Forgotten TV: The Hitchhiker- 'Dead Heat'

This is before the Cult Classic with Joe Piscopo, so no Zombies here.  Instead, just some drama...

We learn via narration that an Artist- Fred Ward- is trying to manipulate reality for his art.  He's also creepy, as is this.

He spots a woman on the road and makes many MANY passes at her.  She finally relents- reluctantly.

When she rejects him, he nearly kills her.

She ends up back at his Barn as his Model- clearly against her will- and he finds another one- a guy who tries to steal his car.

He keeps the pair around as his Models, but something clearly starts to happen between them.

All the while, Ward preps his biggest work- the tale of two people who die in a car crash on Prom Night.

The pair finally hook up and he is convinced to leave with her.  There's some teasing of it being a lie by her, but it goes nowhere.

When they flee, Ward...takes it well.

He gets in front of the escaping car, but it crashes into a tree with him in front of it, killing them all.

Um...yea?  Some Moral...I guess.

A dark tale of obsession.  This one sure ain't light-hearted!  To be fair, I have yet to find one of these that really is.  There are certainly more 'dark' Episodes of stuff like Twilight Zone or One Step Beyond than their are happy/upbeat ones.  Even so, this feels so dark because the Story offers no hope and not even a remotely-happy ending.  The good guy dies.  The bad guy dies.  Everyone dies.  Even the previous one I featured had a bad guy being punished by other bad guys.  The one before that had, um, karma take care of them- maybe.  Is there a moral here?  Is there a lesson?  Is there a point?  The thing is interesting and well-made, but I just fail to see what I'm supposed to get out of it.  The previous two were dark, but had a lesson/point to learn.  This one is, just, um, don't be a Model?

Next time, another Story with another Guest Star.  Anything more upbeat perhaps?  See you then...

My Crazy Youth: The Time That The Gargoyles Fought the Nazis in WWII

Alright, so this is a weird Show to even explain.  If you didn't live through this Show's run, I'll have a lot to unload before I even talk about the Episode...

The Gargoyles are 'monsters' that turn into statues during the day and are active at night.  They were heroes in Scotland...until they weren't.  They are awakened in the Present Day (of 1994).

So, at this point, our Main Heroes- Goliath, Demona and Eliza- are traveling around on a magic boat from Avalon.  Just...go with it.

They end up in London and meet some other Gargoyles hiding in plain sight with flimsy excuses...

Goliath and company meet them, but they are accused of leaving a Gargoyle to die.  Goliath doesn't remember this.

The pair attack them, so Goliath does the only logical thing...

...travel back in time with a magical artifact.  Of course.

He meets Griff- the Gargoyle that died- in 1940 during the Battle of Britain.  Said Gargoyle wants to go back and fight, but the other two don't join them.

Goliath is determined to keep Griff from dying, which isn't easy to do.  Lots of Nazis and fate literally trying to kill him with falling buildings and the like.

Back in 1995, Eliza convinces the pair that they are bothered by their Survivor's Guilt and not Goliath.  What an epiphany.

To make that less tragic, Goliath 'cheats' fate by bringing Griff back to the Present.  He just couldn't let him survive *through* the Battle, skipping over it instead.

The pair- now a trio- decide to finally stand up for their Town and not just themselves.  Hurray.

A weird, but good Story.  This is both a good and bad place to start the Show on the Site.  On one hand, this Episode has a small Cast of Lead Characters and a one-off Setting.  On the other hand, I'm like 17 Episodes in and following some weird, weird stuff.  The Show starts out with vague magic and the Gargoyles, but eventually includes all number of 'monsters' like Centaurs, Polymorphs, a Dragon and a Minotaur.  That's also not counting the Backstory that connects things to Avalon, King Arthur in general and Characters like Puck (from Mythology and Shakespeare).  It gets weird.  I mean, it's only just now that I mention the fact that they met Nessie once!  With that said, the singular Story is good, if odd.  The whole thing is built on a time loop.  Goliath doesn't know facts that hadn't happened to him yet, even though they happened in 1940.  Once he does them (in the Past), it all makes sense (to him).  The other Gargoyles remember that history, meanwhile, as having already happened to them, since they didn't jump in time.  Time Travel is a bitch to explain sometimes.  There are plenty of little silly things here, like the fact that nobody dies in the Battle of Britain and that Soldiers say that they are going to 'kick butt.'  It's a '90s Cartoon no matter what is supposed to be happening!  If you remember this Show, what I've seen of it still holds up.  If you haven't, it might be worth a look at some '90s stuff that isn't Spider-Man or Batman- expand your horizons.  If nothing else, it gives me something sadly-topical to say in 2018...

A weird place to just drop into, but I'm sure to cover more Gargoyles in the future.  Maybe the one with King Arthur, the one with Macbeth or maybe a Horror one in October...

Foreign Cover-Art Showcase: The Nun (2005)

All this talk about a 2005 Horror Film from Spain?  Why now?

Oh, they mean, the other The Nun!  What am I going to do with all of this stuff I found for the wrong Film then?

Oh, I know...Art Gallery.

First up, the most Aquaman-like Poster for a Horror Film I've seen...

Our next piece is from Brazil- note the Portugese- and goes back to the standard of 'Group Cast in front of Villain' mold from Slasher Films- and is...interesting.

Finally, we get a piece from the Film's native Country of Spain.  It kind of bridges the gap between the two...

Three pieces that *sort of* tell you about the Movie.  It has a Nun.  It has water.  It has a skeleton face.

Context for any of that?  Nope- not here.

Enjoy your Conjuring-verse Film that I will inevitably suffer through within the next 2 Years.

Forgotten TV: The Omen's 1995 Failed Pilot

So this exists.  In 1995, NBC produced a strange update to the famous tale as a Film/Backdoor Pilot.  In other words, if this did well, they'd make a Show.  

We didn't get an Omen Show until 2016, so this didn't go well.  It's very odd and somewhat infamous.  

Mind you, it's infamous amongst the people that are aware of Backdoor Pilots like this and/or even know that it exists.  All 6 of us are 'in the know.'  

If you want to join this illustrious group, read on...

A man- William Sadler- goes to check on his friend.  He finds him dead via hanging in a Bomb Shelter.  The body moves and a weird energy flies out, taking over the man with him, who flees.

In the City, a Reporter- Brett Cullen- is in the City and covered the Story.  His Boss is hit by a car driven by the possessed man, thus awkwardly-tying the Story together.

Incidentally, Sadler was the President in Iron Man 3 and Cullen was the Dad in Ghost Rider.  MCU!

The woman dies and the spirit moves on to another.  This leads to the Hospital being put in lockdown and Sadler called (him being a Epidemiologist).  Hi, Character Actor!

The pair are united by a man who knows the truth- the spirit is that of pure evil.  It seeks out a vessel to take over the World in!

The spirit switches bodies one more time to a Nurse and ends up escaping with a vial of flesh eating bacteria.  The target- the St. Patrick's Day Parade!

They manage to stop him and kill the vessel, but the old man dies.  The spirit finds a new host...

The Nurse recovers and can now sense the spirit (well, sometimes).  She agrees to join the two as they plan to track down and destroy the evil...but no Series, so...I guess they're done.  

The End.

An interesting, if strange attempt at a Show.  The Omen is an interesting property.  We got one good Film, a pointless one, a silly one and a bad one.  This was the next attempt and, boy, it is sure was weird.  The evil of Damien is now just a bunch of flying, white energy that possesses you.  If you fight it, you do quickly.  If you accept it, you become a good host.  In the course of the Show, it doesn't quite find the right host in the long term.  Presumably, this was to lead to it finding a host to become Damien.  If anyone actually knows what the plans for this Show was after 23 Years, let me know!  The Acting and Production Values are solid here.  The thing is chock full of Character Actors, be it Sadler, Cullen or even Garry Chalk.  The video quality is obviously an issue, since I'm watching what I can only assume is a VHS Rip put online.  If you can live with that, this is an interesting watch.  It's almost *more* interesting because it goes nowhere. 

 Speaking of going nowhere, there's this weird Plot Point.  The Host escapes the finale and is seen boarding a Train.  After what I can only assume was the Commercial Break, our Heroes recap what apparently happened- the Host literally burned up *off-screen* and found a new place to go.  Yeah, I would HATE to see that, Show- you dick.  There's also some dispute over whether or not this is more like The Exorcist, but...I mean, it kind of is, kind of isn't.  That also got a Show recently- I guess I need to see that too!  In the meantime, here's another Book for me to not finish reading...

An interesting premise and a decent execution.  As big of a change to the Story this is, I do kind of like it.

Forgotten TV: Ray Bradbury Theater- 'The Town Where No One Got Off'

Another Episode of Ray Bradbury's Anthology Show and another Star.  This one has promise, but does it deliver?

A Writer- Jeff Goldblum- is riding on a train and talking about 'Middle America.'

His Neighbor is a cynic who tells him that he is 'all talk' and dares him to get off at the next random town.

...so he does.  He finds that the people are not too friendly.

A mysterious man starts to follow him everywhere.  Why?

He starts to talk to the old man, who seems to be very interested in the stranger.  Why?

They go to an old Building and the man reveals his secret- he's been waiting for about 2 Decades for a stranger to show up.  Killing him would be the perfect crime.

Goldblum counters with his own revelation- he's been thinking about the same thing, only in reverse.

They jump cut to Goldblum on the Train.  Did he kill the old man?

No.  He didn't.  Alright...then.  The End.

A lot of setup for, well, nothing much.  I'm not entirely clear what the whole point of this was.  Is it just a story about mysterious people?  Is it to talk about the mystery of 'small town America?'  Is it just to, um, exist?  Don't get me wrong- it has some interesting stuff in it.  Goldblum is, as always, charismatic.  The actual Town they shot in looks nice.  Like the Town itself, however, there's just not much here.  He wanders around.  He wanders around.  Nobody talks to him.  Weird guy talks to him.  Scary monologue.  He leaves.  I feel like this is just missing something.  Am I right?  It's just...okay.  Sorry, Mr. Bradbury.

Next time, another Star and another tale.  Will something big happen this time?  See you then...

Cover Art Special: Bipolar Film Poster Pair

I talked about Strike Commando a long, long time ago.

It's promotional Poster is pretty infamous (for all of the right reasons).

This is a refresher...

Here's the thing though- there's an alternate Version for the Asian Markets.  For some reason, they change one little thing in a big way...

...um, did he get a lobotomy?

How can he look so disinterested with all of this going on AND that improbable gun?!?

Two Posters.
One Film.
Zero Consistency.

Aussie Flix: The Cars That Ate Paris

Alas, this is not what it sounds like.  This is a 1971 Comedy/Drama/Horror Film by Peter Weir.  Based on that name (and the Title I put on this), you know that it is Australian.  They are not in Paris, France.  There are not killer cars eating the city.  Alas, this is not a Prequel to The Killer Tomatoes Eat France!  Instead of any of that, it is...a Film about a Town that exploits car accidents for fun and profit?  Is this the Town that thought that Crash- the Cronenberg one- was a Comedy?  The whole thing is very weird, featuring some people you'll recognize from other stuff.  The Director is obviously quite renowned and respected, which means that I haven't done one of his Films in over 3 Years!  Is this a forgotten gem or, as it was when Corman tried to sell it in America, too weird to make sense of?  To find out, read on...

The Film begins with a random couple getting killed for no reason.  No mention of them ever again.

After that, we see two guys driving around and seeing a bunch of signs for Paris.

...and their car rolls over, killing one of them.

Oh and our Hero played Napoleon in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure- you're welcome.

The Town of Paris is full of weirdos that salvage car parts from wrecks and, well, wear them.

The man survives the crash and is taken in by the Town.  Why they don't lobotomize him is kind of hand waved away, because, Plot.

We see a different crash happen and the people pick the thing away for parts.  Freaky folks.

As the Film goes on, there's a conflict between the Mayor and his Enforcers.  They punish one of them for disobeying orders by burning his car!

The Film builds up to a big Party where everyone dresses up in costumes.  Australian Lincoln?

The Enforcers return in their Cars to smash up the city.  They sure aren't overcompensating!

Our Hero is told to use a car to kill one of them and uses his newfound confidence to leave Town.

What a lesson!  The End.

An odd little Film.  It's easy to see why it was hard to market in the U.S.  Is it a Comedy?  Well, it has weird, quirky characters.  Is it a Drama?  Well, it does feature lots of conflict.  Is it a Horror Film?  Well, it does feature loss of death and killers.  Is it a Comedy though?  It has laughs, but also freaky people who aren't funny.  Is it a Drama though?  For every bit of conflict, you have, well, Australian Lincoln and other stuff.  Is a Horror Film though?  For all of the death, it is mostly about morality and doesn't end with the Villain being punished (directly).  The Cars That Ate Paris is a hard Film to define.  It's good, but not great to me.  It has neat ideas, a neat setting and some interesting stuff.  On the other hand, it's a bit slow, a bit random and a bit anti-climactic at the end.  It is so close to being one Genre or the other, but not quite working as either.  It's also not quite a good Genre-Bender, as the divide between the sections is a bit blurry and strange.  On the plus side, the Gyro Captain from Mad Max is here...

Next time, more random stuff I keep collecting.  I'll never run out of stuff, so keep reading!  Stay tuned...