2,200th Post Celebration: Come Out And Play

Seriously, I really need a hobby!  We're up to the 2,200th Post here at Mondo Bizarro.  In honor of that monumental achievement, here's the recent Remake of a film that very few people in America have actually seen.  Yeah, I could see why you would do that.  The film in question: Who Can Kill A Child?  The remake: Come Out and Play.  You know what I love? It's renaming your Remake to make it not obvious that you are one.  You also get bonus points for removing the line from the original film that actually *makes the title apply.*  Seriously, there is a line in Child about inviting the Adults to 'come out and play.'  It's not in this film.  We're off to a great start.  Can the film get one more strike against it?  The Director is some guy called 'Makinov.'  Yeah, that does it.  In all seriousness, I've meant to watch/review this since I saw it on Streaming awhile back.  The time is now!  The short version: killer kids chase a couple around.  To see if this feels familiar in more ways than one, read on...

The film is all about build-up.  It takes a while to actually get to the interesting stuff.

In place of all that interesting shit, here's a shot of our hero taking a piss.  Yes, this happens.

Just like in Children of the Corn- which, to be fair, was published a year after the original was released-, the couple wander around for a bit until they see a child or two.  It's a while still until they actually see a reason to be scared of him.

This film does have one issue: if the kids started killing everyone yesterday, how did the barely-mobile old man live this long?

When you're faced with small children who could easily be knocked down, it's best to run away!

Yes, they do kill people, but I think even The Orphans could take out these...well, orphans.

I won't SPOIL what happens to him, but I will say this: you sir are a moron.  Seriously- you're dumb as shit!

Our heroes seek a place to hide in Gatlin, but...wait...wrong movie.  Pretend you didn't see that.

I also won't SPOIL the context of this shot, but I will say that the scene in question begs to be explained.  Naturally, it is not.

Look- mystery is neat and all, but there's a point where you really just can't be bothered to explain a thing.

Like in the original film, the point where the question about whether you can kill a child is kind of disappointing.  They treat it dramatically, but it really just exposes a fallacy in Film Standards.

Can our heroes survive?  Can the Children be stopped?  Will the girl on the far left learn to look in the right direction and not at her Mother?  To find out, watch the movie!  The End.

I suppose some of you may be more bothered by this.  Here's the thing: I'm a little jaded.  That said, I'm not going to pretend that the idea of these kids stabbing people to death, playing with heads and making ear necklaces was amusing.  The problem is that some major concession have to be made for us (as people) to allow this film to happen.  In one scene where they stab a guy, we never see the (prop) knife in the same shot as the body.  Is it because they couldn't afford to fake stabbings?  Of course not.  We just can't allow the image of a kid *actually* stabbing a guy to happen.  Likewise, the idea of showing violence done directly towards anyone under (around) 16 is just now allowed.  As the 2009 Remake of Corn showed us, you can murder LOTS of teenagers, but don't touch that fourteen year-old!  Mind you, I'm not *calling* for scenes of children being tortured or anything- I just want equality.  As far as the film goes, you have to accept that they don't want to explain alot, accept that the a lot of the kid actors aren't that good at looking scary (which is why only a few appear constantly) and accept that everything is going to be bleak.  I wasn't all that impressed by the total package, but it's got lots of atmosphere.  If you're open-minded and not afraid of a film that (kind of) touches upon our taboos, check it out.  It says a lot that not much has changed in a film that's a Remake of one made 36 years earlier.  Take us away, crass American marketing...

Next up, another WWE Films Production.  Instead of something new, it's a sequel to a John Cena film without The Champ.  Stay tuned...