Thursday, April 29, 2021

Rare Flix: Michael Allred's G-Men From Hell

 A Comic Book Film that I've never heard of- is that possible?  Well, yes.  This is G-Men From Hell, a 2000 Film based on a Michael Allred Comic.  That might be the key thing- I don't follow his work that much.  I have one Deadman Comic Set and known him from X-Statix, but that's it.  So what is it about?  Well, the name says it all- mostly.  A pair of G-Men (read: FBI Agents) are killed and end up in Hell.  As the Title suggests, they don't stay there.  Can they work as Private Detectives, do some good deeds and earn their way back into Heaven?  The Film has a Cast so random that it feels like Casting was done via a dart board.  Zach Galligan and Gary Busey- sure.  William Forsythe and Tate Donovan- alright.  Bobcat Goldthwait- hmm.   Who else you got?!?  Vanessa Angel, Character Tom Huddleston and the voice of Roger Rabbit- why the hell not?!?  Oh and Robert Goulet (in his last Film Role) as The Devil.  This is just plain weird, so let's just dive right in...

In a move that is either clever or cheap as hell, the Intro is shown entirely with the Comic Book Panels.

It was fun when Tank Girl did it intermittently, but this is the OPENING SCENE!
They escape from Hell via a magic gem and go to Earth to become Detectives.

In the process, they kill a bad guy- Bobcat.  Don't worry, he gets better- kind of.
Even though they barely-covered their crime, we need 2 mismatched Detectives- Galligan and Busey- on the case.

Why not?
They get hired by a woman- Angel- who they met earlier when they escaped from Hell and appeared in her Bathtub.  No, it doesn't make sense.
Meanwhile, a Mad Scientist- Huddleston- turns Bobcat into a Robot Doom Patrol-style and he wants revenge.

He's not very good at revenge.
As the case goes sour (when Angel's old Husband is killed and they are suspects), things manage to get worse when The Devil comes calling.

They have 40 hours to return the gem...or else!

Mind you, they were just in Hell, so what exactly are you threatening them with?
The case is complicated by a few diversions...

1) Busey and Galligan's questions
2) A Cat-themed would-be Superhero
3) Robo-Bobcat's revenge attempt
4) The Doctor's Henchman (Charles Fleischer) stealing the Husband's body.
After more antics, they bring every person together to find out who the killer was.

Was it the Doctor?  Was it the Catman?  Was it Angel?

Nope- it was Fleischer's Puppet, who was actually the first soul transfer made by the Doctor.  He did it to get a real body- the dead old man's.
The Devil shows up, gets his gem back and just kind of wraps things up in an invented Deus Ex Machina so abrupt that you don't even realize that Busey is missing from the climax.

Angel and Tate go on a Date, while Forsythe and the Assistant (who was so unimportant that she was unmentioned until now) go out too.  The End.
It's...alot.  The whole thing doesn't have much actual Plot, but it has plenty of Sub Plots fighting for time.  Do you follow the Catman story?  What about the Mad Scientist/Bobcat's Story?  How about the rival Demon/Comic Relief (Paul Rodriguez)?  How about that random Scene at the beginning where The Devil goes to Therapy that has no follow-up?  People often joke that some Plots/Scripts are written by using a dart board to pick the Plot Points.  In this case, a drunken man threw all of the darts and used every card that he hit.  So many things are just here to be here.  This feels more like a TV Pilot, but as far as I know, it is not.  This Plot is left so open that it feels like you should get a 'Join Us Next Week' Teaser at the end.  They don't wrap up the whole 'do good deeds to get to Heaven' thing.  Allred's Style is pretty quirky and this is no exception.  I think the problem for me is that as much as Forsythe and Tate play it straight, it's all too goofy and not anchored in any reality.  The Film also came out after Allred hit it big in the late '90s (doing work for Mallrats and Chasing Amy)...but before he really hit it big in 2001 with X-Statix.  That's probably why it was previewed in 2000...and released in 2002.  It's not quite as funny as it thinks and it isn't quite as interesting as it should be.  At least Goulet has some real style here.

Next time, I go back to cover a Film I just plain forgot about.  It's not good when I review it over 6 weeks after I saw it, is it?  Stay tuned...

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