Friday, February 20, 2009

Disembodied heads of Cinema (Part 1)

Top Twelve Disembodied Heads in Cinema

12. They Saved Hitler's Brain: They should not have bothered. It is not until late in the film, which is odd when you consider the title, that the thing makes an appearance. Of course, you could just watch the DVD menu where it is on a constant loop. A really, really annoying loop that is far too loud. Also to note, they saved his entire head and not just the brain. This titular error will be seen later as well. Old Adolf does nothing in the film, save for be moved from one jar to another. It sort of makes you wonder why they saved it, since they have no plans for it. Now you know why you have never heard of this movie.

11. Mars Attacks: Tim Burton shows up on here quite a bit. In this fun, but highly-flawed film, the aliens from the eponymous planet commit many experiments on humans. They take two humans- Remington Steele and Patty Green- and a dog & decide to play 52 pick-up The lady's head ends up on the dog's body, which does nothing to satiate the man's attraction. Only in a Burton film- thank God. You also get a case of inverted decapitation. That's when the body is destroyed and only the head remains. There- you just learned something.

10. Sleepy Hollow: A story about severed heads somehow ends up on this list. Whether you go with the original animate film from 1949 or the 1999 live-action film, it is a solid choice. Any film where you get Christopher Walken's shark-toothed face is a winner. As the killer goes about decapitating everyone, only a wannabe-detective who faints more than a 1950's science-fiction starlet can stop him. Yeah, a lot of people die. If you ever wanted to see the Principal from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" get killed, this is your movie.


9. The Brain that Wouldn't Die: If I ever get my head cut off, don't keep me in a jar, please. A scientist does just that to his wife's head after a car accident. This leaves her sullen, angry and talking a bit like Christian Bale's Batman. As a bonus, she can psychically communicate with a mutant that her hubby keeps in a locked room. Since this is a 1950's film, it all ends in the lab burning up and everyone dying. Hurray for cliches!

8. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen: Leave it to Robin Williams to ham it up in a Terry Gilliam film. As a giant resident of the Moon, he has found a way to separate his head from his body and survive. He does this to escape the lusty nature of his body, which pretty much is always humping his wife. The man holds the Baron and friends hostage in a giant bird cage, a plot device that would later prove to be a bit ironic. Think about it.

7. Return to Oz: There are many creepy collections- like your Barbie doll collections, people- but nothing is this bad. The evil witch Mombi keeps a collection of living, human heads in her castle to switch out as she pleases. The moment when one of the sets of eyes opens up as Dorothy reaches for a potion will scar kids of the 80s for years. Now just imagine a whole museum dedicated to this. What kind of cartoon show would feature that?

Part 2 is coming soon. Stay tuned...

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