'60s Trash: Dr. Terror's Gallery of Horror [aka Gallery of Horrors](1967)

A copy is almost never as good as the original.  This is Dr. Terror's Gallery of Horrors, a 1967 Horror Anthology Film with a familiar Title.  This comes to us from David L. Hewitt, an Auteur with a very dubious Resume.  Among his works, you have Monsters Crash the Pajama Party, The Wizard of Mars and The Mighty Gorga- all true Classics.  The Writer of the Stories here allegedly considered selling these Stories to the people behind Dr. Terror's House of Horrors.  I don't know why it didn't happen, but he got his in this Film instead.  Talk about your Silver Medals- no offense to Silver.  This is a collection of mostly-silly Stories with a tiny Cast and even smaller Budget.  The alleged Budget for House was around $100,000.  This one's Budget was less than $30,000.  As a reminder, the other Film featured Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee and a young Donald Sutherland, among others.  This Film features John Carradine- in one segment and as Host- and Lon Chaney Jr.  To note, they don't call Carradine anything like 'Dr. Terror' in this one.  That might have something to do with this Film being released under a number of different Titles.  The list includes the following: The Witches Clock (one of the segments too), The Blood Suckers, Alien Massacre and Return of the Past.  One last thing to note is that the Cast is super-tiny and most Actors appear in multiple Stories.  It could be clever...if they were good.  They aren't.  Instead of getting a one-and-done with bad Actors, they just keep...showing...up.  This one is a chore, but also kind of funny for it.  To find out how bad (and good) this can be, read on...

Not Dr. Terror here is John Carradine, who is here to monologue about nothing for five minutes in front of a still shot of the Castle from numerous Roger Corman Film.

It was nice of him to stop en route to the Opera to intro all of the Segments.

In 'The Witches Clock,' a young Couple (Roger Gentry and Karen Joy) move into an old Mansion to write in privacy.  This is immediately-interrupted by the arrival of Carradine, who moves in as a Caretaker.

It all ends in a confusing explosion related to the titular Clock and a new owner...with Carradine showing up.

Why is it The Witches Clock and not either The Witch's Clock or The Witches' Clock?

'King Vampire' tells the tale of London under siege by a strange killer.  It's not quite Jack the Ripper, though it gives enough of those vibes to make this Film connect back to a recent one.

No, the killer drains the blood of his victim and is called 'King Vampire' by the Press.

After alot of nothing, we see the new Detective fail to solve the case and leave.  Right before that, he posits that the killer may be female...and she was.  The Police Chief's Secretary was 'the King' all along...

In the confusingly-titled 'Monster Raid,' we hear the tale of a Scientist who planned to do something with monster blood...or something.

He drones non-stop over Stock Footage from a Roger Corman Film and that is intermixed with Flashback footage of his Wife and Friend (Roger Gentry in his 3rd Role so far) betraying him for his secrets.

He finally shows up and...yea?

In 'Spark of Life,' Dr. Mendell (Lon Chaney in his 6th-to-last Film) plays a Doctor obsessed with continuing Dr. Frankenstein's work.  He gets the help of two young Doctors (one of whom is Gentry, again).

He succeeds, but they picked a known killer to revive.  What do they do?

Mendell is left to re-kill the patient, but apparently was killed off-screen...somehow and the real killer sneaks up on the Doctors.

In 'Count Dracula,' we get a slight riff on that classic tale.

Harker shows up and stays the night, but scares away a Bride of Dracula.  Confusingly, that is Lucy...somehow and Harker joins the mob to kill her.  However, the one who sired her is not there.

Harker returns to Dracula and tells him that he knows his secret.  Before Dracula can strike, however, Harker reveals that he was a Werewolf the whole time and attacks!

Oh and there's no follow-up or B-Story.  The Film just ends.

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Wow, what a silly, silly Film.  The whole thing is a very tenuous way to connect a bunch of Stories.  It is funny to see how they tried just the wrong amount too.  If you just set up a basic Framing Device (someone forced to watch by a Mad Doctor, for instance) or make a full story (see House, as mentioned), this can work.  They somehow try too hard- by including all of these Lead-Ins and not hard enough, since the Lead-Ins build to nothing.  It reminds a bit of Curse of Bigfoot, which first features an unseen Narrator for the first 1/3.  That's fine.  However, we then SEE the Narrator- a Teacher- and get someone else telling a Story to the Classroom (excuse to show an old Film).  That Film also famously does not cut back to the Classroom or anything, so what was the point?  He's there to 'add class' to the whole thing.  I'd say it is like putting gold flakes on a TV Dinner, but it is more like putting gold-colored pieces of paper on a TV Dinner, given Carradine's 'do anything for money' stance at the time.  'Class' was gone a long time before this one.  There are two big, big problems with this one.  First, the Budget is so small that barely anything looks good.  The Interiors in the first and last segment are alright, but that's it.  I should also mention that this Film was shot in 5 days!  So, that means that even if they had the $100,000, the odds of them making it look as good as House did is pretty unlikely.  The other big problem is the Acting.  Roger Gentry- to highlight/pick on one guy- was not good in the first segment, feeling stiff and unnatural.  The fact that he shows up THREE MORE TIMES (as a Lead in 2, no less) is rough.  That said, there's a real unintentional Comedy aspect to the Film.  It is just on the right side of 'so bad it is good.'  The twists in most Stories are silly, but usually fun.  This is prime material for someone like Rifftrax!  In the meantime, you can 'enjoy' this trashy, silly 'classic' on Tubi or look for crazy old VHS Releases like this...

Next time, I return to Blood Island.  I mean, if they made three of them, I'm obliged to keep going, right?  Stay tuned...