Quick Reviews: The Meg (2018)

Family Guy Joke!  With that out of the way, let's talk about the other Ocean-based Film designed to make million in China from 2018...

A man (Jason Statham), a Shark, China.  That doesn't read the same forwards and backwards, but it is a quick summary of this Film.

Basically, we discover a hidden world where giant monsters live...and immediately go wandering in.  That's the right expression.

Their venture brings the titular creature to the Surface and now it wants to eat us.

Please ignore all the Scientists who will tell you this this couldn't survive, would be much tinier, would glow (which it did in the Book) and would no doubt be blinded by the Sun.

With a giant Shark on the loose, is anyone safe?

Surprisingly, yes as the Film has very little carnage to keep that PG-13 Rating.  Also no Gay Characters, since China.

Oh and this little girl is here to shoe-in a love-triangle Sub-Plot.  That alongside one with the Billionaire and ALSO one where a guy gets over hating Jonas.

Giant Shark 1, Sub-Plots 3.

Can they stop the titular Shark?  Can they do it without calling in the Chinese Navy (since that would be too far for the American Producers?)?

Who cares- it made over $300 Million in China and other territories.  That's good...until you realize that a Chinese Yuan is worth 15 cents on the Dollar.

Didn't think you'd learn Exchange Rates today, did you?  The End.

A Movie that should be good fun.  The problem- someone thought that this was a Drama!  As such, everyone acts super-sad and serious all the time!  On one hand, I have to congratulate many of the Actors for doing a good job at that.  On the other hand, THIS IS ABOUT A 75-FOOT SHARK EATING PEOPLE!!!  They take this this way too seriously!  You want to be sad when people die?  Fine.  Don't be so dour that I can't enjoy anything that should be interesting and fun though!  At best, it is someone trying in vain to elevate such silly material.  At worst, it is someone ruining a perfectly-fun premise.  Just a reminder- the Book begins with a Megalodon eating a T-Rex (see below)!  It ends with a man piloting a Submarine inside of a Shark and blowing it up!  This is not Citizen Kane.  The Film is not good enough to be a good Drama.  The Film is not fun enough to be fun Adventure.  It's an awkward mix of Drama and Action-Adventure that just doesn't work like it should.  This should be fun.  This should be interesting.  China is going to no doubt fund another one- learn how to do it better next time!  Seriously, look at this Cover!!!

A Movie that is sometimes fun, but has some obvious issues.  The biggest- it's too self-serious!!!