Saturday, February 22, 2014

Moon Over Miami: Decadent Evil II

A film so bad that a man who almost never says 'No' to a role turned it down.  Good for you, Phil Fondacaro.  That's right- it's Full Moon again.  My love-hate relationship with the puppet-obsessed film company continues.  I don't hate them for trying to make Horror Movies.  I hate them for making almost-always-shit Horror Movies.  That make sense?  Today's film is Decadent Evil II, a film whose title still makes no sense.  I mean, is there a Principled Evil or Ethical Evil that I'm not aware of.  Is that when you molest Priests who got away with molesting their Altar Boys?  Is that when you lynch old White Supremacists?  I got a million of em!  If you want to know what happened in the original film, go here.  For those of you who are too lazy to click on the obvious link, I will give a brief summary below.  To find out if the second time is the opposite of the charm, read on...
Here's a rundown of what happened in the first film...

* There are Vampires.  They own Strip Clubs, since...boobs.
* Phil appears as a midget Vampire Hunter since...funny?
* He kills all of the Vampires, save for one, but dies in the process.
* The remaining Vampire turns good- since she's in love with a human- and plans to revive Phil.  This is the last time you'll actually see him.  Good for you.
Our pair are apparently following Phil's cross- acting as a divining rod- to find the Head Vampire.  They apparently need his blood to revive Phil, since...Plot Point.  This leads them to Arkansas, although I doubt that they actually shot there.

I actually have been to Hope, Arkansas (Bill Clinton's home town) and there were only like five vampires- tops!
It leads them to a Strip Club (naturally!), but they lose the cross.  Without it, they are able to pad the run-time out by having the pair work at the place.

Oh and Phil's dad- the Homunculus puppet- is along for the ride.  A Puppet in a Full Moon Film- shut the hell up!!!
This freaky Vampire dude- who looks like a cross between the villain in Slayer and The Asylum's random Devil vampire- is on the loose and apparently has to hit the exact number of 10,000 people killed to be *more* Immortal.

Sure- why not?
Seriously, why include this Puppet?  It adds nothing.  At all.
Over half-way through the film, they finally get some blood and revive Phil's character.  He's now played by...this guy.  No comment.

Oh and he acts justifiably-upset that they have revived him as a Vampire.  Can you imagine that happening to Van Helsing?
This all leads to a showdown at some big Ceremony.  The Vampire Lord- who turns out to be the Janitor in disguise, if you care- needs just one more sacrifice for the super-whatever-who-cares.
Not-Phil shows up and turns the tide with his ability to throw a stake with pin-point accuracy from about 40 yards.  In the last film, he had *literally* one trick, so...good for you.  You're still not Phil though.
The Vampire Lord and all but one of the bad guys are killed.  The day is saved, well, except for the fact that Not-Phil is now a Vampire and his dad is still a Homunculus.  Speaking of which...

The film ends on a *high* note by having the lone surviving Vampire girl being raped by the Homunculus.  Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.  The End.
Man, this one was not good.  Sorry to any Full Moon fans out there, but I have to speak the truth.  The story- barely there.  The driving force is literally just 'find the head Vampire' and that's it.  The forward momentum is barely pushing the so-called Story.  The Acting- not that good.  Nobody is really bad per se, but nobody stands out.  Some people come off as a bit hammy though.  The Effects- so-so.  I will give them some credit for the practical effects.  I'm always a big fan of those, provided that they don't impede upon the action.  Good suits are only good if the creature looks real and can move in a remotely-normal way.  I will also say that there is a limited number of bad CG Effects here.  That's not because there are many good ones- it's just that there are so few CG Effects at all.  I'd look like a giant hypocrite to complain about a relative lack of CG, so I won't.  The big issue is the lack of action and excitement.  This film is like 80% build-up.  They try to pretend that more is happening by having a pair of random women get killed, but this adds nothing.  In the End, this is a pretty unnecessary Sequel to a film that wasn't that great before.  The fact that it took me so long to get around to this (as it was OOP and I bought it up cheap) should tell you something.  This film just leads to one place: the Toilet...
Next up, I begin a new (and short) Round of Project Terrible with Troma.  If it guarantees to be Demented, I'm in for 'a good time.'

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