Quick Reviews: Jurassic World- Fallen Kingdom

Thanks to the miracles of Cable and DVR Service, I got to finally watch this thing.  Is it as bad as everyone says?  Let's see...

In the wake of the Park's closing, a new entrepreneur is driven by his Granddaughter's love of Dinosaurs to save them from the Island.  You see...

The Volcano is finally erupting, so there's nothing to do but run.

Yes, this means that a Billionaire put a Dinosaur Park on an Island with a dormant volcano.  What an idiot!

This Act of the Film also tries to make it a bit of a Horror Film, just with Dinosaurs in place of Jason.  It's...a weird feel, to say the least.

As things get bad back on land, the Film does two big (to some degree) retcons.

1) Blue is now suddenly the super-smart, pack Leader.
2) Blue now feels empathy and seems to actually *love* Owen, as opposed to respect him.

Without SPOILing too many of the Film's obvious twists, I can tell you that they spend ALL OF THE THIRD ACT in a House with a Dinosaur or two.  Yea?

Can they stop a madman's evil (and silly) plans?  Can they escape the House?  Is this just Dino Crisis now?

To find out, watch the Film- now on Cable, Streaming and DVD/Blu-Ray.

Dumb, random stuff.  What is this Movie and who is it for?  Is it an Action Film designed to show off giant, CG Dinosaurs?  Is it a Horror Film designed to show off smaller, CG Dinosaurs?  Is it a Drama about how all Animals should be saved and respected?  Is it a buddy Film about Owen and some new Characters?  Is it a Political Allegory for the evolution of the Military Industrial Complex?  The whole Film is random and all over the map!  The parts on the Island are kind of neat.  It's too bad that the obvious twist- that the helpers aren't good- comes too early and leaves them little to work with.  Oh and it's blatantly a rehash of The Lost World (the last time they did a direct Jurassic Park Sequel).  Seriously, it's so freaking redundant!!!  Could you have tried just a little bit harder, Colin Trevorrow?  Actually, I saw The Book of Henry, so I know the answer to that!  To be fair, the Special Effects look great.  There is a nice mix of Dinosaurs and the Set Pieces are generally pretty darn good.  That said, the Plot is a big old mess and I can't look past it.  It also sets up a bizarre third Film that is guaranteed to come (since this Film broke a Billion).  That said, the Film did less than the first one- in a more competitive time- so here's hoping that they manage it better.  A good Jurassic Park Sequel is a rare thing- kind of like seeing Practical Effects.

Easily the silliest and most erratic Film in the Franchise.  It is preachy, dramatic, trying to be scary, vaguely-political and just plain dumb at times.