Thursday, August 27, 2020

Italian '80s Trash: Shocking Dark (aka Terminator 2) (1989)

 I'm not entirely sure what is shocking about this.  This is Shocking Dark, an infamous 1989 Film from Bruno Mattei.  If America made a Hit Film, he could make a knock-off.  He made Great White when Jaws was a hit.  He made Robowar when Predator was a hit.  He made Strike Commando when Rambo: First Blood, Part 2 was a hit (with the same Lead!).  In this case, he made a double-knock off- a rare treat.  For historical purposes, his Terminator II was the first one to come out.  So are the numbers in the famous Film Franchise wrong?  Of course not!  Besides, what kind of number is Genisys anyhow?  So if you like Deja Vu and James Cameron too, this one is a silly treat.  The Cast is mostly Italian B-Movie Players, although the Lead Actress only has THIS on her Resume.  Ouch.  Of course, the Writer is far more famous- Claudio Fragrasso.  Yes, the man behind the famous Troll 2 is here for Terminator II- naturally.  The Plot involves pollution in Venice, a dark future, dark tunnels and lots of terrible people.  To find out if anything proves to be shocking in the dark, read on...

In the future, Venice is dealing with pollution in its water and a rising Sea Level.  I'm waiting for the Sci-Fi part.

Oh right- some strange creature killing people in the Tunnels.
When there is trouble, they send in the best, the brightest...and the most Racist.

Seriously, they engage in random ethnic slurs to...build conflict?  Our Not Private Vasquez here is the worst culprit of that.

On the plus side, her Actress- Geretta Geretta- was in Demons.
The ragtag group- which also includes a representative of the Tubular Corporation (no joke) and Not Ripley- try to find survivors, but only find this guy who screams so loud it hurts.

If you want an explanation for how he does this, you're watching the wrong Movie.
The creatures turn out to be these...terrifying (?) things.  
I'm sure H.R. Giger is rolling his eyes.

Hell, the guy behind the Humanoids from the Deep costumes is probably doing it too!
The guy from *heh* the Tubular Corporation is holding a big secret as they work through the base.

I mean, it's an Alien (rip-off) Film, so he's probably going to be revealed as a Robot/Android.
Seriously, it's a thing.
If there was still any doubt that this Film about Marines in tight corridors battling alien-looking creatures alongside Not Ripley wasn't based on Aliens, here's the little girl.

80% of her lines- especially by the end- just involve shouting 'Sara!' (aka Not Ripley).  She in-turn shouts 'Samantha!'
They eventually discover that one of the Scientists was making creatures that could copy, adapt to and take over other life forms.

Naturally, it just turns them all into the same silly-looking bastards.  Science!

The Not Aliens prove to be too much for most of the Marines, including the Racist one.  No...stop...don't.

As it turns out, the obvious Robot guy is a Robot.  Oh no!  What a shock.

Now here's were things get really, really odd...

Sara! and Samantha! escape the Facility via...Time Capsules.  Way to set that up, Film!

Of course, the Robot escapes in another and they have to kill him in modern-day Venice.  Now it's Terminator.  The End.
A silly, but fun time.  Is this Film good?  I mean, no.  It is a Bruno Mattei Film that rips off Aliens and The Terminator.  It is about water impurities in Venice that leads to Mutants.  It randomly throws in Time Travel in the 3rd Act.  Its Effects are pretty basic and silly.  So yeah, it's not good.  That said, it is pure fun.  The Acting is pretty bad.  You can probably blame alot of it on the Dubbing.  Even without that caveat, it is pretty bad.  The Special Effects are capable, but cheesy.  The Film- minus the early Character Racism and bickering- is fun.  They keep things moving and getting sillier.  The sudden turn to 'Now this is about a killer Robot' is great too for all of the wrong reasons.  It isn't shocking, other than how this got past the Lawyers.  It is dark though- to hide the cheap effects- so I guess it is what they advertised...

Next time, I look at the oft-forgotten Sequel to a '70s Classic (blunder).  With 10 years to improve, did they even try?  Stay tuned...

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