New Flix: Abigail (2024)

 A Film that was both ruined and helped by the Marketing.

I'll do my best to avoid SPOILERS.

A group of disparate criminals pull of a kidnapping.

The subject is the titular Abigail, the Daughter of a rich guy.

The rules are laid out by their Boss- Giancarlo Esposito.

Nobody but Melissa Barera has contact with the girl.
She sees no faces.
Nobody knows any names.

Melissa agrees to keep the girl safe until she's released in 24 hours.

There is tension in the group.

After all, they aren't friends, they don't know each other and now they are locked inside a House.

Also one of them is dead now!

When they find out the secret of what is going on, things are going to get even worse.

Who will live?
Who will die?

To find out, stream it now.

A Film that was kind of SPOILED to many, but still is really quite good.

The Story is strong, building up some suspense to a nice End of Act 1 reveal.  It is so good.

Again- it is just a shame that Marketing was like 'Put that in every Trailer and bit of promotional material.'  I did use the less SPOILER-y Poster by the way.

You're welcome.

Without giving too much away, the Film plays nicely with conventions, picking and choosing what thye want to work with.  I'm used to this by now, so no biggie.

The Writing as a whole is really strong, with a nice bit of humor mixed in amongst the Horror and Terror.  The Characters have some nice depth- at least the ones that they decide to focus on.

I hope that the Actress that plays Abigail gets all of the work she can handle- she's great.

In closing, Horror Fans should definitely watch this (or watch it again).  It is really good.  I mean, Giancarlo Esposito is in it for at least 10 minutes, so...

A Film that thankfully got some love in Theaters.  It deserves even more love however, so stream it or buy it.

Buy the DVD?: 48 Hours & Another 48 Hours

 A quick bit to share here that I found amusing.

I ended up with a single DVD version of the Sequel and then the 2 on one Disc release of both Films.

Neither has any Special Features (even Commentary), the 2-Film Disc features a Top Menu that I find hilarious.

Pick the Film and... watch them fight?

The Films are built around the idea of them being at odds and working together, so the Menu is too.

It is a bit of inspired Comedy for an otherwise soulless 'Here are the two Films' Disc.

Kudos.

Tubi Thursday: The Chill Factor (1993)

 As someone who lives in a State experiencing both record heat and what feels like record rain (at once), I need to get away.

Let's go somewhere cold and face...

A group of yuppies- including a soon to be Doctor and a Football Player- go out on a Ski Holiday.

After bonding/delivering exposition about who they are and how they're connected, they decide to do a snowmobile race after some day drinking.

What could go wrong?

Oh right- the crash.

One of them crashes off of their snowmobile and into a tree.

They take him to a nearby Cabin so he won't go into shock.

I should also mention the pretentious narration by the older version of our Lead.  It's her 30 years later...so last Year?!?

Anyways, the Football guy leaves to get help, while the others bicker while trying to take care of Tom.

No, that's not Tina Fey.

Eventually, it turns out that they unleashed some evil from a Not Ouija Board (they imply that it is some sort of Haitian Spirit Board) and it takes over Tom.

An evil unleashed from a Spirit Board, you say.  Perhaps a Witchboard?

It/Tom starts to kill off our Cast through various ways including a ceiling fan (since this lady can't duck)...

...and a falling icicle.  Only beat The Lovely Bones by 9 years (the Book, that is).

Can our Heroine who's narrating from the Future survive?  Yes.

Will they end the Film with a snowmobile race?  Hell yeah!

The End.

The Film isn't terrible, but it barely disguises what it is trying to emulate.

* Evil unleashed at a Cabin.
* Evil unleased via Spirit Board
* Friend possessed

Now just take all of those cliches and put them in a slightly different Setting.  Yes, it is a Cabin in the Woods...but in the Snow.

5 Stars for originality!

The big moments do kind of work here, but you have to wait for them quite a while.  They get close to delivering on them...but never quite fully.

The guy hits barbed wire on a snowmobile...but his head stays on.
The lady is killed by the fan...and we only see blood hit the wall.

I could also do without the framing of older Jeannie Narration.  They don't have a big reveal with it, so what's the point?

I want to give Films that I'm finding for the first time a chance.  I do.  This one is just so generic that it is hard to get too excited, even if the Print on Tubi by Arrow Video looks great.

A so-so Film that feels like a decent first attempt at a Film like that.  This is the only work by the Director (and much of the Cast), so...oh well.

Leave Me Stallone: Cobra (1986)

 I'm going to watch and review way too many Sylvester Stallone Films than any man should in a short amount of time.

None of them are Rocky or Rambo.

Let's start with 1986's Cobra aka White Cobra.  I've already covered all 3 Black Cobra Films in the past, so let's wrap things up here.

The short version of the Story- Stallone was offered Beverly Hills Cop and he rewrote it to be super expensive & with way more action.  He eventually dropped out when they wouldn't make that Film.

Instead, he adapted the Book 'Fair Game' into Cobra and we got to see what he really wanted to make.

The Film is infamous for so many reasons, so let's just jump right in...

Stallone is a Cop waging a seemingly-one-man war on crime.

He shoots a guy who randomly robs a Grocery Store (full of Pepsi- the Film's sponsor).  He doesn't 'play by the rules.'

He also creates his own Goofs, like when he rips this guy's shirt...to reveal his mic.  D'oh!

Los Angeles is under the spell of a violent gang/cult killing people with Axes.

They get their crime witnessed by one person- Brigiette Nielsen- and now he has to kill her too.

He kills 'Sledge Hammer,' but she gets away.
Luckily for him, one of the Cops is in the Cult!

He goes to drive her to a Safe House, but they shoot at him.

So, naturally, he chases them down and engages in a gun fight across the city...with Nielsen in the car.

Part of Stallone's pay was a copy of this Car.  Does he still have it?

The bad guys get away and he doesn't figure out that someone is feeding them information.

Now that this plan didn't work, they are going to...go to the Safe House.

Did the Movie just skip on me?

Somehow the corrupt Cop also gets to go with them (I'd love to see this explained) and the Cult will follow them.

Can this Master of Disguise catch them?

He's the bad guy in an '80s Stallone Film- you know that he doesn't!

An infamous Film that delivers exactly what you expect it to- for better or for worse.

Cobra is a dumb Film. 
It presents ludicrous crime stats to make its Plot work.  It wants to make you think that the World is full of crime, Politicians are soft on crime and people like Cobra are the only solution.

Putting that aside, the Film is all sorts of weird and dumb.

For instance, one Scene crosscuts between the Cult at a Rally and Nielsen doing a Photo Shoot with some Robots.

No, really.

The Film is a bombastic, Stallone wet dream.  In this analogy, the wet stuff is blood, by the way.  Perverts.

It's crazy to think that a Book like 'Fair Game' gave us this, 3 Black Cobra Films and, well, Fair Game.  As opposed to the Book that Cobra is NOT based on...

I mean, as far as I know.  Have you read it?

Next up, another Stallone Film that is kind of sort of based on a Book.  This time, he blows people up...for justice.  Stay tuned...

Forgotten Sequels: Another 48 Hours (1990)

 This time things are different.  Things have changed now.

Eddie Murphy has top billing and not Nick Nolte.

Did much else change for this Sequel?  The Film is 1990's Another 48 Hours, which reunites the Cast and Director.  It features new Writers, which means that the Film has about 12 Writers total, when you add the WGA-required credit for 'Based on Characters Created By.'

That idea- and it is a fair one- is why Dan O'Bannon has a Writing Credit for Alien: Romulus in 2024, despite the fact that he died in 2009.
It's not like that Film would revive the dead for real though.

In any event, this Story takes a bit of tweaking to make the time gap from 1982 to 1989 work.  As you might recall, Murphy's Character was going to be released in 6 months.
Don't worry- Eddie Murphy has the official Story credit here, so I'm sure it's all good.

Is this Sequel- which I technically own 2 copies of- worth a look back or is it more '80s excess?  Let's find out...

In the Film's opening, we don't get a hot desert road.
We get a hot desert- period.

A biker is waiting for another biker- Andrew Divoff- to arrive.

They set up a scheme to kill one man- Eddie Murphy's Reggie Hammond!

Right after that, we catch up with Nolte as he pursues some bad guys in a shoot out at a Motocross Race.

Yes, there's an explosion.

In the burning debris, he finds the picture of Reggie alongside some money in a briefcase.

We learn through awkward exposition that Nolte has spent the last 4 years trying to catch a drug dealer known as The Iceman, but had no luck.

A guy from IAB (aka the Internal Affairs Bureau) is on his butt, pleldgeing to press manslaughter charges for the shoot-out.

He's played by a famous That Guy Actor- Kevin Tighe.  You know he's not a nice guy here.

Murphy is just now getting out of Prison.  Yes, you read that right.

Between Films a phony Payroll Robbery Charge was tacked on to his sentence.

He also owes money to a Fixer in Prison- Bernie Casey.

Our Leads meet up and it's not friendly as Nolte hasn't visited since the extra charges were added.

The Bikers see them both men and try to kill them.

They shoot Nolte- who was visibly not bleeding- and make the Prison bus roll over 18-20 times (according to Reggie).

Both men survive and meet up in the Hospital.

Do you like rehashing the Plot with mild differences?  Great.

As the guys look for who's out to kill them, they have a showdown in a Bar that ends with Murphy pretending to be a Cop and shooting the air...and a guy's leg this time.

Meanwhile, Nolte knows that Reggie can identify The Iceman apparently.  He never stops to ask him to draw a sketch of him.

Mind you, the Film was apparently 120 minutes just 2 weeks before release.  The Studio chopped out 25 minutes- a la Daredevil- so maybe that's explained.

More familiar beats, including them briefly fighting again, talking about the money from Reggie's original robbery and a chase from a sleazy Motel into the Streets where they lose the bad guys.

As part of the B-Plot with Casey, Reggie gets his money from Nolte- who thinks that his time as a Cop is nearly over- and gives the cut to his Daughter- Tisha Campbell in her pre-Martin days.

The Bikers grab both of them to deliver to The Iceman.

Nolte finally figures out that The Iceman must be a Cop and narrows down his suspects.  He follows the one he makes the Audience think it is, but apparently knew that it was really his friend Ben (Brion James).

A shoot-out ensues.
Big shock- Murphy is held at gunpoint by the bad guy and Nolte shoots him...again.  This time he shoots Murphy in the shoulder first though.

The End.

The Film is fun, but it is not fresh.

I liked 48 Hours.  It's definitely worth a look back, especially as younger people reacquaint themselves with Eddie Murphy's Filmography in the wake of Axel F.

This Film is very, very familiar.

I will say that the overall Story- by Murphy- does feature some nice twists and turns.

The Film is a great example of Films that don't change up all that much for Sequels- like Ghostbusters II, for instance- and still kind of get away with it.

There's plenty of fun and excess here.  It is a bigger Film all around, as evidenced by the fact that the Budget was 4x bigger!

It is a bit disappointing that they didn't do more to mix things up.  If you were really daring, have Murphy have been released and he's a Cop, with Nolte in jail for some crime he didn't commit.

If you're not that daring, at least do something like Nolte is saved by Murphy.

Another 48 Hours is a decent, if all too familiar Sequel.  It doesn't break new ground, but it does break lots of glass.

Next up, I cover a Sylvester Stallone Film...or three.  First up, the Film that he took in place of Beverly Hills Cop.  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Spookies (1986)

 I'm in an '80s to early '90s mood (as you'll see this week), so let's keep it up.

This is one I've heard of, but never seen until now...

After a Cold Open with a kid and a random guy, we get into the Plot proper.

A bunch of folks whose names we barely know and whose relation to each other is mostly unclear drive up to this random House for...a party?

Sure- why not?!?

Inside the House, the Owner is plotting.  He has his undead/barely alive via magic wife there and he needs souls to reform her.

If you're wondering how he can summon Zombies and other such creatures, it's, um, magic...or something.

It's not that kind of Film.

Do I want them to die?

Kind of.

At some point, she comes back to life...but he's also not done.

Yeah, we still have about 40 minutes to go.

She runs off.

The group is trapped in the House now and split up, as you do (if you're a moron).

They are attacked by strange creatures like farting zombies, weird lizard puppets, a spider-lady and...Death from Castlevania?

Who will live?
Who will die?

To find out, stream it now.

A fun Film- no question.

Is it a good Film?  Objectively, no.

The Story is silly, the Plot is disjointed, the Acting is over-the-top and it is very, very silly.

That said, I had a good time with it.  It had some fun practical effects and silly humor.

Fun Fact- it saved an Historical Landmark.  No joke.

They filmed in the boyhood home of John Jay, one of the Founders of the Constitution and Writer of The Federalist Papers.

Allegedly, the then-owners were hoping that they would wreck the house while Filming...but they fixed it up.
Now it is a landmark.  

Thanks, Spookies.

That felt weird.
The Film is silly, dumb and very disjointed.  It is fun though.  Hey, did you just give me the finger?!?

A pretty fun, if inconsistent Film.  The loose thread connecting everything is very tenuous and could have done with some tightening.

Tubi Thursday: Maya (1989)

 There it is- the only other Horror Film by Marcello Avalone.

I'm done after this- yea!

A man in Mexico is scared by a dream of his death.

Five minutes later, he walks to a Temple (after seeing a weird kid) and it actually happens.

Don't get too excited- not much happens for quite a while after this.

An ex-pat is down there and he was working with the guy.
He meets up with his Daughter, but is no help whatsoever.

Eventually, the kid starts showing up again before random kills.

Between those moments, lots of random Scenes.

Want to see a guy's finger get ripped off?
You do?!?

The apparent revival of a Mexican God of Death (possibly the one from V/H/S 85) causes random murders to happen.

This includes a killer truck trunk, an invisible spirit killing a lady in the bathtub and a lady killed by hooks in her earlobes.

That last one would suck, but you'd live.

By the way, this Poster below features that last Scene, but she's apparently topless here?  Huh?!?

Will the sudden revelation that people can slip in and out of reality wake you up for the finish?

To find out, stream it now.

I was expecting something more, but should I have?

In hindsight, I expected too much.  This is just the kind of Film that Avalone made.
If that's your kind of Film, more power to you.

For all his faults, Lucio Fulci's strange Films were almost never boring.  The crazy stuff was enough to keep you alert during the walking dreams that his Films were.

The Film has a few standout moments.  It would make a great Clip Reel.

If only the rest of the Film were interesting.  It all relates to Peter, who's kind of a dick.  You don't relate to him (I hope) and it makes the Film hard to care about.

This would be a harder one to re-cut/edit into a more interesting Film.  I guess don't be so vague about things until the last Act, write nicer/more interesting Characters and focus.

Oh well- at least nobody marketed it like a Sequel to Gods of Egypt...

Like his other Film, this one has a solid bit of potential.  Sadly, it is just unfocused and only gets interesting near the end.

Shudder Day: The Final Terror (1983)

 Aw, can't we just have a little bit more Terror before bedtime?!?

I've been too busy for this Segment, so let's go back to the '80s.

In the Cold Open, a couple get in a very avoidable motorcycle accident on a Forest Path.

The lady goes for help and finds her boyfriend dead!

She's killed by a DIY trap...and only mentioned in passing once.

A group of Forest Workers go out on a trip and bring some ladies along.

It's ostensibly for work, but, I was 18 once, so I know why they're really going.

By the way, one of the girls is Daryll Hannah!

All is going well.
Bonding, jokes, smoking pot and all that.

At night, they hear a story of a crazy woman who escaped from a nearby Asylum (which they passed on the road) and how her Son was hiding her.

Well, that won't matter.

Things take a turn for the worse when one of the group- Adrian Zmed- goes missing and is presumed dead (by the audience).

The slightly older Leaders (Boyfriend and Girlfriend) go looking and... you guessed it, have sex in the Forest.

He dies.

She's now held by the mysterious stranger!

Can the rest of the group escape the Forest?

Who will be killed?

Will Joe Pantoliano somehow be more hateable in this Film than in The Matrix?

To find out, stream it now!

In all honesty, I was expecting a far worse and far schlockier Film.

This one sounds like Stock Movie Plot #15 and the kind of thing parodied by Weird Al in 'Nature Trail to Hell in 3-D.'

Here's the thing- it's not.  At all.

It's a Film about people taunted and targeted by a killer in the Woods- granted.  I've seen plenty.  It's such a cliche that there's literally a Film called Don't F**k in the Woods.

This one doesn't work like those, however, as it is far more about the group dynamic and how they must work together.

I kept expecting them to be picked off one-by-one in every other Scene.
The Film is surprisingly light on kills, however, and really nails the tension.

It's not The Burning.  It's not Friday the 13th either.  It's much more like Deliverance with a bunch of young people and a stalker/killer.  I'm all for it.

Want more proof of how different this one is than you think?  They dared to put Daryll Hannah in this helmet!

A fun surprise from Shudder and proof that I've still got lots of hidden gems to mine for.  Thanks, Shudder.