Quick Reviews: 7 Faces of Dr. Lao

So this hasn't...well, aged well.  In spite of this, it won an Oscar, so let me cover it like it's a Classic Film with no conditions...

The titular Dr. Lao comes to a Western Town with his Circus.

It's a shame that no Asian Actors were around in 1964, right?

There's barely a Plot- some Trump-like guy wants to sell the Town- so let me just focus on what won this Film an Honorary Oscar.

Tony Randall plays multiple Characters here, including this Soothsayer...

Merlin (taking time away from making magic powder for Santa Claus in the 5th Dimension)...

...and this 'Sea Monster' (among others).

Well, they SAY he plays this creature, but it's a mix of puppet and Claymation, so...I guess Ray Harryhausen was a prolific Actor too.

He also plays Pan, who seduces a School Teacher by turning into the visage of her would-be Boyfriend.  So now a 2nd person is playing Pan, eh Tony?

Seriously though, this Film was made FOR ALL AGES even though Pan was going to straight up bone that lady if nobody walked in!

The main Plot is undone by use of Stock Footage (from another George Pal Film about Atlantis) and magic.

For one last Scene though, the Koi Fish turns into Nessie when it is out of water.  Just go with it!

Lao leaves and everyone is better...I guess.  The End.

What an odd Film.  The basic premise is kind of interesting.  There's obviously a lot of racial stuff to unpack with it.  If you can get put that aside, the Plot kind of starts and stops quite often.  Here's all of the Plot set-up in the first 20 minutes.  Now we're going to just hang out at Dr. Lao's Circus and progress pretty much none of it.  More Plot!  Now look at more Circus stuff.  Hey, it's me Plot again!  They could have blended this together a lot more smoothly.  Some stuff with the titular 'faces' are important for Characters, but could easily be used to move the Story forward.  Likewise, you could have paced the Circus stuff out more evenly.  In the end, this is a spectacle for silly make-up effects and a gimmick that is pretty unnecessary.  Is it impressive that you made Randall up in 6 different looks?  Sure.  Did you need to do it?  No.  Oh well, enjoy your Oscar.  Speaking of Randall, he does show up as himself in a Cameo, but they had to give him a (modified) lady's wig to look like himself!

A bizarre little Film that is a great showcase for make-up effects.  When it comes to everything else, not so much.

Quick Reviews: Incredibles 2

How do I follow a low-budget Horror-Comedy that's not for kids?  With a big-budget Animated Film that is!  Makes sense if you don't think about it.

Following right after the first Film ended (why?), our Heroes are still in trouble with the law.  They are introduced to a man who wants to change all that.

He's Bob Odenkirk, so you should naturally trust him!

Working more directly with the Sister, the group is split up as they want Elastigirl as the Star...of their Campaign, that is.

Can they stop a new Villain?

Stuck at home (since Men never do this?), hilarity ensues as Mr. Incredible watches the family, made harder by Jack-Jack's sudden and random powers!

On her own, Elastigirl tries to make the world accept Heroes again.  She inspires many to come out!

When things take an obvious bad turn in the Third Act, can the day be saved by...the kids?

To find out, watch the Movie (now Streaming on Netflix- for now).

A solid follow-up.  I took a little issue with this right off the bat.  Why did we need to go right from the last one when it took SOOOO long to get a new one made?  Why not at least put a little bit of a time-jump in there?  Granted- the Film made a Billion Dollars, so maybe it is above reproach in that regard.  Talking about the actual Film, it was fine.  It has the same visual style that I liked about the first one, only having some weird body issues with a few characters.  Seeing more 'supers' was nice too, even if one is just there to rip off Portal.  They do enough to make this not exactly feel like the first one again, while also not going too far and making it weird.  I'm looking at you, Cars 2!  It's nice and progressive to let Elastigirl take center and Mr. Incredible works well at being flustered.  Both of their Arcs are nice too.  The Films visual-style works and it definitely shines as a big-budget Animated Film.  My big gripe is just that there's not much in the way of surprises- at least for me.  I was never surprised by anything, but maybe I'm just jaded and watch too many Films.  Regardless, (no The) Incredibles 2 is a fun, efficient Film that I could recommend to anyone in the mood for that kind of thing.  One other little thing- why did they copy the lady from Megamind?!?

A good Film, even if the twists and turns weren't exactly hard to spot.  Brad Bird says that he doesn't make 'Kid's Films,' so I'll judge them accordingly.

Holiday Trash: Psychos in Love (1987)

This is still not the weirdest love story ever featured here on Valentine's Day!  This is Psychos in Love, a 1987 Film that is part-Mockumentary, part-Horror and all strange!  It is chock full of zero-budget kills and gore.  It is a love story.  It features 'talking to the camera' bits like you would see more commonly after stuff like The Office.  Is a Film this weird and silly ahead of its time?!?  I'm pretty sure it's just a take-off on Dating Videos of the time, so 'no.'  In any event, the Film is hard to really pin-down as far as a Genre.  It has a higher body count than some Friday the 13th Films, so it's Horror.  It's tongue (firmly) in cheek, so it's Comedy.  It breaks the 4th Wall at random points, so it's Satire.  It's...just plain weird.  When two killers find love, can they make it work?  Furthermore, do you care?  To find out, read on...

This is our Romantic Lead.  He is introduced by way of killing off three ladies- who don't get names.

This is our other Romantic Lead.  She is introduced by killing a couple of man- who don't get names.

When they meet up, they discover a mutual love of killing and a hatred of grapes.  It's a joke, so they run that into the ground about 50 times.

Also in this town of wherever-they-live exists a Cannibal Plumber.  His part in the Story is...kind of pointless.  More on that later though.

The happy couple begin to kill together and apart.  In other words, this Film has no real Plot, so here are some murder scenes.

They eventually get married and realize that they love each other more than they love killing.  They find a new hobby...

VHS Tapes.  Holy Xenu, I feel old now!

Remember that Cannibal?  The Film finally did as he shows up and tries to blackmail the killers.

Our Hero's response- to break the 4th Wall and monologue for no reason.

In a total cop-out, they turn off the lights and our Heroes survive.  More 4th Wall Breaking and then an awkward 'Comedy' Scene (with more 4th Wall breaks- see below) and we're out.

A weird and confusing mess of a Film.  Is it funny?  Is it bloody?  Is it serious?  Is it a Comedy?  Is it a Thriller?  The whole thing has a real Troma Film vibe, but it isn't one of theirs.  There is not much Film here and that's a problem.  It begins with a series of random kills, continues to have them interspersed throughout and never really becomes much of a narrative.  The only story is the duo hooking up and finding love.  Beyond that, it's just random killing and the Plumber Sub-Plot.  About that, he's kind of useless.  He has his big Scene, appears a bit later and then shows up for the Finale.  The less said about that confusing joke of a Finale, the better.  The 4th Wall breaks could be fun if they served a real purpose- they don't.  Hell, even the opening parts of them talking like they're in a Dating Video don't really pan out.  Do they just learn that they're in a Movie?  Does that help this at all?  This could be a fun and interesting Film in different hands.  As it is, Psychos in Love is just a weird mess of a Film that squanders potential.  Oh well.  About those 4th Wall Breaks, they actually end the Film on a confusing one.  They argue about where to eat and he says that they 'had Chinese Food recently.'  Her reply- 'Yeah, in Scene 22.'

Next time, some more stuff from my random collection of Films.  Should I go to the '90s next?  Stay tuned...

Creepy Rigatoni: Channel Zero, The Dream Door- 'Bizarre Love Triangle'

In the time between covering this Show, it was cancelled by Syfy!  This is the first time that anyone has ever been upset by such a thing!!!

Oh well- might as well enjoy the last 3 that I get.

In the Cold Open, we see the first time that our Heroine and the freaky Contortionist/Clown met.

In the Present, she tries to take control over the creature, which is driven by her anger.

Can she stop the creature that has already survived most things that would kill a person?

She then goes off with the person who can help her control her powers.  Is he someone you can trust though?

To find out, watch the Show (now on DVD/Blu-Ray/Streaming).

I missed this Show.  I took a break for many reasons- issues with the Show was not one of them.  The Story is still solid.  I like how it grows over the short course of Episodes.  As mentioned many times, each 'Season' is one Story and there's no follow-up on it in other Seasons.  They are 6-Episode, self-contained Stories.  As such, things move at a nice, steady pace.  After all, there's no time to hold things off until Season 2- there is none!  It's a shame that stuff like American Gods and Castle Rock didn't learn the lesson so far.  The villainous Contortionist/Clown is a freaky threat and a true testament to practical effects.  Could you imagine if they tried to make him CG on this Budget?!?  This Episode drops a couple big bombs and has some major moments that I won't SPOIL here.  I'll miss the Show when I'm done, but I'm going to sure enjoy it while I have some time left with it.  Speaking of enjoyment, a Character Actor from stuff like Payback and Bates Motel is here!

Next time, things escalate as more truths are revealed.  What creature will show up next?  See you then...

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Eyes of a Stranger

A Slasher Film either needs a kick-ass Poster or an iconic villain.

For every Jason Voorhees, there's Evil Coach or Evil Janitor or Identical Twin of the Killer Who's Face We Didn't Show to SPOIL the Stupid Twist.

I haven't seen this Movie, but at least it manages to have a Poster to hide behind...

All I can see is Debbie Harry trapped naked in a Phone Booth full of Packing Peanuts.  What a weird Rorschach Test!

Seriously, I don't know the context or idea behind this, but...eye-catching.

The pay-off won't be worth it, will it?

One day I'll find out...

In the meantime, here's the original someone posted online...

I'm not sure how a Movie Poster qualifies as a Stock Photo, but...it doesn't now.  Yes, I also added more color to it too.

Quick Reviews: Yor- The Hunter From the Future

According to Wikipedia, this Film came out (in Italy) just 5 days after I was born.  As such, we share a kinship.  So when Rifftrax got involved, it was time to watch this one again...

In a dangerous, prehistoric World, beauty and fear co-exist in a dangerous dance.  Who can tame it?

Yor!  Just listen to his Theme Song- it's his World and he's 'the man!'

He battles evil Cavemen, romances a Tabula Rasa Hottie and adventures with...the same old man from Strike Commando(?!?).  Who said that these Films were made cheaply again?

Slowly but surely, Yor learns some secrets about his past that will change everything!

It's not a SPOILER to show the sci-fi element.  After all, every Poster made for America does!

Will he save the day?  Will the Film end inconclusively due to this being more of a set-up to a Mini-Series that wasn't made than a Film?  Is this hilarious?

To find out, watch the Film- with or without Rifftrax (or both!).

I love this silly little gem.  I'm not the first person to tell you about Yor right?  It's not even new to me- I watched it years ago.  With Rifftrax putting the track/Film combo out recently (and me having a credit), I went back and re-watched it.  It still holds up.  It's still stupid as hell.  It's still pretty nonsensical.  The Poster is like 80% lie.  Hell, they don't even have Reb's proper hair on it!  He's not from the Future.  He's barely even a Hunter.  He is Yor and it is his World though- that's just set in stone!  Speaking of stone, they try to make this look like the Stone Age.  Stuck the landing!  Seriously, the Film spends 80% of the runtime acting like this is just straight Fantasy.  Granted- the Italian Title was Yor's World (translated).   We seem to be the Country behind the Subtitle and confusingly-SPOILER-but-not-really Poster I used over here in America.  This is based on a Book BTW.  How are so many Films that don't look like they should be based on Books- like Beaks, Slugs and Bug (by William Castle)- actually based on them?!?  Never mind The Meg!  While I know that it is sacrilege to say it, I'd liked to see a big-screen Remake of this with like $40-50 million behind it- provided you get a good Director.  That said, the original is almost an anti-classic.  It's so bad that it's good!  You can watch this for cheap- the older DVDs or VHS- or shiny and new- like the Blu-Ray Special Edition.  Speaking of which, nice to see you again, Reb!

Basically a ridiculous Film made by a talented Director with no inhibitions.  It is silly, stupid and just plain amazing!

DCE-Hulu: Titans- 'Hank and Dawn'

After setting up a big climax that I can't wait to see resolved, they...do a Flashback Filler Episode.  Motherf...

We see Flashbacks to Hawk and Dove's past.  Naturally, they include...a Scene implying that his Coach was molesting a pre-teen Hank.

Yeah, thanks for that!

Years later, Hank faces health issues due to Football.  I bet the NFL isn't giving money to DC now!

A strange accident occurs- no SPOILERs- that changes both of their lives in a big way.

Will the titular Characters come together properly?  Is this all just a waste of time?

To find out, watch the Episode.

Why this?  Why now?  Let's just deal with this first.  Why put this Episode here?  This couldn't be, for instance, Episode 5 or 6?  Furthermore, did we need a whole Episode on this?  We got the backstory on Hawk and Dove in Episode 2.  Who said 'we need to go back for more of this?!?'  What did we add?  Child Abuse and Molestation.  Random death.  Violence towards others.  Yea?  Furthermore...more, look at how important Hawk and Dove are to this Series so far.  They appeared in Episode 2 and were written out in the beginning of Episode 3.  That's it.  Now, all of a sudden, I need to know their life story and all to set up...Jason Todd coming back?  Oh, that guy who only appeared in Episode 6?  I can't...wait?  Getting past ALL OF THAT, the Episode is good...I guess.  It goes real deep into 'dark for the sake of being dark' territory.  Did we need molestation in the Story?  It certainly happens, but it isn't the integral part of a Hero's backstory!  I like the Actors involved, but this is just a so-so Episode that distracts from the main Story.  It would have to be amazing to warrant the spot it takes and, well, it isn't.  It's alright.  Mind you, this is the same Director of A Winter's Tale though...

Next time, will we resume the Plot?  There are just two Episodes left, so hop to it!

Quick Reviews: Sorry to Bother You (2018)

Since there wasn't room for THREE Black Films in the Best Picture Category, something had to lose out.  Find out why it probably shouldn't have been cut...

In America, Lakeeth Stanfield is poor, but at least gets to date Tessa Thompson (in her 50th Film of 2018).

To make some money, he takes a job as a Telemarketer.  He puts a lot of pressure on himself and it's not going well.

He's given help by Danny Glover, who's advice is strange, but effective.

Were it not for Solo, we'd have had Donald Glover as the Lead.  I like Stanfield here, but that would have been interesting for many reasons!

While he works to improve his life, Stanfield must try to make sense of the World around him.  One of the big issues- Worry Free and its Boss.

He gets promoted to the Upper Floor via this ridiculous elevator.  Will he lose his friend as he gains success?

When he finds out the truth behind Worry Free, will he be broken or driven?  To find out, watch the Film.

A very odd Film with a lot of style.  Is it all style and no substance?  Nope.  The Film has ALOT going on.  We see bits about income inequality, class warfare, consumer insanity, the degradation of social norms and like 6 other things.  You don't come here for that kind of commentary though.  Instead, let me point out how good everyone was here.  The sleazy Bosses were sleazy, the 'common men' were likeable and Stanfield made you really feel for his situation.  When he makes bad decisions, you can still see why he made them and only judge him a little.  When his friends turn on him, you feel bad for him, even if they do make very good points.  The Film starts out fairly-normal and slowly goes insane.  They manage to pace it quite well so that you can take everything in as it gets crazier.  It starts out with weird side stuff like a Show called You Just Got the #$@! Kicked Out of You and ends up with, well, no SPOILERS.  I stayed as 'in the dark' as I could about this one and it rewarded my innocence.  As such, I'll do the same for you.  Sorry to Bother You seems like a Film you've seen before, but turns into something very unique.  Speaking of unique, does anyone actually drive a car like this?

A weird, weird Film that only manages to one-up itself as it goes on.  It's a damn fun ride that I could probably spend hours dissecting.