Holiday Flix: Pyrates (1991)

At last, I complete the Love and Pyrokinetics Trilogy.
Confused?  Well, it started with Wilder Napalm, a tale of 2 men who loved one woman...and could summon fire with their minds.

It continued last year with Nice Girls Don't Explode, a tale of two lovers separated by a Mother who made her think that she could summon fire with her mind.

This is 1991's Pyrates, a Romantic Comedy that is big on style.  Is there substance here?

The Film Stars real-life couple Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick, who married in 1988.  What is the problem they face?  As you probably guessed, them having sex spontaneously starts fires.

Seriously, did anyone guess that?!?

Writer-Director Noah Stern hasn't done much after this one- two Feature Films in 32 years- and there might be a reason why.  

To find out, read on...

This is the love story of two people- Ari and Samantha.

They meet at a Party (which looks like the same Warehouse Dance Party from Cool as Ice).

They have sex on the Fire Escape...and a Fire breaks out.

This is represented by Black and White Stock Footage.

This is that lost Ed Wood Film from 1998 again, isn't it? 

Apparently every time they hook up, a fire breaks out.

Bacon's Roommate- the guy from Dungeons & Dragons 2- has to deal with it.

In fact, their respective roommates want them to break up.

It is not just the fire damage- it seems to affect their lives when they are apart, professionally and personally.

They are convinced to break up, which one of them does not take well.

Shocking, the volatile people don't react well to change and/or rejection!

They get back together, but can they make it work?

They consult a Rabbi and then...this guy.

I know that this is a Comedy, but...hmm...kind of iffy.

Through testimonials from the Friends, we learn that the pair's career is going great...but they are growing apart.

Can their relationship be saved?

After another break-up and some drama, the day is saved thanks to some romantic singing and car alarm triggering.

It is true love...I guess. 
They are still married (as of 2024), so...yes?

The End.

The Film is a bit too 'hip' for its own good.  That is the danger of a Film like this.  When you try to be so relentlessly topical, you look *really* dated later on.

All of the Testimonials and silly Title Cards feel right out of The Real World.  Oy.

In 2024, there is a fun sort of appeal to see this kind of Film.  Add in two Stars AND the fact that they are still married to this day, bonus.

That said, the Film is truly, truly dated.  The humor is also a bit silly at all times.
If that works for you, check this out.

Otherwise, this is another example of a Time Capsule Film (one that lets you really see a time).  Plus you get Bruce Payne being silly.

By the way, all of the testimonials make me think of the Real World-style ones done (with no explanation) in that Justice League of America TV Pilot.

That also had a character who created fires!  It's all connected!

Happy Love Day...or whatever this is.  Don't start no fires.