An Italian Film set in America- these always feel authentic. Enzo G. Castellari is back with a Cop Film with a gory twist.
A mad man is threatening San Francisco with a curious and deadly weapon. His plan- get money. You could just sell the thing to- off the top of my head- China, Iran, Iraq or North Korea.
Can a Cop- who's not a CHiP anymore- save the day? I don't want to SPOIL the reason that this Film is known just yet.
To get blasted by that light, read on...
There's more to this Scene in the next Poor Bastards of Cinema.
This oddly gets almost no attention in the Film. Weird, right?!?
A Cop- Erik Estrada- breaks up a Hostage Situation in the most logical way...
1) Strip down to Speedo
2) Hide gun in a turkey
3) Kill bad guys
I have no notes!
The Scientist announces that he will make an attack- again, they somehow missed the melted trains- and does it at a Stunt Car Show.
He blows up (and also melts) the Press Box.
More Poor Bastards of Cinema fodder.
He manages to escape- by precise shooting- and now Estrada must work the case.
A Lead is killed (too Plot-related to be a Poor Bastard) and he tracks a possible bad guy to a Funeral Parlor.
He gets in a fight with somebody who, I think, is a bad guy.
It's oddly unclear.
The bad guy eventually tracks down our Hero- after another attempt to catch him fails miserably- and, in the process, the goons kill his girlfriend.
He didn't have a black best friend, so she was doomed for sure!
He didn't have a black best friend, so she was doomed for sure!
On the plus side, the duo married IRL...for 4 years.
He finally tracks down the bad guy, leading to a shootout with some goons.
Hey, remember when this was about a laser weapon?!?
Also, in case this is your first movie ever, him parking right next to that machine does pay off later.
Specifically, it pays off with him nearly killing another Stunt Man.
Nobody died, but allegedly eight were injured- mostly in the Rome portion of the shoot.
He chases the bad guy down after taking...a dune buggy or some kind (I think).
They have a San Francisco Car Chase which leads them back to the boat where the bad guy was hiding.
Our Hero accidentally stops the villain by, get this, simply landing the car on the boat.
No, really.
No, really.
It somehow shakes the base holding the laser and it moves across the room until the beam hits the guy's...LCD watch and melts him...but doesn't blow up the boat or the room.
Our Hero kills the henchman, sees the body and...oh, no resolution. Just cut to Credits.
A pretty dumb, but enjoyable Film. That said, the high points are sadly sparser than you'd hope for.
The ridiculous and graphic melting people effects- which I'll highlight in the Poor Bastards segments- are the highlight of the Film. They're dumb. They're crazy.
I love them.
I love them.
That said, there's only like 3 of them in the Film. Aw.
The rest of the Film is notable for the crazy stunts- again, 8 people got injured-, explosions, shoot-outs and the like. So the rest of the Film around the melting people isn't dull- it's simply not as interesting.
Estrada is alright here, but nothing special. The villain can be fun, although he sounds like he's dubbed.
Again- if you're watching Light Blast, you're here for the light blasting. It just needed more.
Hey Hollywood- Remake this one with, like, 400% more light blasting. That way you won't need THREE DIFFERENT Explosives Experts for all of the, you know, explosions.
Next up, let's move back to the '90s for an underappreciated attempt at a Superhero Film Franchise. Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of my DVD?!? Stay tuned...
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