After some slowdown and other nonsense, we've hit 4,599 Posts, so it is time for the...
So how did we get an Ed Wood Film in 1998? The man died in 1978!
Well, one of his unproduced Screenplays (that thankfully wasn't Porn) got discovered and a one-time Director decided to shoot it as-is.
The problem- the Script apparently didn't have Dialog yet.
The solution- don't add any.
The problem- the Script apparently didn't have Dialog yet.
The solution- don't add any.
Yep, this is a 'Silent' Film in 1998, although you get screams and voices in footage they spliced in (I'll explain later). So how do you explain a Plot without Dialog? You'll...see.
A crazy man escapes from a Sanitarium by stealing the Nurse's Uniform. Check off 'Dressing in Drag' for your Ed Wood Bingo Card.
Of course, he abandons the outfit quickly, so it's not a lifestyle thing.
Also that's Billy Zane, a year after Titanic.
The Film having no Dialog means that it plays out like segments in a Silent Film.
They also changed none of the info in the Script, so you get stuff like 45 cent hot dogs in Los Angeles.
The desperate Zane robs a Bank, but isn't stopped by the Keystone Cops.
Instead, he shoots the Teller after he draws a gun and somehow misses by a mile 4x.
He runs away.
It's funny, because...he just killed that guy?!?
The Film does this odd bit throughout which is both creative and annoying- the fun combo!
We learn that Zane hates loud noises- who likes them?- and we learn this via Educational Short Footage spliced in.
It's kind of funny. Once. Only once.
Since we have no Dialog, the Film does this 'cute' thing where it just shows the Script notes on Screen.
It's literally the definition of Tell, Don't Show...but it also Shows...I guess.
My brain hurts.
Hiding out in a Cemetery (as one does), the man loses his stolen money.
He thinks that the people at the previous day's Funeral stole it, so he tracks them down by reading the Script (basically).
He tracks them all down to various Locales- like a Burlesque Club, a far-away House and a Carnival- and kills all but one of them.
He's stopped from taking out Tex (Jon Ritter) by the Carnies.
He flees from them and the Cops (all played by the most random of Actors and Conrad Brooks).
He goes back to the Cemetery, finds his money and falls into a grave, where he dies.
Crime never pays. Neither does doing a Film without Dialog based on something half-written 20+ years earlier. The End.
This...could have been good. It wouldn't have been great, due to all of the hurdles it put in front of itself.
With no Dialog, the Actors do the heavy lifting in other ways. That leads to Zane being a manic ball of energy that is sometimes fun, sometimes very annoying. The other Actors are often various forms of deadpan to counter that. At least it isn't full-on nonsense greeted with more nonsense.
The Cast for this is so weird and wacky that I'm doing a 2nd Post on it. Cheap plug.
The Film is best described as a silly piece of Pop Art. It has canned Music- from Psycho-, weird interludes, a goofy Plot, old-timey footage to be ironic and lots of silly Acting. It's not meant to be taken seriously, so why bother?
As for Ron and I, we watched the whole thing for you. How was it, Ron?
Bad...but in a way that some will like. It would be a fun Short Film. It's 80 minutes long though.
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