, including Ringwald and Seriously, He's Not Her Boyfriend Guy.

They go to Colorado.

In Vegas, Flagg has assembled a group of Lieutenants, although we only saw the Introduction of Ferrer and Frewer (Not Attorneys at Law).

He's up to...something.

The main group has met up with the Old Lady from their Dreams and go to Colorado.

They see a group of people- including Sinise and company- arrive as Part 2 ends.

Unfortunately, this Part either sinks or swims based on how invested you are in the Characters- especially the new ones.

For me, I'm more interested in the Story and very little progresses here.
Yes, you do need a part in a Story like this where people travel from Point A to Point B.  The trick is to make that part interesting AND/OR make the Characters great.

I don't dislike the Characters- other than the representation of Cullen- but I'm not super-invested in them at this point.

As it is, Part 2 is just them making bigger groups and traveling.

Like I said, it's a necessary part of the Story...but man is it not that interesting.
You have Flagg around and we only get TWO SCENES of him.

Don't worry, we get lots of Cullen, so I get to keep making this face for most of the 90 minutes...

Next up, Part 3 hopefully moves the actual Plot forward and delivers.  I'm giving it a chance!

Shudder-day: Alligator 2- The Mutation (1991)

 If you'd asked me last week if I'd watched this Film, I would have sworn that the answer was 'Yes.'

However, I couldn't find any Review I wrote for it, so let's check out...

It's 1991 in Los Angeles.  Nothing could go wrong.

A famous Cop- nicknamed Solo Lobo by the people- is your usual 'I don't play by the rules' kind of guy.
He's what you would get if you cast Joe Flaherty as Dirty Harry and then had a Comedian rewrite his dialog.

He gets involved when a bunch of mysterious disappearances and later deaths occur.

As luck would have it, his Wife- Dee Wallace- is a Chemist who can help him prove that it is an Alligator!

Said Alligator is a mutated one, thanks to Stock Plot Point #5- Bad Man Dumps Chemicals in Water.

The bad man is Steve Railsback, so that tracks.

Our Hero shoots it with a shotgun and drops a bunch of rubble on it, but nothing stops it!

The Mayor (and Railsback) hire some Alligator Hunters from Louisianna to take out the beast.

The group- led by Richard Lynch!- fail miserably and most of them- including Kane Hodder doing a creole accent- are killed.

Now they want to help out and get revenge!

All attempts to stop the creature from getting to the lake fail.

Railsback hold a big event in spite of the danger- Stock Jaws Plot Point #2- and a big attack (that's mostly POV) ensues.

Many fake outs occur before the creature is finally destroyed.  The End.

A fun Film and surely one that will never be mistaken for fine art.

The Plot is basic, but also full of random little extras.  The corrupt Mayor gets an Arc.  His Daughter gets one.  The Rookie Cop gets ones.

It does random things like cutting to said Cop on a date talking about how his Dad abused him...and never bringing it up again!

The creature here is...mostly not that impressive.  They don't have a full-scale model to show off, so you get POV, shots of a normal Alligator on small stages, brief shots of the head doing chomping and lots of tail action towards the end.

It's probably why they spend so much time on the real villain- Railsback.  Over the course of the Film, he chews the scenery, makes Machiavellian deals and leads to the deaths (sometimes directly) of many.

All in all, the Film is an enjoyable B-Movie that throws in random Character Moments for no clear reason.  That and it features a whole Scene of Wrestlers, which is neat for me (a Wrestling Podcaster) ...

If you go into this with the right expectations, you'll have a good time.  If you're expecting more from a Film like this...are you Martin Scorsese?!?