That damned Monkey's Paw is at work again. Hollywood gets a successful non-Marvel Franchise...but it is Fast & Furious.
As the 10th (of possibly 12) Film comes out today, let's shift back to the last one from 2021.
Do you like explosions?
If so, then you'll love...a prolonged Flashback to Dom's origin as a kid back in the late '80s, complete with Young Dom who is the wrong ethnicity and looks nothing like young Vin Diesel.
Our Heroes leave their kid behind- he's literally not seen again until the end of the Film- to go try to rescue Mr. Nobody.
Instead, they find Military MacGuffin #289.
I can't say that the Film isn't educational. For instance, I know that 'Peligroso Minas' is Spanish for 'Oh S**t, there's Mines!'
I also learned that if you drive fast enough, they won't blow up under your wheels.
Calling Mythbusters...
Our Villain is Jakob, played by John Cena. He's Dom's younger Brother.
Sorry- I can't take that seriously, can you?!?
I love Cena, but...really?!?
The Film has really weird pacing too.
As an example, after we learn about Jakob, the group splits up.
They only need to find the other piece of the thing and a 'key,' but they go across the globe (from Japan to Sweden to Los Angeles to London) in like 2 days.
Did we need Dom and Helen Mirren? I guess 'yes?'
Did we need Dom and Helen Mirren? I guess 'yes?'
Wanna focus up, Film?
I hear you- you want EVEN MORE FLASHBACKS.
We even get them after a big Action Scene, as we get the bonus of Dom seeing them in, I guess, a near death experience. Yeah, someone can kill him. HAHAHAHA.
We eventually get the setup for the finale, which feels like it should have happened an hour ago.
Also Han is alive. Thanks for the SPOILER, Trailers!
Can they stop a big old truck from doing something something with the MacGuffin they now have?
Will Jakob stay evil (even though we know from the Fast 10 Trailers that he's good now)?
To find out, stream the Film now. It's on Peacock, if you're curious.
A long, silly Film. Look at the Title- F9: The Fast Saga. How pretentious is that?!?
This all began with a very blatant copy of Point Break and now is a Saga? Really?
The Plot is a mishmash of melodrama and ridiculous (but usually fun) Action Scenes. In this Film, the new toy is Magnets. They know sort of how they work and use them in ridiculous ways. Could you really 'throw' cars with a magnet?
Yes, they lamp shade it with a line about 'never seeing a magnet this strong before.' That doesn't change HOW magnets work, of course.
Have I mentioned how ponderous I found all of the Dom Flashback stuff enough yet? One more. Okay. Seriously, I do get the idea of filling in his origin, but why now? Why is it so boring? Why did you get Michael Rooker for TWO SCENES and that's it? Why does Young Dom look nothing like Dom?
All of my complaints aside, this Film made over $700 million in the post-COVID Lockdown Theater Reopening, so clearly someone wanted to see this thing reach for the Stars...
A truly Epic Film...in someone's mind. It's allot of bollocks that will entertain fans of the spectacle...between all of the boring, sudden backstory.
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