Tubi Thursday: Severed Tied (1992)

 Another catch-up review, as I featured the German Box Art for this Film in 2019.

How is the actual Film though?

In this Fangoria-produced Film, a man is trying to replicate his dead Father's work.

He is trying to make a plasmid to allow limbs to be regrown.

It worked out for Curt Connors!

His Mom (Elke Sommers- above) is controlling him, while Hans (Oliver Reed) has his own motivations!

Can he make it work?

Yes, although it comes at the cost of his left arm- which is cut off by a laser.

He injects himself with the seemingly successful formula.

He ends up with some kind-of crazy Hobos- led by Garrett Morris- and continues his work.

You see, the formula worked.  His new arm is real...and reptilian...and alive on its own.

Okay, worked requires a few caveats, I suppose.

He keeps up his work, giving Morris a new leg.

Mom and Hans keep trying to find him and take his new lady- Eve.

Can he come back and get his revenge?
It is complicated.
To find out, stream it now.

A fun, chaotic Horror Film- at least to a point.  

The Plot is crazy, featuring random Black and White Flashbacks- right around the time that The Real World started doing Testimonials like that-, a bunch of odd Characters & many twists and turns.

Does it get too weird?
For many people, yes.
I'm still in it to win it for the crazy- like with Society or other Films.  It sure is alot to keep up with- no question.

I'm not sure that I ultimately love the way the Film wraps up- no SPOILERS though.
Crazy to think that this Director would go on to Direct Disney TV Shows and Movies (like Another Cinderella Story), Bring It On Again & Pure Country: Pure Heart.

I can see why the German distributor put a fake connection to The Thing in there.  The body horror- which is mostly done with puppet arms- is good.

Like with Children of the Night, you can see the Fangoria influence here.  I guess I need to see Mindwarp now, don't I?

A fun Film that is a bit all over the place Plot-wise.  For a creature feature, it is good, bloody fun though.

Riffed Films: The Demons of Ludlow (1983)

 In lieu of accidentally repeating content, let's cover a Film that I didn't even know about before Rifftrax.

Bill Rebane is a name that only the most dedicated of cinephiles will know right away.  That or those who watched too much MST3K.

Who am I kidding- they are the same people!

Made famous for The Giant Spider Invasion, he also did (most of) Monster Go-go, The Alpha Incident, The Capture of Bigfoot (which Lloyd Kauffman lists as one of the WORST Films he ever distributed), Blood Harvest, Twister's Revenge (a Film I've owned as part of a 50-Movie Set and never watched...yet) and... a Hallmark Christmas film?!?

This is The Demons of Ludlow, a low-budget Film he did in 1983.  As someone who loves John Carpenter Films, I sure was 'excited' to see someone ripping one off.

To see how silly (and droll) this gets, read on...

A Town called Ludlow is gifted a Piano...or is it a Harpsicord...or a Harmonium by its past residents, who now reside in Britain.

It was said to be owned by the Founders before being taken away a century ago.

What's the harm?

Well, it apparently summons Ghosts (or Demons?) from the Past to kill people.

Not the people that play it mind you (since it needs them), but someone else nearby.

The rules are...lazy.

For instance, the woman above plays it and the 'Demons' kill her Daughter instead.

Insert Low-Budget Horror Film Nudity here.

The two folks who run the Town Newspaper (a Town with 47 people in it, mind you) think that something is up.

What is causing the Demons to kill?

Well, the Harmonium was owned by the Founders, who were betrayed by others in the Town and killed.

Now they want revenge.

So...it is just The Fog, but with confusing Costumes, Bad Writing and Terrible Pacing.

Will the survivors (who are also descendants of the betrayers) live to stop the Demons?

Well, this looks and feels like a '70s Horror Film...so, no.

The End.

Ooh boy.  This one is bad.

It is mostly the boring kind of bad, unfortunately.

Even with Rifftrax, I watched this in 2 sittings.  Long, long shots of meandering and looking around are presented in High-Def (thanks to a 2020 HD copy in use now).

Yes, this Film got a Blu-Ray release!

Rifftrax, in my opinion, is probably the best way to watch this.  They make great jokes- like a Kirk Hammet reference of all things- and fill out the slow, padded Scenes of people walking around.

It is one thing to watch someone 'pointlessly meander,' but another to watch it while people joke about how 'I'm a fan of pointless meandering, but even THIS is too much for me.'

I'm sure that Mr. Rebane is a nice man.  I just wish that he made a nice Movie- especially in my birth year.

Take us away, familiar floating hand from many, MANY Movie Posters...

A bad Film with a silly- if unoriginal- Premise.  This is another one of those 'Why not Remake This- It Can't Be Worse' Films.

Shudder Day: Destroy All Neighbors (2024)

 Am I watching enough Shudder content to justify paying for it every Month?
Probably not, but I did check out this newer Film from them.

Jonah Ray Rodrigues is back again in another Horror Comedy called...

A man- Rodrigues- is working a Job as a Sound Engineer at a Record Company.

His dream, however, is to create a brand new, transcendent Prog Rock Album.

Too bad his Neighbors make things very difficult.

This is especially true of Vlad (Alex Winter in disguise) who plays loud EDM, grunts and just generally is never quiet.

All attempts to deal with this normally (well, normally for him) don't work.

This makes things bad for him outside of home as he's haunted by strange visions, memories of recent events and can't sleep.

When your homelife is so bad that you get fired, things need to change.

Well, as the Title might imply, he gets that change in his life.

Naturally, chaos (and laughs) ensue.

Can he work things out?
Can you come back for this much death around you?

Does anyone need me to explain what Prog Rock is?

To find out the answers to 2 of those questions, stream it now.

A fun Film that is very, VERY quirky.  I can't emphasize that enough.

Fans of straight Horror or even straight Horror Comedy may not love this one.  It has some good moments- no question.
Much of it, however, hinge on whether or not you 'get' the Film's humor.

The Film lives and dies by the odd exchanges of dialog between the Actors, combined with the odd visuals that only get stranger as the Film progresses.  There are moments- like the Scene with Kumail Nanjiani- that really work well.

If you're into straight Horror, just know what to expect.

As for me, I dug the weird vibe, quirky characters AND the fact that it features a handsome man named 'Alec' in it...

Good fun with splatter, humor and bizarre occurrences.  Just make sure that you're the audience for this one or you'll not enjoy it (kind of like Prog Rock in general, really).

King Me: Stephen King's The Stand (1994) *Part 4*

 A big finale is upon us!

To see what happened in Part 1, go here.
For Part 2, here.
For Part 3, here.

Now, let's get to Standing!

Right off the bat, Flagg makes Harold crash his bike.  Nadine lives him.

He offs himself the next day and that wraps up that Arc!

Flagg can identify two of the Spies, but not the third.
Tom 'M-O-O-N spells MOON' Cullen is apparently immune because...um...let's not go there.

So, he needs his men to capture the ones he knows and get the information.

His men accidentally kill The Judge (thanks for nothing, Ossie Davis) and he pops up to kill...Sam Raimi?!?

For all my complaints about Flagg's absence in the last 3 parts, he more than makes up for it here.

This is The Randal Flagg Show, co-starring everyone else.

He tries to interrogate the other Spy (Dayna- who helped restore power, but now just wears lingerie).
She tries to kill him, but he morphs and laughs it off.

She offs herself (a weird theme here) and he gets no information.

Things go better in the Desert where he finally meets Nadine in person (or, in creature, to be more accurate).  

He has his way with her, the woman realizing too late that he's a Monster.

Things go worse when he takes her back to Vegas, she freaks out and, you guessed it, offs herself- denying him his demon baby.

As random luck would have it, the mean lady from Part 2 (aka Shawnee Smith) is now in Vegas and spots Tom Cullen leaving.

He sends folks out to get him in the Desert, including...John Landis?!?

Our Heroes, meanwhile, are wandering through the Desert- like in the Bible, you see- and Sinise breaks his leg.

He asks them to leave him behind, which works out well in the end.

The other three are captured near the border and Ray Walston is killed.

The other two are tied in a cross-like manner- again, like the Bible, you see- and given a 'show trial' for a bombing done by Trashcan Man.

Speaking of him, he did find one of the Nukes and drives it into the City towed behind an ATV.
Google says that the missiles can weigh anywhere between 600 lbs. and 79,000 lbs., so...is that even possible?

Regardless, the Hand of God appears- since every King Mini-Series needs usually dodgy CGI in Act 3- and sets off the bomb, killing everyone.

I guess it is a happy ending for our Heroes...is it?

Sinise and Tom Cullen watch the City explode in the distance.

Time to go home.

They get back by Winter and are met by...Stephen King?!?

Oh right- he was in Part 3 as well.  Never mind.

He tells them that Sinise's baby was born, but there's a catch.

It was born with the flu (how?!?) but manages to survive with the Parents' antibodies.

The Musician's Wife is also going to have a child, so the new Generation will continue.  
The End.

This sure...had lots of things happen.  I did get what I was asking for.

Right off the bat, what was the point of the spies?  They never reported back.  Two of them didn't even come home.  Tom comes home, but only after the bomb goes off.

About the bomb, he hired the crazy guy to bring it to him...and he did.  What was the big plan again?

Randall Flagg is kind of awful as a Character- at least as far as his planning goes.  All of his men fail.  All of his plans fail.  He spends all 4 Parts trying to do them and...fails.

Yes, he does fail to a literal Deus Ex Machina.  Even so, was his plan going to work otherwise?  Doubtful.

The finale leaves so many people out- specifically the people back in Boulder.  It's almost like they spent 90% of the other parts in Boulder and then overcompensated here.

At least we get 3 Director Cameos.

I'd nitpick more, but I think that the Film has become self-aware.

Next time, a random pick from my pile of Horror Remakes from the '00s.  It is a tale of violence, but is the message still there?  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: Eye of the Needle (1981)

 A Film that both relates to this Anniversary AND to Star Wars.
I'll get to the explanation for that later.

This is the seminal Thriller called...

Donald Sutherland is working for British Intelligence in 1940.

Unfortunately (for his Housekeeper), he's also a spy.
Get used to seeing him stab people with that knife (or needle).

Four years later, he's assigned a big task- find out about Operation Overlord.
That's D-Day, in case you missed the 100 Articles about it today.

He gets his proof, but runs into trouble.

More stabbing.

Now he's got to get to Germany and his cover appears to be blown.

He travels by Car, by bike, by train and even by boat.

That leads him to Storm Island (aka the original Title of the Book that this is based on).

He's rescued by Tom, a would-be RAF Pilot who got paralyzed in a car accident on his Wedding Day (right before his deployment).

Things are tense with him and his Wife.

Sutherland bides his time on the Island while he waits for a U-Boat to pick him up.

Things go well for a while, as he hooks up with the lonely Wife.
By the end, however, there's lots of shooting and violence (despite what this happy still says).

To see how it all plays out, stream the Film now.

A really good and tense Film.  It is easy to see why it so well-reknowned.

I'm definitely glad that I picked this over an Asylum Film.  No lie.

Sutherland plays a cold, calculated man that is just shy of pure evil.  You see glimpses of his humanity early on and more by the end.

The Film takes a neat turn once he gets on the (originally) titular Island.  The Plot basically becomes a twisted version of a 1940s Romance Tale.  In those, it is usually two Men (usually in the Army in some capacity) who fall for the same Woman.

In this case, one is a Nazi Spy!

One thing the Film does well is repetition, but with key changes.  Without SPOILing too much for you, it gives you a happy moment involving the Wife.  Later events make the same moment now seem tragic.  It's really well done.

Like with Siege, I'd be interested in seeing a version of this done where we DO NOT know the truth about Sutherland.  Maybe show it in flashbacks or something like that to build the tension on the Island- just a free pitch for when this inevitably gets remade for Paramount + or something.

As for the Star Wars connection mentioned at the top, it was this Film (especially being shot on time and on Budget) that got Director Richard Marquand the gig of directing The Return of the Jedi in 1983.

There's a real killer for you to Direct!

A true classic.  Happy D-Day- you owe it all to this random lady in Scotland!

King Me: Stephen King's The Stand (1994) *Part 3*

 Another look at a Post-Pandemic World where everyone has to live in the West.
*Shudder*

To see what happened in Part 1, go here.
For Part 2, go here.

The Episode begins with some random guy dying from...um, something.

They have a Funeral for him, which is mostly there to introduce Ozzie Davis here as The Judge.
His Wife played the prophetic Mother Abigail.

We soon learn that Sinise and Ringwald became a Couple during the off-screen time jump presented here.

She's also pregnant with his child.

In the Book, she's pregnant BEFORE meeting him and they aren't a Couple, which is key for later.

Over in Las Vegas, Randall Flagg recruits more people to his cause of chaos and debauchery.

He sends Trashcan Man to go find nukes.
He also asserts his mystical control over 2 other people...but that's it.

Our Villain sure is waiting until the last Part to really do much, it seems.

Nadine shows up, now fully as Flagg's Apostle and (possible) Future Wife.  She tries to seduce The Musician (who apparently got married during the time jump) but fails.

Oh, and she's connected to Stephen King's extended Cameo as some guy who also goes to the Colony.

In the most baffling moment so far, they hypnotize Tom Cullen to follow instructions.

You see, they plan on sending 3 Spies into Flagg's territory and he is going to be one of them.

What
The

F**k

She's told to go after Harold, who still loves Ringwald's Character.

It is meant to be a sadly ironic thing that he turns on his friends for no reason.

Here, he has justification- even if he's still terrible for doing it.

He's apparently an expert at making bombs, based on one Scene in Part 1 where he made something...I think.

He also listens to Disco while making his bomb, as you do.

He plants a bomb at the Committee Meeting, but they find out.

Nick sacrifices himself to get everyone out- not that he needed to.

Oh, well- we have pathos, and we can officially not feature him, after barely doing it in Part 3.

Around this time, Mother Abigail left- having felt that she was too proud- and she returns right around the time of the explosion.

Her dying words are that the 4 men (convenient that Nick was blown up, I guess) in charge are to go off into the Desert without supplies.

That's...a plan, I guess.  Let's just abruptly stop there then.

A decent Episode/Section, but I have many, many issues/comments.

The Time Jump is pretty lazy, no?  Why spend time setting up events when you can just say 'It happened between segments?'

Lazy.  
Kind of like saying 'lazy' twice, I suppose.

The actual Plot is fine, even if I have issues with how little Flagg and company do here.  They talk about what they might do.  They send Trashcan Man out.  We see them doing...something for a few minutes and... that's it?

I guess Part 4 is going to be massive...or disappointing.  Given that Part 4 of The Stand is called 'The Stand,' I think I know which way I'm leading.

The bulk of this Part is introducing yet more Characters, sending them off or killing them off and just kind of biding time.

I watched these days apart, but they originally ran one night after another.  I'm curious how the Pacing felt to people back then.  

If you can relate, leave a comment.

As for me, I'm optimistic that the conclusion will be good, but mostly still making this face at the 'Hypnotize Tom Cullen' Scene...

Alright, Mini-Series- take it home.  I want you to be amazing, so...please do it.  See you then...