Thursday, September 15, 2022

Tubi Thursday: Curse of the Kraken (2020)

 We're back in the land of Human Rights Violations and, apparently, Asylum-level Creature Features.

Let's check out...

In the Cold Open, we meet a bunch of random people on a Beach.

A Sea Monster- which has tentacles, but also a soft shell like a crab.  
Say good-bye to that guy, however, as we don't get to see the title creature for...a while.

Instead, meet this Ship full of people.

One of them is attacked by the creature's tendril and mutated into a parkour-doing mutant man.
Pirates enter the picture and kill a few Crew Members before taking our Heroes to a nearby Island.

All of a sudden, a 2-Headed Shark appears, seeming to fly at them!
It's killed by the mostly-off-screen Kraken and never spoken of again.  Sigh.

In its place, we have prolonged Scenes of the same mutated Crew Member wiping out the Pirates and some of his former friends.

Between this and, no joke, killer beetles, there sure isn't much Kraken in this one.  Is that the Curse?
For the big finale, they draw the creature out...and then run away...to fight it in the next Scene.  Huh?

More of them die, but they manage to burn the creature...which is not enough.

Can they defeat it?  To find out, stream the Film.
A weird disappointment on many levels.  There's a reason I compare these Films- which includes Land Shark- to the works of The Asylum.  It's not great.

The idea could work.  I love cheesy Movies.  I love Monster Movies.  I clearly watch ALOT of Foreign Films.

This Film, however, is alot of bait & switch.  They introduce a neat- if obviously-fake- monster- and then make 60% of the Film about Pirates, bugs and a single, mutated man.  Why not multiple mutants?  Did you only have one mask?

Like Land Shark, it is treated 100% seriously.  Unlike that Film, it is made up entirely of pathos, trying to force you to care about one of the 15 people who was just killed.  Oh no, not zzzzz...huh?  What happened?

Curse of the Kraken is like 1/8 of a good Film with random filler, weird melodrama and just an odd focus.  It's also, wait, for it, 69 minutes long.
Tubi has a weird background 'feature' on my Computer.  Sorry.

A surprisingly-dull and melodramatic Film.  It has moments...but you have to slog through alot for them.

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