Streaming Standard: Resident Evil- Infinite Darkness

 With a new Resident Evil Film out, I might as well look at the last adaptation.
This one comes via Netflix and CGI so life-like that you might just ask- why not just make it Live-Action?

With a big Plot and a strong connection to the Games, how did it turn out?

Somewhere out there, a vast conspiracy is being unfurled.

It involves the T-Virus.
It involves Soldiers in a secret battle.
A man in a position of power is pulling the strings.

To what end?

That's what Claire Redfield is going to find out.

Elsewhere, Leon Kennedy is assigned to a case at the White House.  It helps get work when you save the President's Daughter.

He's just in time, it seems, as T-Virus-infected creatures show up to kill the President!

The pair cross during this, but are too busy to make small-talk.

One of them has to keep exploring the secrets behind some master plan by a Villain.

The other must track down a dangerous bio-weapon before it is too late.

Leon gets to the truth- which I won't SPOIL- and now has to face down a new version of T-Virus-infected Super Mutant.

Can our Heroes stop a dangerous creature, the person behind the dastardly Plot and, oh yeah, stop an actual War from breaking out?

To find out, stream the Show (which is basically just a Movie cut into 4 Parts for no reason).

A pretty fun, if melodramatic Feature...I mean, Show.  It won't be confused for high art.  It won't win any Awards for Writing or Acting.  It's a bit like watching a silly, old Pulp Film Story...just with state-of-the-art CGI.

With that said, it is pretty enjoyable.  It is a bit long for what it really needs to be.  If they trimmed the Plot down a bit and didn't show it out of order for no reason, it would be an easy recommendation.  It has good action.  It has fun moments.  It is big, bold and loud.  It just happens to be silly and self-serious enough to be enjoyable.

If you don't set your expectations too high and know a bit about the Game Series, it's an easy recommendation.  Watch it as one part, probably, since the Episodic Format is pretty pointless.  Now let's see that Title Card in Japanese...

As a fan of the big, dumb Resident Evil stories, I enjoyed it.  It's by no means perfect, of course.

NewER Flix: The Hole (2009)

 It's not a 'hot take' to say that Joe Dante is a good Director.  His Resume speaks for itself.  Sadly, he hasn't gotten to make nearly as much great content in the last 10-20 years.  Of course, sometimes I tend to miss some too.  For instance, he Directed a 'Horror' Episode of DC's Legends of Tomorrow in 2016.  Before that, he Directed 2009's The Hole, which feels like a return to form and style.  That's not to demean his other stuff around this time- like his excellent Masters of Horror Episodes- but this feels like Joe Dante doing, well, a Joe Dante Film he might have done in the late '90s.  In it, a family moves to a new home that has a dark secret.  What secrets lie in the titular Hole?  I spent a whole $1.50 on this, so let's find out...

A family- which we later learn is fleeing an abusive Husband/Father- moves to a new home.

The older Brother- rocking a The Killer shirt like a poser- is unhappy, until he finds a girl.
Ha ha- it's totally true though.

Making friends with her, the duo share a secret with her- they found a Hole in their basement.

It seems to have no bottom and no light escapes it.

Since they are Teenagers, they don't do the logical thing and, you know, report it...

The trio begin to experience weird things like hearing voices, seeing figures in the dark and the like.

The girl- Julie- begins to see a strange little girl around as well...

The trio find a man- Bruce Dern- who owned the House before them.

He warns them about 'the Darkness' that they released by opening the covering to the Hole.

In his next Scene, he's killed by said Darkness.  Bye!

To deal with the Darkness, the trio must face their fears and cause it to lose its power.

Julie is finally able to confront the Ghost of her dead friend, whom she failed to save as a child...

While the little Brother has to fight an evil doll.

I mean, I'd probably rather face down my deep-seated regrets than fight this thing, wouldn't you?

The final fear resides in the Hole, which our Hero jumps into to save his Brother.

It takes the form of their Father, who is a violent giant- due to him being abusive when the kid was younger.

He has to confront and defeat this creation!

He manages to do so, returning top-side with his Brother.

The Hole's power fades away...until the Mother comments on her fear to end the Film on Sequel-Bait...I think.

That or its just a joke- I'm honestly not sure.  The End.

A fun Film that manages to be a bit cliche-ridden in the process.  The Hole is not going to defy expectations and Genres.  The worst thing you can say is that it arguably plays too safe.  It skirts bigger issues until the End, which does at least pay off nicely.  Before you get to that, you get all of the usual stuff.  Ghosts sure do love turning off lights, don't they?  Evil dolls sure do love skittering about for a while before going all kung-fu hustle on their foes.  People sure do love not telling people when they see strange things, huh?

That said, there's nothing wrong here.  It's shot well.  It's acted well.  It's well-produced.  I don't have any real critiques about how it all plays out.  The Hole is a good Movie.  In the End, it touches the story beats that it needs to...just without reinventing the wheel.  It also apparently has Dick Miller...Uncredited, since his part appears to have been cut.

Next time, I cover a bad Film by a good Director.  Was it really bad enough to ruin his career?  Stay tuned...

New Streaming: Creepshow- 'The Right Snuff'

 In Space, nobody can hear you scream?  Kind of ruins the effect in this segment of...

In 'The Right Snuff,' two Astronauts are flying around the Moon doing an experiment with a gravity-disruption device.

They nearly get hit by debris...which can't be seen.

They get some big news- Aliens want to make First Contact.

The catch: they only want one of them to do it.

If Aliens do ever show up, they would want to meet Breckin Meyer, to be fair.

The other Astronaut is the Son of a famous one and he's jealous of his companion.

Will he accept being 'the other guy' in History?

…or will he make a big decision that could have disastrous consequences?

To find out, stream the Segment on Shudder.

A good Segment that gives us a Sci-Fi sample.  It's nice to see some real variety in a Show like this.  Seeing one bit like this makes all of the Monsters and Killers feel more fresh.  They also really nail the EC Comics vibe with this one, especially in the Ending...which I won't SPOIL.  It's good stuff though.  It's not the most complex Story- two guys on a ship and one seems to snap- but it is a good one.  The whole thing builds pretty naturally too, which is sometimes tricky in a shortened runtime.  You can either end up with bad pacing due to front-loading all of the dialog.  You can also end up with a weak motivation by pushing the Plot forward too quickly.  They reach a nice balance here, I think.  The Right Snuff is a nice palette cleanser of a Segment, so give it a watch wherever you are...

Next time, a tale of sibling rivalry turns dark.  Who's got murder in the betting pool?  Stay tuned...

Immediate Response: Ghostbusters- Afterlife

 Pro-Tip: see a Film at 2:45 if you're worried about crowds being unsafe.  All 7 of us in the Auditorium were fine as we saw...

The Good

* The Film tells a new Story that connects to the previous ones.

* The new Cast does a good job with the material, feeling very natural in a crazy story.

* The Story is respectful to the original Films, giving you the right amount of reverence while also doing its own thing.

* Great Special Effects, as well as a Soundtrack that always makes things feel right.

* A Film with ghosts, laser backpacks and ghost traps manage to mine legitimate emotion.

The Bad

* If you want a wholly original Film, you're in the wrong place.  It's half love letter/half new Film.

* One big name has a surprisingly-small Role that's basically a Cameo.  It's kind of funny...but weird.

* The Film reminds you how much people can age over 30 years.  Damn you, mortality!

* Another Ghostbusters Film asks you to accept that everyone just forgets moments like a giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in NYC and The Statue of Liberty walking down the street.  How?!?

Happy Thanks-Tubi-ng!

 No Tubi Thursday on account of the Holiday.

That said, if you don't have 18 Grandkids, Nieces, Nephews or Neighbors filling up your Living Room, you might as well enjoy some good stuff.

As such, here are a few choice offerings that are currently on Tubi…

1. Dead & Buried

This 1981 Thriller has a strong pedigree- coming from Dan O'Bannon- and rides the fine line between being famous Cult Film and obscure gem.
No SPOILERS.

2. Suspiria (the original)

Do I need to even tell you how good this is?

This atmospheric gem still holds up after 40 years (give or take) and features a bizarre, but compelling Plot.

3. Something Scary (Web/TV Series)

A personal pick that's just kind of weird/creepy.

A series of Flash-animated adaptations of Creepypastas (Google it), the Show is full of short, sweet bites.
Some are genuinely scary, while many are just plain weird fun.

4. The Frighteners

One last bit of fun with crazy Peter Jackson before he went all 'serious' on us.

This Horror Comedy has good effects, a strong Plot and is *technically* a Horror Film starring Michael J. Fox.

Need I say more?

5. Cooties

A Film about killer kids is always a winner- especially when it is a Comedy.

This one has, well, what I just told you.  It also features Elijah Wood and Rainn Wilson.

It's pretty fun.

6. Masters of Horror (The Series)

I mean, who pays for Showtime these days?

This Series of nearly-feature-length Films come to us from many great Directors like Joe Dante, Tobe Hooper, John Carpenter, Dario Argento and John Landis, among others.

It doesn't get enough love these days.

7. The Giant Claw

A little trash is always fun.

This B-Movie had lofty ambitions...but was also too cheap to hire Ray Harryhausen.
As such, a cheap, Mexican puppet stood in for a good monster.

It's fun fluff.

8. Swamp Thing (the '90s TV Series)

I have a soft spot for this under-budgeted Show.

Dick Durock and company do their best to fill weird stories with gravitas on the Universal Studios Backlot.

There are some legit gems in amongst the silly and crazy.

9. It Follows

An Indy gem that I won't pretend to dislike.

The premise feels unique, even if it can be traced back to similar Films over the years.
The feel of it is fresh and grounded.

That's just a small sampling, of course, from the random assembly of Films on there.

I didn't even cover stuff like Species, The Stuff, the Die Hard Films, Leprechaun or Wishmaster.

It's the anti-Hallmark Channel for many, so enjoy!

'00s Trash?: Memory (2006)

 Another Film on the Disc and one who's Title almost rhymes.  This is Memory, a 2006 Film that I'd never heard of before now.  It is from the same 4-Film Set that contained Mortuary.  Is it better or worse?  On the surface, it doesn't seem super-promising.  The Star- Billy Zane.  Unless he's on a doomed boat or in purple spandex, have people cared?  No offense there, Mr. Zane- but it is true.  The Supporting Cast includes Tricia Helfer- right after Battlestar Galactica began-, Dennis Hopper (back when he was doing just about anything) and, seemingly at random, Ann-Margaret.  This comes to us from the Director of, all Film, The Medallion with Jackie Chan.  He also wrote the Book that Memory is based on, which seems like an end-run around the whole 'Adapt this Book into a Film' thing.  Did it work better when it happened with The Wicker Tree?  Yeah, no.  The Plot is all sorts of weird, involving brain fluid, a powder made by an indigenous Tribe in Brazil and a hidden series of crimes.  Have I hooked you yet?  Well, too bad, you're here for the pretentious Title Card, so keep going...

A man is attacked by a Brazilian Tribe in a bit that reminds me of Cannibal Holocaust.

Curious and distracting way to open the Film.

The man ends up at a Brazilian Hospital which calls in Zane and his friend- both Neuro Scientists/Geneticists to help.

While checking on him, Zane gets some powder on him.

Yes, this whole Plot hinges upon him being stupid about a guy in semi-quarantine!

That night, he has the first of many vivid dreams where he's in the Woods and a masked man is running about.

He wakes up in the Shower, understandably confused.

He keeps having these visions and seeing things that he can't possibly know/see.

For instance, he sees a Newspaper from 10 years before he was born.

He starts to recognize people too, thinking that he might be seeing people related to unsolved crimes in his town.

Meanwhile, he interacts with his father figure (since his real father was never around) in Hopper and his Mom (who suffers from Alzheimer's)'s friend Ann-Margaret.

They also show us fake Home Movies with stand-ins for the older Actors, putting in way more work than necessary for something like this.

As his concern and paranoia grows, he ends up dating Helfer, who gets dragged into the whole thing by default.

His friends support him, even if they don't truly believe him.

He won't let up on the case, going so far as to break into the Home of one of the alleged- by him- victims, a girl who has been missing for months.

His visions also work for full Plot Convenience, not striking him here, but instead waiting for him to get outside before KOing him.

Taunted, it seems, by the masked perpetrator from his dreams/visions/memories, Zane looks more into the name they gave themselves.

It all relates to an Angel that supposedly 'saved' Children, which the person seems to be doing (in their own mind) by taking them from their families.

As the case seems to strike closer to home, can Zane solve the mystery?

I won't SPOIL it, so you'll just have to enjoy this Seven-style obsession room instead.

A surprisingly-interesting Film.  Granted- I think the whole Science behind the Plot is kind of silly.  Is it based on any real thing?  I feel like it must be.  That said, it feels silly.  You can get Sense Memories- shown in fully 3-dimensional Flashbacks- from people in your Family?  Really.  Come on!

That said, the Film is surprisingly-engaging.  Zane does a good job as a guy who slowly gets more intense and 'into' solving a Mystery.  Helfer does a good job as being someone who wants to help, even if they grow more concerned.  Hopper- in his admittedly-small role- plays a nice father figure to Zane and makes you think that more will come from this.  Ann-Margaret drops in and out of things, eventually becoming more important to solving the familial mystery that appears.

The whole thing could be shlocky in the wrong hands.  In the hands of its Writer and Director, it's a decent-to-good Film that plays with the Giallo-style in an interesting, if silly way.  It's worth a look, to be honest.  Of course, I'm not going as far as this real (?) headline does...

Next time, I cover a Film by Joe Dante.  It's one of his more recent works and it attempts to be a throwback of sorts to what made him famous in the first place.  Stay tuned...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: ROTOR (Part 3)

 As a reminder, helping someone in need doesn't always pay off.

In ROTOR, our Heroine continues to flee the Android Assassin (after her for a speeding violation made by her Boyfriend/Fiance).

She flees outside of a Diner and runs into a Truck Driver, who is happy to get out and help.

This guy doesn't back down as ROTOR has a gun drawn on him too.

Thank you, Texas?

He gets shot by ROTOR...

…but still manages to shoot him after he hits the ground.

He also manages to seem more annoyed than, you know, in pain from his bullet wound.

On the plus side, a Poor Bastard at least manages to look kind of good here.

Let's be honest- he probably dies from that untreated wound (assuming that ROTOR doesn't shoot him again off-screen).

The lesson- armed or not, don't help people.  This 'good guy with a gun' didn't end up well.

Next time, a random death (with plot ramifications) leads to a Poor Bastard.  Maybe don't rush out to check on people next time, honey.  See you then...

New Streaming: Creepshow- 'Pesticide'

 After a killing (or two) at a B&B, let's see the other half of the Episode...

In 'Pesticide,' an Exterminator is a bit abrasive, but does love his job.

He's...something.

He takes on a high-paying assignment that makes him question his morality.

Now that he has trouble sleeping, how are things going to go?

Things start to get really weird and he begins to wonder what is real and what is fake?

Can he go to someone for help or is it too late?

To find out, stream the Segment.

A fun segment that is mostly an excuse for some fun VFX work.  This is the Segment done by Greg Nicotero, so you know what to expect.  They make good use of Practical Effects, as well as Make-Up mixed in with some CGI.  As I've said about the Show before, the limitations of production- basically money- make them lean on more old-school stuff.  It gives the Show a retro vibe that fits with the source material.  The Plot here is pretty simple.  The slow, gradual degradation of the man's physical and mental state is good to see.  He's not a good person, so it's easy to enjoy his downfall.  Thanks, schadenfreude!  This one feels more like a classic Creepshow Segment than the previous one.  It may not have a ton of depth, but sometimes you just want to have a good time.  Right, Keith?

Next time, we get a bit of a Sci-Fi tale to mix things up.  To infinity and beyond!  See you then...

'80s Trash?: The Wind (1986)

 As a Holiday interrupted Tubi Thursday, I might as well cover this one late.  This is The Wind, a 1986 Film by Nico Mastorakis.  The man behind Island of Death- lovely.  This is a Who's Who of People Often in Trashy Films.  I mean no disrespect to said people, but the Resumes speak for themselves.  Meg Foster, she with the creepy eyes, is in arguably more bad Films than good ones.  Being in They Live does help a bit.  Up next is Wings Hauser, a man who was in lots of Rifftrax material early on.  One of them- Nightmare at Noon- was also by Nico here.  Next on the Roster we have Steve Railsback, who got big acclaim early in his career for playing Charles Manson.  He's since gone on to appear in stuff like, well, this, Barb Wire and The Asylum's King of the Lost World.  We also have David McCallum, who most people know from NCIS, but he had a long career before that.  Rounding out the group, we have Robert Morely (though not for long) who might be the only Oscar Nominee in this.  

What is the Plot?  Sadly, it's not about killer wind, like I was hoping.  Instead, Foster goes to Greece- big shock with the Setting- to finish a Mystery Novel...as you do.  She runs afoul of Wings after he commits a murder, leading to a long cat-and-mouse game.  Who will win?  To find out, read on...

Foster leaves her boyfriend- McCallum- behind to go to Greece to finish her latest Mystery Novel.

Sadly, the Film does NOT wrap around to reveal that the Plot of this Film became the story of her Book.
That would be too clever, no?

The Village is mostly-empty, save for the guy who owns the House- Morely- and the Caretaker- Hauser.

The latter is basically a Drifter on his last chance, so he's someone you can trust.

Also it's windy.

Now there's one less as Hauser kills Morsely after he fires him.

Sadly, the Wind is still here to stay.

Foster sees him burying a body and makes the connection, so, naturally, she decides to investigate the situation IMMEDIATELY while he's still out and about.

What could go wrong?

Oh right- he tries to kill her.

Now she's trapped upstairs and can't seem to get help.

Oh and Railsback shows up abruptly about 55 minutes into this, gets an exposition dump about his character, hangs around with Foster for 10 minutes and then dies.

Can Foster escape Hauser?

To find out, stream the Film and see if the Title becomes really important at any point.

A decent Film, if a bit shallow.  If you break the Film down, it's at least a full hour of just Meg Foster hiding from/fending off Wings Hauser.  They really have to stretch certain Scenes out to make this work. Between those moments, we get the drama of people trying to call different Cities in Greece via Collect Calls from L.A.  It's not badly-executed per se, but is a bit much for what little content they have here.

For one thing, you could have built up the tension between Foster and Hauser before he knew that she saw his crime.  Instead, he's crazy in like his 2nd Scene, kills the Owner and then goes right after her.  He has one last interaction where he's clearly gone off the deep end, but I guess he's trying to gauge how guilty she knows he is.  It helps, though it is only a few minutes tops.

Foster- in spite of my clear phobia regarding her eyes- does do a good job here.  Hauser, in turn, plays crazy pretty well.  It's basically what if someone watched Jack Nicholson in The Shining and tried to do that.  On the flip side, McCallum has nearly nothing to do after Act 1 and Railsback is kind of wasted in his small role.

The Wind is a decent Thriller.  It's just a pretty bare-bones one.  You could do worse on a dark night though.

Next time, I mine a multi-Film DVD for more content.  What's the worst I could find?  Stay tuned...