My Crazy Youth: The Time That H.G. Wells Wouldn't Let 'Lois & Clark' Consummate Their Marriage

 I spent a whole $1 on this DVD set, so let's get some content out of it!

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman was the first Superman program I saw- for better or worse.

Thankfully, the Animated Series came out soon after to amp things up.

So, this is Season 4 (aka the Final Season), so let's pick out a good Episode.

This one has H.G. Wells...and a Sorcerer?  I'm in!

In 'Soul Mates,' the duo are finally married (after many delays) and now they are ready for a Super Honeymoon.  What could go wrong?

If you guessed 'H.G. Wells shows up,' then you...probably read the Title.

Also you're a bit weird in the head.

Anyhow, he's actually a recurring Character, first showing up in Season 2 and 3.  He'd actually appear once more this Season.

Anyhow, he tells them that Lois will die of a rare disease if she and Clark, well. consummate their marriage.
See- that weird Title wasn't a lie OR exaggeration.

He uses his Time Machine to send all 3 of them back to a past time where the curse- which causes the illness to appear upon consummation- was first placed.

This really is a Silver Age story- just without the consummationwithout the consummation.

This version of Time Travel places them in their past bodies- he hand waves away the fact that Superman was born on Krypton, so don't ask- but he's in his own.

I guess his past self didn't exist then?

This puts Clark in the body of a Copyright Free Version of Robin Hood/The Scarlet Pimpernel and Lois as, well, Damsel in Distress.

They theorize that Tempus- also a recurring Character who would show up TWICE more this Season- put the curse on Lois after he lost her hand in marriage.

As such, Clark throw the fight and they return home...to find that Tempus is now King.

If you're wondering how the hell that makes sense, join the club.  Something something evil winning or whatever.

They travel to a more recent time- the Old West.

Clark is another Hero in Disguise (they lamp shade it TBF) and Lois is...another Damsel in Distress.
Sigh.

This time they actually stop Tempus, as well as creating a Causality Paradox when they set up Present Day Jimmy with a girl who he was married to 'in a past life.'

The day is saved and Wells leaves (to return in 11 Episodes as a different Actor).

The pair finally get to get busy as the Episode ends.

That was weird.  That was really weird.

This Episode has...
1) Time Travel
2) A random Sorcerer
3) Past Life Regression

Superman Comics would get pretty weird back in the Silver Age- like when Superman made sure that the Indians sold New York to White Folks or when he lost his virginity to a girl who turned out to be brainwashed by a robot- but this is 1997.

Yes, he's still an Alien that flies and has super powers.  That's pretty standard.

The whole Plot is actually a riff on a different DC Character duo- Hawkman and Hawkgirl.

Their continuity is a mess, but if you just go by the versions from DC's Legends of Tomorrow, you're good.  So, it sure is weird to see Superman and Lois in their exact story, no?

If you want a silly, but fun Episode, this one is it.  I guess they just figured the younger kids were old enough now to see an Episode all built around the conflict of 'Superman and Lois can't have sex unless they stop a villain.'

By the way, if Wells here looked familiar (FYI that Shot I took is also his IMDB Profile Pic), then you likely know him from this...

As I said, it is pretty silly fun, even if the whole conflict could be awkward to explain to your kids.  

Just tell them about the birds and the planes...I mean, bees before this.