Ohhhh....Creep out!: Creepshow 2

After picking apart one stupid story in Creepshow, I want to ream two tales from Creepshow 2. Seems fitting enough. Let's start with...

Old Chief Woodn'Head

This suffers from a similar problem that Something to Tide You Over does. I don't mean the pun title, though this is not exactly a great one either.

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The film introduces us to an elderly couple (George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour) who run a dime store in what is nearly a ghost town. Notice how they hired another actor from Naked Gun films here, but, thankfully, he is not the villain. That role is played a cocky young man. For no apparent reason other than 'they can,' him and his friends decide to rob the place. During the course of this, they kill both old people.

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An investigation ensues, but, being the sheriff's son, nothing comes of it for our villain. Cue the magical anthropomorphism of the wooden Indian statue on the front porch. Want to guess what happens to the young men? I didn't think so.
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So how did the Indian come to life? How did it have any ability to move- what with no muscular system or anything? How did it sneak up on several people and kill them? How did a story like this get out with no back-story or explanation? Ohhh, I know. It's magic; you don't have to explain it.

The Raft

A group of attractive co-eds drive off into the woods to go swimming in a 'swimmin' hole.' They get on a movable dock and let it float out into the center of the lake. They pay no attention to the giant, floating black ooze coming their way.
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The mysterious monster cuts the rope holding their raft to the shore, trapping them. Well, they are not trapped until they decide to let the thing slowly come over to them and surround them. They could have gotten away in the five minutes or so it takes to get there.
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Surrounded on all sides by the vague, oozy monster, they panic and argue. That's healthy. One-by-one, they die in gooey, sticky ways. The worst one is when someone gets pulled into the water by the beast, not realizing that the slots between the planks are, you know, there. One of them tries to swim away- finally- but still gets eaten. Nice try.
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Where to begin? First off, who is that freaking stupid? You see an unnatural ooze coming your way and do nothing? You can't think that anything bad could happen from this? Plus, what is this monster? They don't say. Why is it there? They don't say. What is the message of this story? Don't ignore industrial pollution, I guess.

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In closing, does it kill you guys to explain anything in movies like this. As dumb as it is, stupid stuff like Jason coming back to life in Part 6 is explained. Nothing is explained, but we are supposed to just accept it. Doing films in short form is not an excuse to be lazy idiots. Explain things!

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There is actually an official and unofficial version of Creepshow 3. Should I dare watch either one? We'll see.

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I have some Mondo fun in mind for tomorrow. Stay tuned...