Tubi Thursday: Marineland Carnival with The Munsters (1965)

Is this a TV Special?
Is this a Musical?
Is this a Comedy?
Is this a Commercial?

Yes.

In 1965, the Munsters went to a California Aquarium/Park to...buy a fish for Eddie?

Yeah, the Story is really flimsy here.  Just go with it!

The main Cast go around and do some schtick (like obviously not Al Lewis climbing a pole or talking to Walruses) ...

...while the 'kids' go see the Musical Act and the Seal Show.

IMDB lists Kenny Rogers as one of the Singers in the New Christy Minstrels, but this was shot cheaply on Film, and it isn't exactly HD...so who knows?

This is Hillbillys in a Haunted House filler though.

On the plus side, we get to see Eddie Munster learn about Porpoises.

That was worth it, right?

Yeah, this was worthwhile...

The End.

I mean, what were you expecting?  This isn't really a Film or Special.
It is an Ad for a Park where you would take your kids to see Seal do tricks and Dolphins flop around.

Ironically, Scorsese saw this and called it 'Cinema.'  Go figure.

All kidding aside, someone here was actually trying.  The Actors play their parts as well as they can.  I can't imagine that it was fun for poor Fred Gwinne in that make-up walking around outside in the hot California Sun.

Your enjoyment of this will be based on a few things- the historical quirkiness of it all, the dated aspects of it or just how strange it all is.

It is The Munsters promoting an Aquarium.
It's weird.

That said, it is a bit long at an hour, in spite of the great Sponsorship of Minute Maid Orange Juice.  I used to love that stuff.

A pretty basic attempt to market a Theme Park on Television.  Other than the filler, they do at least try to work Munsters stuff into this.

'60s Trash: Monsters Crash the Pajama Party (1965)

 At long last, a famous bit of nonsense...just with none of the fun charm that was supposed to be included.

Monsters Crash the Pajama Party is not really a Movie per se- it is the setup to a bigger Spookshow.  Needless to say, sitting at my Computer and watching it is not that thrilling.

Maybe at a Party it is better?
It is only 31 minutes long, after all.

The actual Film itself comes to us from David L. Hewitt, the man who also brought us Dr. Terror's Gallery of Horror(s), The Mighty Gorga and The Wizard of Mars.  Not the best Resume.

The Plot, as it were, involves a Mad Scientist, a Gorilla, some girls and some truly terrible comedy.

To find out if you can enjoy some of this on its own, read on...

A Mad Doctor- with convenient name tag- introduces the tale and does the usual 'no refunds if you die' schtick.

Fun Note- this would be an easy Halloween Costume for me to do (if I did them).
Bad Note- this 31-minute Film has around 6 minutes of Credits at the start.  Fast forward is advised.

A bunch of young ladies (they at least don't all look 30) are staying the night at a 'Haunted House' for a Sorority Initiation.  Won't the Hillbillys need them out before they can move in?

The boys leave, but...I mean, you've seen one of these.  They'll be back.

It isn't Haunted- the Mad Doctor lives down there.

He experiments with his Gorilla (Big G) and Draculina

Who is she?  You're watching the wrong Film if you expect an answer!

The boys get a flat tire (off-camera) and get delayed.  We get a Scooby-Doo-style sneak around the House bit...only this Film predates the Show by 4 years!

The Gorilla catches one girl and the Doctor turns her into a Gorilla (off-screen).

It is her, because she's wearing a nighty...that is the wrong color.

The Gorilla freaks out and knocks out the Doctor, turning her back.  So that was completely pointless.

More drawn out wandering around before a never-before-seen Hunchback helps the Gorilla catch the remaining girls for the Doctor (who got better).

Draculina- who we haven't seen since her one bit in the beginning- picks the blond to be experimented on.

Just then, a Werewolf runs in, loses its pants and runs out.  Thanks for that.

The boys- in masks- run in and...immediately take their masks off.  Huh?

They fight off Big G and throw bombs...that they found (?!?) at the Doctor to escape.

The annoyed Doctor decides to go with Plan B.  He has the laser gun turned towards the Screen to 'blast his way out' and sends in his minions to 'get a new girl.'

If you saw this at an official Spookshow Screening, they would have a plant dressed like that in the Audience to be 'taken' behind the Screen and into the Film.

Neat idea, to be fair, but it means nothing now as an MP4 File, right?

The End.

A weird, but not great part of Film History.  To be fair, the Film removed from everything else is not how it was seen.

Also, to be fair, it is still a terrible, pretty unfunny experience all the same.  It's not like it is good and then stops.  It is bad.  It has 6 minutes of Credits at the start.

Did this work for the 'let's get drunk/high and see something stupid' market back in 1965?  I don't know- I was -18 years old then.  I would be curious to hear someone who actually saw it then though.

I get that he was trying to be silly.  I get that he was being META at times (like when he clearly dubs over the Old Lady and says that he 'read ahead in the Script').

That said, the Acting by the Writer/Producer/Director/Composer is bad.  He fumbles an early line and just left it in.  Was he the Editor too?

As an historical oddity, it's worth a watch.  The Film came with a bunch of Extras, which are probably way better than this.  Watch it once if you're curious.  Just don't expect a quick start.

Next up, let's get another Remake out there.  Will it be cutting or Satanic?  Stay tuned...

Remake This: Prom Night (2008)

 Is it time for another Prom?  Already?  I need to get a new dress!

This is the 2008 Remake of Prom Night...although that's not really fair.  There were a TON of Remakes starting in the 2000s (and continuing to this day).  Many were legit Remakes that tried to either improve on the Story/Setting (My Bloody Valentine) or just copy it (Texas Chainsaw Massacre).

This is a Remake in-name only.  The Plot is different.  Everything is different, save for a killer on Prom Night.

The irony, of course, is that doing a 1-to-1 Remake in 2008 would make people think that they were ripping off I Know What you Did Last Summer- despite doing it first.

The Plot here involves a killer- whose backstory is simply TOLD TO US- coming back for another go on, say it with me, Prom Night!

A new Cast of young people are here and we aren't yet at the Legacy Sequel phase yet, so no Jamie Lee Cameo here.  I'm sad too.

Is it good though?  To find out, read on...

A deranged killer takes out the whole family (rare to see the kid killed in an American Horror Film- even off-camera) to get at our Heroine (Brittany Snow).

She escapes out the front door, but is wounded.

We cut to 3 years later (sure!) and it s the day of the Prom.  Hey, it is Prom NIGHT, not Day.  Get it straight!

She goes to her super-fancy prom (they rented out a Hotel Ballroom in L.A.!).

...unaware of the danger!  The killer is back and now he's not wearing the obviously fake wig and beard.

A Deleted Scene explains how he managed to fool them for 3 days, giving him this head start.

In the Theatrical Cut, they just don't tell the Cops for 3 days.  Whoops.

The Police eventually help out...by doing nothing, save for the Lead Cop watching.

When they finally find the bodies left behind, Idris Elba here finally acts.

Of course, they clear the whole building out and DO NOT WATCH the one person they are supposed to.

The killer finds her.
Oops.

She escapes and the Killer somehow escapes, despite every exit being watched.  Huh?

The killer has his one last hurrah as he follows her home.  How does he know her address?
Good question.

He manages to kill a Cop and a boyfriend, but is taken out by Elba.  No Sequel for you!

A decent Film, even if there's not much new here.  Actually, is there anything new here?

The setup is played differently (beginning with her being in danger) and it curiously skips right to the titular Night.  That pacing is a bit interesting.

Other than that, there's nothing that exciting here.  A pretty basic Setup, a pretty basic execution and the kills are muted.

This one is infamously a PG-13 Horror Film, which makes some people hate it without even seeing it.
Is there no blood?  Mostly, yes.  Does that make the Film bad on its own?  No.

Less than week out from seeing it, however, I couldn't tell you any of the Characters' names and barely recall their motivations.  It's just alright, but quite forgettable.
That's not a knock on the Actors- they do fine.  The material is just so ho-hum, that's all.

Ooh, you should realize an Unrated Version.  It will be...one minute longer?!?!?!?

Next time, I cover a cheesy 'Classic' from the 1960s.  Is it really all gimmick and won't work for home viewing?  See you then...

Holiday TV: 'The Baron's Bride' (Friday the 13th, The Series)

 It is another Friday the 13th (in October, no less), so let's watch another Episode of...

In this Episode, they try to get a hold of a magical cloak, but run afoul of a vampire as well!

This is...

Our Heroes go to retrieve a magical cloak, but there's a catch- a vampire is involved.

She invites a man to take the Guest Room...and bites him.

They arrive and are too late to stop it.  

They manage to kill her with, ironically enough, the yard sign she staked out in front of the House.

However, the newly-vampiric man gets blood on the cloak and sends himself (alongside our heroes) back in time!

So, to be clear, it is a magic coat that makes women fall in love with you...and also time travels if you get blood on the pendant.  Sure.

They arrive in the late 19th Century England and meet Abraham.  He's a Writer.

And yes, it will be in black and white from now on.

Somehow, the Vampire got sent to the same time, but also a different alley, so he's on the loose.

He's entranced our Female Lead and she tries to fight it...but not very well.

Said Vampire is also going through some...changes, as it were.

I think there's a cream for that.

In the End, Abraham's Fiancée is killed by the Vampire and he takes his would-be Bride.

Abraham recovers from his grief to stake the Vampire and the duo return home.

It is only then that they find out who Abraham was- he was Bram Stoker. 
Oh boy!

It doesn't suck, but there's also not much bite.  Vampire puns complete.

The Plot is fine, but they don't do a whole lot with the time travel premise.  We don't get much from the premise really on the low-budget TV setting.  I like the black-and-white look though- that helps.

Their vampire looks nice though- both of them, in fact.  That's a plus.

It is funny in a way to watch this right before Marvel releases the COLOR version of their Werewolf by Night Special that originally ran in black-and-white.  Oh the irony.

Do I wonder why the magical cloak entrances women and also time travels?  Yes.
Do they explain it?  No.
Any clues, Jack?

A decent Episode with a weird combo of Vampire and Time Travel Premises.  I just wish that this wasn't mostly just Quantum Leap with a bit of horror.

Tubi Thursday: Dracula Reborn (2015)

 I almost want to apologize to last week's Movie.  It could have been worse.

Let's see what this Film with the same name does worse.

A random, hooded man attacks a woman under a bridge.  He drains her blood.  Slowly.

What is going on?

Well, in classic Tell, Don't Show, we learn that Dracula (usually spelled as 'Drakula' in the Subtitles and Captions) is a) Real, b) a Cult Leader and c) behind a series of murders.

Despite how serious and grounded the Film tries to be, this is Dracula/Drakula.

The Film is basically these sections mixed up and drawn out...

Our Heroes sit around and discuss the secret codes/cyphers

A random Vampire lunges at, bites and drains someone for about 5 minutes.

Random shots of Paris.

People talking about nothing.

At least they use CG and real (fake) blood effects.

As a bonus, our Cast appears to speak English as their 2nd language- at best- so the Dialog sounds even less lifelike than it should.

Granted- I'd sound terrible acting in French...so I wouldn't do it (either thing)

Not David Duchovny agrees to take out Heroes to Transylvania for $10,000 to find Drac/Drak.

When they go to his home territory, will things go well?

I mean, he's been killing them in Paris, so...no.

Oy vey!  This one is slow.  This one is dull.

I think they wanted it to seem 'gritty and realistic.'  It is just plain dull.

Again- the Acting and Dialog aren't great.  I don't 100% blame the Actors.  The Writer is not helping here either.

I don't like to be the 'f**k this Movie' guy- honestly.
That said, this one is so boring, so drawn out and just plain pointless.

Plus, this is the Title...so yeah, 'f**k this Movie.'

A Film by a man with a very prolific Filmography.  That said, it was as an Assistant Cameraman and not a Director...which shows.

Slasher Flix: Prom Night (1980

 At long last, the Prom I never really had!

Granted- I went to a Private School, didn't care about any of that and only mention this now for the joke.

This is Prom Night, a 1980 Slasher Film that came right at the start.  Did it inspire so many Films that would follow?  Was it uneventful?  Is it very common to find in multi-Film sets for whatever reason?

Yes to 2 of those.  Find out which below.

The Film is *technically* Canadian (shot there to be cheaper) and is, of course, notable for being part of Jamie Lee Curtis' early Scream Queen Career.  Kind of crazy to think that she's come back to that in the late '90s and in the last few years, right?  It is a shame that Tubi couldn't have sprung for her in their Terror Train Remake (or its Sequel).

The Plot involves a killer at Prom Night.  Is it someone with a grudge?  Is it a random weirdo?  Is it the escaped killer?  Is it the one they obviously set up and not the red herrings?

Last but not least, it is worth mentioning that Director Paul Lynch has been featured here a few times in the past.

To find out if this is an often overlooked classic, read on...

The Film opens with a bunch of kids chasing around/scaring one of them.  Is this a Children of the Corn Film?

They make them back up out of a window...and then seem surprised that this happened.  
Kids are dumb.

Years later, the kids are all grown up and it is nearly Prom Night.
You should name a Film that!

They start to get mysterious calls from a breathy person...who is definitely not Ghostface.

Let's not worry about this too much though.

You all need to get Dates.
You all need to Disco Dance!

The terror seems to be real eventually as the Night approaches...for a few minutes.

In the meantime, let's introduce an Escaped Killer into the Story...in Reshoots.
Thanks, Detective Not Appearing in the Original Footage.

It is the Third Act, so the killer finally gets off their butt and starts killing folks.

Finally!  I mean...darn?

Can anyone stop the killer?!?

Will they find out who it is in time?

This reveal made a List of Most Disappointing Killer Reveals, so...not great.  I won't SPOIL it here though.

A decent Film, just know what to expect from it.  It is not Friday the 13th.  It is not A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Early Slashers like this tried to be more cerebral and about the mystery.  Did they always succeed?  No.
They sure tried though.

So just know that this Film is front-loaded with setup and then packs all of the kills (save one) for the Third Act.  It isn't bad Setup.  It is not boring.  It just isn't what you're probably expecting.

It is funny to see how much this Film did influence other Films.  Aside from the mentioned ones, we have the Plot of I Know What You Did Last Summer (and yes, it is loosely based on a 1973 Book) and the look of the killer in The Prowler.  It isn't called or treated like a big influence, but it was one.

Amusingly, some stuff slips by that doesn't obey the rules, like a Virgin Character being targeted for death.  How absurd!

Prom Night is a very different kind of Slasher...since it was made so early in the Sub-Genre.  I just want you to go in with realistic expectations.  I hate to see you get disappointed.

Next time, let's check out the Remake.  I mean, they call it that...but it isn't really.  You'll see.  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Primal Rage (1988)

 A Review held off for reasons that should become clear shortly.

It is not the Fighting Game- it is the Italian Horror Film with a full American Cast instead.  This is...

At a normal College, our Hero is a Reporter who makes some new friends.

He also wants to break a big, important story.

Well, he gets close.

His Photographer friend accidentally breaks out and gets bitten by a monkey whose brain was being experimented on by Bo Svenson (and his '80s ponytail).

There are probably no side effects, right?

Wrong!  He slowly becomes infected with a rage virus of sorts.

Eat your (or someone else's) heart out, 28 Days Later!

He infects his new girlfriend- and Main Character's Girlfriend's Roommate- and she too turns!

Bo offers to help (to avoid having the Police called) and, well, he's an Authority Figure in a Horror Film.

Guess what happens to him.

Before she's caught, however, she was grabbed by a trio of creeps from earlier.  In classic 'this was acceptable in the '80s' fashion, they try to...have their way with her, but all get bitten and/or scratched.

They get wasted and turn faster, dressing up like skeletons to attend *dun dun dun* the College's Halloween Party!

Here's them killing 'Dracula.'

They casually kill people at the Party while the same song plays for what feels like 15 minutes.  It's not bad...for the first 10 minutes.

So now our two Leads have to take out 3 super strong psychos.  Will that be difficult?

Actually, it will be super easy, barely an inconvenience.

The (bloody) end.

A fun, if completely dumb Film.  The Film alternates between splatter fest designed to show off its practical effects and drama all of the time.  It is...weird.  It is jarring.

Why so much blood?  Well, it was Directed by Vittorio (or Victor) Rambaldi- the son of Carlos Rambaldi.  Prosthetics, creature design (like E.T.) and this kind of stuff was his thing.

Is there a reason to see this one other than the '80s gore effects?  Not really.
Is that usually enough for people like me?  Yes.

The Film has this weird tendency to look fairly ageless at times and then abruptly remind you that it is from the '80s.  Things are normal enough and then *WHAM* 'Avoid the Noid' Poster.  Or *BAM* ALF doll.

If you know what you're in for, you'll enjoy it.

That said, when I used Google to get my images, I came across a 2018 Film with the same name and...I think I need to see that now too.

Lots of gore and overall silliness, mixed with abrupt melodrama.  It is a weird, but fun mix.