Millennial Trash: Carnivore (2000)

It's less of a 'love letter' to 1980s Horror and more of a 'ransom note with a severed finger' to it.  This is Carnivore, a Horror Film from 2000 that I bought for a dollar.  I sure get the best Films that way!  To be fair, I got lucky once or twice- like with Street Smart-, but my success rate is pretty low.  The Film is basically about a monster trapped in a House and some people get killed by it there.  That's about it, really.  It has 2 Directors- one with this sole credit and one with about 20 (Short) Films on his Resume.  This is not looking good.  Long ago I promoted the 4K Remastering of Night Trap (which failed, sadly).  Today I see what happens if you tried to emulate it in all of the worst ways.  Is this the good kind of trashy or the bad kind?  To find out, read on...

In 1989, a boring House is used as a cover for a Government Experiment.  We are told this by a dispassionate Narrator who sounds like she's afraid of getting within 5 feet of the microphone.

Seriously, Podcasts have better sound balance than you!

The creature, of course, breaks free.  However, it doesn't leave the House.

A woman- the Narrator- works for the Government and is told about the incident.  She's going there right now...so she'll be there for Act 3.

Said creature is about the saddest looking one you'll see.

The Film compensates for this with barely any glimpses of it, so...enjoy?

In the Main Plot, our 'Heroes' are four 'Teens' who go to the famously-'haunted' House.

Are those even real bricks?

You can guess what happens when two of them break off to have sex.

Right on cue, the Government Agents show up in Act 3.

That POV sure doesn't get better.

And yes, half of the Film is this ugly blue shade.

The title Monster isn't actually that hard to kill, which feels odd.

He kills one 'Teen' and a 'Cop' or 2, but that's it.

...until the aftermath, where our bored Narrator says that he escaped...off-camera...I guess.

Sequel Bait?  Come on!

A pretty nothing Horror Film, even if you consider the Budget and inexperience.  If you have no money, make something creative.  I can forgive many technical issues if you just try for something unique.  Making a generic Monster in House Film doesn't cut it.  I guess it is better than a Zombie Film.  That or a Troma Film.  The idea here seems to be to make a 'modern' (for its time) update of an '80s Monster Film.  The problem is that they didn't make a good or interesting Film- regardless of intent.  The Movie is just kind of dull, poorly shot and hard to hear.  It also isn't that great to look at either.  There are many points where it doesn't have this ugly blue filter and it looks decent.  It takes on said filter at many points when it has to do Special Effects- like a fairly-decent one involving a Cop losing his face.  Oh, so it's just a cheat then.  If a truly great Script was here, I'd defend the Film a bit more from these unforced errors.  It isn't.  I wanted to be able to tell you that they tried their best and made something good.  I love uncovering hidden gems.  This isn't it.  The only thing of note here that has stood the test of time- the Credits Font.  They, of course, stole it from Law & Order though, so no points there...

Next up, I step back to the '90s to relive a Cult Classic.  Will I be able to stop laughing at how outdated the computers are?  Stay tuned...