Shudder-day: Mute Witness (1995)

 A Film I watched for one weird reason (which I'll explain later).

Did it turn out to actually be a good Movie though?

Let's find out...

The Film begins with a woman being murdered by a masked man.

Her death is then comically drawn out and we learn that this is actually a Film.

As silly as that bit was, the key thing is that our Lead- Billy- is Mute and does the Make-up FX work for a Russian-based Slasher Film.

She ends up being locked in the Studio for the night and wanders onto two men from the Film Set earlier shooting what turns out to be a Snuff Film.

Oh nos!

She has a tense and prolonged bit where the duo are both not chasing her, but also right behind her the whole time.

It works quite well, as the Cuts are disguised nicely and it seems to flow as one long pursuit/not pursuit.

She's saved at the last moment and they call the Cops.

The men hide the evidence well, making the Cops think that it was all just them 'testing out effects' for the Film.

Nobody ever asks where the woman they killed is, which should be a red flag.

The men later report to their Boss.

He drives up in a Car (we later learn that he's called The Reaper).

It is...Sir Alec Guiness?!?

He tells them that they won't get paid as long as there is a living witness- mute or otherwise.

Living Witness- Mute or Otherwise was the rejected Title.
It was already taken.

As such, the men come for her!

Can she defend herself?
Can a Cop save her?
Who can she trust?

To find out, stream it now.

No joke- this is actually quite good.  Whoever wrote the Title blurb on Shudder describes it as an 'underseen Thriller.'

Yeah, that's apt.
If it took me this long to find it, that says plenty!

One thing that this Film does really well is build up suspense when it comes to the Lead.  She's really emotive, really relatable and you really root for her.

What's kind of funny about that is that the Actress- like most of the Cast- is Russian and also not Mute.  Playing 'Billy' meant that she emoted through ASL and body language.  It's a good way to get around not casting a native English Speaker to play American.

The curiosity factor here is obviously Guiness' appearance here.  It's officially his last Film appearance before his death in 2000.

I guess you can't always pick your last Film.

All in all, the Film is a hidden gem.  The Plot isn't amazing, but the tension and Direction elevate it quite well.  As opposed to this odd bit of promotional art for the Film.

A legit well-made Film with a unique pair of hooks- the Mute Lead and the Fish Out of Water Setting.  Outside of its place in Film History, I actually liked it!

Tubi Thursday: Nemesis 2- Nebula (1995)

 After the apparent success of the first Nemesis, we've got a series, baby!

This is the first Direct-to-Video Film in the Series, so let's jump right in...

So big old exposition time...

Cyborgs did take over.  Screw the last Movie, I guess.

In the Future, humans created Super DNA and impregnated a woman.
They sent her to the Past to raise the Child.

Any questions?
No questions?
Great.

The Mother and Child end up in 1980 West Africa (they don't narrow it down much).  The former is killed within a couple of minutes.

Villagers and Aid Workers raise the baby, who grows up to be this Lady Bodybuilder.

She passes the test to be a Hunter in her Tribe.

This jealous guy challenges her to a fight...and loses.

I'm in no hurry to fight anyone- especially after I just saw them cut out a warthog's heart!

The unseen Cyborg menace sends a creature- I guess it is the Nemesis here?- to the Past to find her.

A robot army sending back a killer robot to kill a lady- what a unique concept!

She sees the robot kill the remaining Villagers- it attacked while she was away learning of her origin- and escapes.

She runs across these two suspicious ladies and helps them in exchange for a plane ride to America.

Can she stop the killer Robot (who has a randomly posh accent)?
Can she avoid the many, many explosions?

Can a Film pass off Arizona as 'West Africa?'

To find out, stream it now.

Another collection of Action Scenes that is technically a Movie.  That's Albert Pyun for you though, right?

Why is this called Nemesis 2?
A bunch of Stock Footage from the first Film is used over random shots of a City with Text telling us the Plot that I recapped in the first section.

That Film was about then-modern-day Cyborgs trying to replace us Humans like The Skrulls in Marvel.  Now they just took over, but also none of that matter since it is set in the late '90s.

Supposedly Pyun wanted a Woman like Sue Price to be the Lead of that Film and he got her this time.  I hope she's good- since she's the Star of the next 3 Films!

If you're watching this for the Plot, what is wrong with you?!?
Big, buff lady fights people, fires guns and battles a killer Robot.

It was enjoyable, but forgettable.  Now if it was a different Suit, I'm in it to win it.

A big old collection of explosions, shooting and more explosions.  There's tangentially a connection to the last Film- at best.

Streaming Standard: Invincible- Season 2

 I was sure I'd talked about this Show more, but I guess not.

Regardless, we go from Marvel to DC to Independent.

Let's see what is up with our often-bloody Hero this year...

In the wake of what happened last Season, Mark/Invincible is recovering from his injuries and his mental wounds.

He tries to rise to the occasion again though and get his life in balance.

By Episode 4, however, he gets another bloody beating and is back in a bad place.

He's resilient and still tries to be the Hero that he thought his Father was going to be.

The balance is shifting though.

This involves going into Space- quite a few times.

Is it lazy writing if they have him complain about his constant trips?

Things don't get much better on Earth, however, as the Viltrumites are still keeping an eye on him.

They want him to take his Father's place as Earth's Conqueror.

They won't ask nicely.

Who will live?
Who will die?

To find out, stream the Show now.

A good Show, even if it can be too intense for many people.  I get it.

The Show doesn't hold back in terms of blood and gore.  In fact, it tends to revel in it.
Basically, if you can make it through one Episode, you'll be fine.
If you can't, I'd find another Show.

Blood aside, the Show has some really good Acting, strong animation, good humor, Character Arcs and a grand scale.

It can be a bit hard to follow all of the many, many Subplots though.  A quick recap at the beginning of each Episode- a la a Recap Page in Comics- is nice, but perhaps a bucket of water being tossed at a house fire.

The Show continues this interesting balance of Superhero Action/Space Opera/Character Drama each Episode.  I'm still on board, even if I won't binge the Episodes when they come out.

We all good?

A good Show that is still very much not for a younger audience due to all of the bloody deaths.  I think that the balance is still quite strong though.

Streaming Standard: Shazam- Fury of the Gods (2023)

 What do I think about the Sequel to a Film that was only 'okay' and stars my 2nd least favorite DC Actor?

The odds are in their favor!

2 years after the last Film- despite all of the kids aging 4 years-, the Shazam Family is trying to be the Heroes that Philadelphia deserves.

Apparently, they aren't very good, however, as they are known as failures.
A shame that we don't get to actually see it.

Of course, they are all kids, so what should you expect?

Are they going to be ready when The Daughters of Atlas show up with revenge on their minds?

Thanks to the first of MANY Deus Ex Machinas, they find out about the threat.

The Daughters want to retrieve the Powers of the Gods (aka theirs) and take over.

I guess making only ONE of the TWO Villains super-evil counts as nuanced.

Can Shazam rise to the occasion?!

Can he stop the Daughters?

More importantly, what random Cameos and now-pointless word-building will we get?

To find out, stream it now.
Strangely enough, you can watch this on Disney Plus.  No, really.

It's still just alright.  My previous complaints are still true.

I don't like Dumb, Comedic Shazam/Captain Marvel?  They actually point out that he is supposed to have the Wisdom of Solomon (who wasn't a God, but whatever) and doesn't seem to.

Well, I guess if you point out your own Plot Hole, it's all good!

The Film is also an odd mix of Comedy, Action and random bursts of Horror.  It's not quite as jarring as the original- which would go from our Lead making viral videos to people being violently murdered by monsters- but there are still random moments of Horror.

Speaking of random, let's bring in Diedrich Bader, have him appearance once to set him up and then kill him in the next Scene.  Brilliant!

The Film also appears to be one who's shooting and layout was changed by COVID (understandably, since it was shot in 2021).  So much of the Film involves small groups working separately (like Jurassic World- Dominion).  It makes it a bit scattershot and sometimes disjointed.

Ultimately, the Film doesn't build much from the last one, save for being more expensive, having worse costumes (they're too 'busy' for me) and making Skittles a key Plot Point for the Third Act.
I'm...happy?!?

A Shazam Film could be good if, well, it wasn't Zachary Levi, it was made with key differences and could agree on a Genre. 
Let's see what happens next, I guess.

Streaming Standard: X-Men '97- Episodes 1-4

 I'm back for the Theme Song alone!

As someone who grew up during peak animation time on Television- He-Man, Ninja Turtles, X-Men, Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, Street Sharks-, you know I'm ready for more.

Plus, after rewatching the original finale, there's nowhere to go but up!

It's been a year since the Show ended.

The X-Men are missing Xavier, but holding strong.
Is he dead?  Dunno.

Oh, and Jean is pregnant.

There have been some changes- like Storm's hair or Jubilee's voice- but their mission is still the same: protect mutant kind and maintain peace.

Villains like the Friends of Humanity and the Sentinels aren't giving them any time off!

In these opening Episodes, they are not afraid to rush right into action!

Can they stop Master Mold and his brand new Sentinels?

Can they stop a more personal foe?

Seriously, it doesn't get more personal...or sinister.

Big changes are happening.

In spite of that, there's always room for more Mojo.

To find out how these Stories play out, stream the Episodes now.

Really good, fun Episodes.

Is this just more X-Men: The Animated Series?  No.
Should it be?  No.

I'm happy to see that there are new Stories to tell, new Villains to introduce and great new moments to happen.  As much of the original Cast as is possible (RIP Norm Spencer and David Hemblen) is back and I have no complaints.

Oh no- they recast Jubilee...at the original Actor's request.  Those...bastards?

The first 2 Episodes are more about following up previous events and bringing back returning Characters.  They do bring us X-Cutioner, who makes a big impact!

With the next 2 Episodes (so far), we get a condensed version of a classic '80s tale and more Mojo.  Is Longshot far behind?

The bottom line- X-Men '97 isn't just more of a Classic Show.  Instead, it is a continuation with more and different Stories to tell for a new Audience.  Also the same Audience, now able to handle more complex stories and themes.

I am pleased.

A great revival that gives older fans what they want, while doing new stories.  

I'd be up for more rehashes...but I'm way more excited about these Episodes.

Tubi Thursday: Nemesis (1992)

 A new 1990s Series for me to go through weekly.

This one is Nemesis by Albert Pyun (RIP).

Let's rock!

In the future of almost 2027 (it's catching up to us!), Cops have to stop Cyborgs and other technological terrors.

Olivier Gruner is Not Harrison Ford in a big, long (but fun) shoot-out/chase in what looks like Cyborg's reused Sets.

He's nearly destroyed, but rebuilt by the Cops.

In what feels like a different Film, Gruner- with a different haircut- randomly gets revenge on the Cyborg that nearly killed him.

Well, that was a short Film...

Nope.  

After some narration, we jump ahead to a year later where Gruner is now a pseudo-criminal.

He's blasted by a guy with his face gun.

No- I didn't make that up.

He's forced to work for the Police Chief- Tim Thomerson- and a German guy- Brion James- due to them putting a bomb in him.

What a unique concept.

They want him to track down the lady who betrayed him and the LAPD.

He ends up being betrayed by Thomerson- what a shock- and working for the rebel Cyborgs.

The villains are also Cyborgs, so...muddled message, much?

He escapes from the building by...shooting the floors out to drop away.

Is that where Underworld got that from?!?

He has to fight against Thomerson, who's a lifelike robot impersonating Thomerson's Police Chief Character.

Lots of running.
Lots of shooting.
Lots of stuff that is kind of like Terminator 2 (since they hired an F/X guy from it).

It's all dumb, crazy fun.

This one is fun, but also dumb...and also really pretentious.

This Film is a riddle wrapped up in an enigma.

It has this big, complicated Plot.
It can't stop cutting to long Action Scenes.
It has about 100 Characters that come and go.

To be fair, Gruner is not a great Actor.  He tries to be quippy and...yeah, no.  His accent and delivery also leaves something to be desired.
Mind you, me acting in French wouldn't be great either.

The draw here is all of the big, boisterous Action Scenes.  If you can just kind of skim through the Plot to enjoy them, this one is recommended.
It has a bunch of That Guys in it- from Sven-Ole Thorson to Carey-Hiroyuki Tagawa to Jackie Earl Haley- so keep an eye out for them.

Is it good?  No.
Is it fun?  Yes.

It has Thomas Jane (and he's not wearing pants) if that helps sell you...

A bizarre and fun Film that makes almost no sense.  I look forward to the Sequels- right or wrong.

Hail Stan: Satanic Panic (2019)

 After a long, holy holiday weekend, let's get back to Lord Stitch!

This is 2019's Satanic Panic, a Horror Film produced by Fangoria.  Why not?  This one was notably marketed as 'Panic' in Wal-Mart, thanks to a slipcover. 
My version has this, despite me buying it at a Thrift Store.

The Plot involves a poor woman, some Satanists and a ceremony gone awry.  It gets bloody.  It gets freaky.  Does it get good?

Let's find out.. 

A young woman- Hayley Griffith- is forced to work a dead end job delivering pizzas.

You don't know even know her tragic backstory yet and you already feel bad, no?

She gets stuck delivering to some rich guy who doesn't tip.

On top of that, her moped breaks down.

Time to take some bad advice and ask for money at the Party.

By the way, they are Satanists.

Big mistake!

She manages to sneak away to a nearby House.

Rescue incoming?

I won't SPOIL why, but, well no.

She ends up working with a young lady with a personal connection to the Leader of the Cult- Rebecca Romijn- and some information that can keep them alive.

Of course, nothing comes easy!

Escape isn't so simple and the Ceremony seemingly can't be stopped.

Who will live?
Who will die?

Who will be summoned?

To find out, watch the Film now.

It's pretty good.  It is not devilishly good though.

Am I all out of puns?
You sure hope so!

Seriously, the Film is pretty good.  It has some neat ideas in it, some crazy Characters and some really fun moments.  Having some good Comic Actors in this really helps.

For instance, Ardin Myrin as Gypsy nearly steals the Show.  You'd know her most famously from MadTV, plus Wrong and Wrong Cops.  She's great.

Griffith makes a nice Every Woman here, constantly struggling to keep up with the insanity going on around her.  She gets a nice Character Arc as well.

For me, the Film is never quite more than a serious of weird sight gags, gross out moments and Comedy.  There's an attempt to make this great, but I think it just didn't quite land.

By the way, if you're wondering what 'Natalie' from Birdemic is up to now, here she is from 2019...

So, what's next on the agenda?  Let's do another Original vs. Remake look, shall we?  It's getting foggy....