I'm going to watch and review way too many Sylvester Stallone Films than any man should in a short amount of time.
None of them are Rocky or Rambo.
Let's start with 1986's Cobra aka White Cobra. I've already covered all 3 Black Cobra Films in the past, so let's wrap things up here.
The short version of the Story- Stallone was offered Beverly Hills Cop and he rewrote it to be super expensive & with way more action. He eventually dropped out when they wouldn't make that Film.
Instead, he adapted the Book 'Fair Game' into Cobra and we got to see what he really wanted to make.
The Film is infamous for so many reasons, so let's just jump right in...
Stallone is a Cop waging a seemingly-one-man war on crime.
He shoots a guy who randomly robs a Grocery Store (full of Pepsi- the Film's sponsor). He doesn't 'play by the rules.'
He also creates his own Goofs, like when he rips this guy's shirt...to reveal his mic. D'oh!
Los Angeles is under the spell of a violent gang/cult killing people with Axes.
They get their crime witnessed by one person- Brigiette Nielsen- and now he has to kill her too.
He kills 'Sledge Hammer,' but she gets away.
Luckily for him, one of the Cops is in the Cult!
He goes to drive her to a Safe House, but they shoot at him.
So, naturally, he chases them down and engages in a gun fight across the city...with Nielsen in the car.
Part of Stallone's pay was a copy of this Car. Does he still have it?
The bad guys get away and he doesn't figure out that someone is feeding them information.
Now that this plan didn't work, they are going to...go to the Safe House.
Did the Movie just skip on me?
Somehow the corrupt Cop also gets to go with them (I'd love to see this explained) and the Cult will follow them.
Can this Master of Disguise catch them?
He's the bad guy in an '80s Stallone Film- you know that he doesn't!
An infamous Film that delivers exactly what you expect it to- for better or for worse.
Cobra is a dumb Film.
It presents ludicrous crime stats to make its Plot work. It wants to make you think that the World is full of crime, Politicians are soft on crime and people like Cobra are the only solution.
Putting that aside, the Film is all sorts of weird and dumb.
For instance, one Scene crosscuts between the Cult at a Rally and Nielsen doing a Photo Shoot with some Robots.
No, really.
The Film is a bombastic, Stallone wet dream. In this analogy, the wet stuff is blood, by the way. Perverts.
It's crazy to think that a Book like 'Fair Game' gave us this, 3
Black Cobra Films and, well,
Fair Game. As opposed to the Book that
Cobra is NOT based on...
 |
| I mean, as far as I know. Have you read it? |
Next up, another Stallone Film that is kind of sort of based on a Book. This time, he blows people up...for justice. Stay tuned...
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