For my 100th post, I thought that a special treat was in order. Having covered so many weird, obscure films, I thought you might appreciate a closer look at a weird, well-known film. It actually makes less sense when you analyze it deeply. Let's really get in close and take a look at the anthology film known as...
This film is a classic, bottom-line. But one of the tales is immensely full of holes and features some really underdeveloped, well, everything. It's called...
Something to Tide You Over
To begin with, starting a horror tale with a pun is not that good. You don't see a story like The Pit and the Pendulum called 'Swing By For Dinner' or 'A Slice of Death,' do you? I didn't think so.
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The story begins with a man waking up to find himself buried in the sand by the ocean. An eerie man finally makes his presence known. That man is...Leslie Nielsen. Wait, what? I can understand why the star might like to play something different- this being right after Airplane and it's sequel- but why would you hire him? It makes as much sense as hiring Dan Akroyd for the intro to Twilight Zone: The Movie.
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Leslie explains that he found out about our hero and his wife having an affair. You don't double-cross Mr. Magoo like that! He sets down a television and explains that all will be made clear when he reaches the other side of the island. He plugs the thing in and drives off, leaving a long cord in his wake.
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First off, it's explained that he is very rich. I get that. I can see how one might buy a really long cable for something like this, but one miles long? Does any store sell one for such a purpose? Maybe CostCo, but that is pushing it.
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Evil Leslie Nielsen finally hooks the two TVs together and our hero can see his gal pal in the same fate as him on the other side of the island. The man's evil plan is to make them watch themselves slowly die with the imminent tide. Slowly but surely, this happens. Of course, this is Stephen King, so you know that our tale does not end here.*
Later that night, the two corpses begins to crawl from the ocean and towards the villain's house. What did this? Good question. Maybe the Re-Animator lab is on the next island and they dumped out their old chemicals. They never tell us. This is the best that the guy who gave us Silver Bullet and Christine could do.
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As he comes from the shower,- ooh, water again, so clever- they break in to his house. Slowly...and I mean slowly...they approach him and kill him. Wow, it was all so ironic how they killed him after he killed them. Wait! No, it's not. This story makes no sense.
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Detective stories are always written backwards- you solve the problem and then write the build-up. Maybe Stephen King should have tried this tactic here. It is neat how you get a creative killing, but, when you have no common sense to back it up, it all feels shallow- no pun intended. Let's not even get into any more about casting the star of Spy Hard and Repossessed as your devious villain and the guy from Cheers (Ted Danson) as your protagonist.
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Honestly, the rest of the film is quite good. There is a bit of suspension of disbelief in there at times, but it is better handled than here. Now, Creepshow 2 has two different tales with curious story elements and stupid writing to them. I'll tackle those tomorrow. Stay tuned...
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