Yeah, so I can't Review this one without SPOILERS. I also don't think that it is notable enough to Review it twice, so...
So this follows the Brother of the Lead Girl from the Original as he goes looking for her almost 20 years later.
He's driven to go back by a YouTube Video uploaded by this guy on the end of a woman in the same Woods who looks like her. Remember this.
Within only a day, they hear weird sounds and see the trademark Undertaker symbol around them.
As it turns out, the Witch didn't do the latter- it was the Townies. Remember this.
The group kick the duo out- naturally- and get lost in the Woods, with their built-in GPS Devices failing. How? Why?
The other pair suddenly appear, now claiming that they've been lost for FIVE days and not less than one. What is happening?
After three of the pair are picked off (mostly off-camera, because f#%k you), the guy finds a Cabin out of nowhere.
Naturally, he goes inside, leading to what made me want to skip writing a non-SPOILER Review...
The other Girl goes inside with him, but only after waiting outside for a Scene. She's attacked by the Townie Guy- now with a beard, because magic- and has to crawl through a tunnel.
When she gets out, she now has his old Camera (which uses DV Tapes) and...shoots the Video that got them out there in the first place. I'll give you a moment to either a) groan b) applaud c) some combination of the two.
The pair eventually get together and seek shelter in the corner, since the Witch can't kill you there now (apparently). Never mind how anything worked before...and it doesn't matter, since 'she' just cheats by tricking you into turning slightly towards her.
Oh and this is the Blair Witch (in one of like 3 half-second frames in which she appears). I hope it was worth the 17-year or so wait. The End.
I wanted to not hate this. To be fair, the only Blair Witch thing I kind of liked was that VHS tie-in that just had people telling interesting Stories that I'll never see. That said, the Movie had lots of hype and promise behind it. It was still Blair Witch. It was still Found Footage. So here's the problem: the Plot. The whole thing hinges upon you just accepting some truly strange and stupid things. So the Blair Witch has time-magic? The Blair Witch waits 20 years to trick this guy into coming back? The Witch killed everyone and then just went to Europe to 'find herself' or something? There's no explanation for why anything actually happens here. The 'joy' of a time loop is it setting itself up to happen. In this case, it warped reality and time itself to bury a tape for a guy to discover to then upload on YouTube for a guy to see while having a Documentary made about him...so that they would go and subsequently make the tape that brought them there. Are you with me? It is a pointless twist, right? What does it serve? It just raises 6,003 questions and raises the stakes about 2%. Worth it? So if you want a generally-better experience with a Blair Witch Film that just s--ts the bed with the Plot Twist (and all that builds it up). Incidentally, since I Google-searched these Images (as I watched a Blu-Ray), I was generally amused that this picture came up next to the group shot from earlier. I couldn't make this up...
On one hand, it avoids most of the awful stuff from the Original. On the other hand, f--king time loops made by a Slender Man Witch.
He's driven to go back by a YouTube Video uploaded by this guy on the end of a woman in the same Woods who looks like her. Remember this.
As it turns out, the Witch didn't do the latter- it was the Townies. Remember this.
The other pair suddenly appear, now claiming that they've been lost for FIVE days and not less than one. What is happening?
Naturally, he goes inside, leading to what made me want to skip writing a non-SPOILER Review...
When she gets out, she now has his old Camera (which uses DV Tapes) and...shoots the Video that got them out there in the first place. I'll give you a moment to either a) groan b) applaud c) some combination of the two.
Oh and this is the Blair Witch (in one of like 3 half-second frames in which she appears). I hope it was worth the 17-year or so wait. The End.
Weren't there elements of warping time/space in all the Blair Witch movies? IIRC the film of the first one was supposedly found buried under the foundations of an old house... from a time before it could have existed.
ReplyDeleteI think the sequel also had something like that too.
Anyway, that's element doesn't bother me... but showing the witch, to any degree, just seems wrong-headed.
To answer your question, there is nothing inherently-proving any sort of weird time stuff in either Film.
DeleteThere are some vague, unexplained things that are now 'being explained' as being evidence of this new Plot Point.
I've seen nothing from the people behind to confirm anything other than them pulling this crazy idea out of their ass.