TV on the Internet: Ash vs Evil Dead- The Host

Another Episode of the Show to cover?  Alright- if you insist...

This week, Ash is thought to be the Host (hence the Title) for a Demon.  The way to fix 'his problem' is not good.

The B-Plot shows up for its one Scene per Episode.  Nice to see you...but when are you going to be more impactful?

The real Host has their own plans to take out their enemies and escape into the World...

Can the Demon be exercised from its Host or will death be the only escape?  No SPOILERS!

Another good Episode.  The Plot involving the Demon and his/its Host is a good one.  After seeing so many people converted to Deadites so far, this one is different enough to be a change of pace.  It is isn't 100% different, but I think you see my point.  I'm sure that we'll see plenty more Deadites show up and now it will feel a little bit more fresh.  After so much humor in the last Episode, seeing the bleak consequences of their earlier actions.  This is still a Comedy-driven Show, of course, but the minor change of pace is nice to see.  Everyone does a nice job here with their Roles, so kudos.  Seeing Ash learn to be the Hero he needs to be is a nice progression throughout the Show and I'm curious to see where this all goes.  If nothing else, he is now Playing with Power (TM)...

Next time, are Ash and company close to the truth?  Can they put the Evil to rest once and for all?  See you then...

Internet TV: Marvel's Jessica Jones (Part 1)

Can they follow up Daredevil?  This is Jessica Jones, a Netflix Show about an even more obscure Character this time.  At least Ben Affleck, Rex Smith and Ben Caruthers got to play that guy!

So who is Jessica Jones and why should you spend around 13 hours watching her Story?  Let me tell you...

This is Jessica Jones.  She's a Private Investigator in New York City.

 Oh yeah, she also has super-powers.  The way they do them is quite nice, as they are generally low-key in their representation.

What has her so worked up?

This guy!

He's Kilgrave and he can mind-control people.  He'll do anything to get control of Jessica again!

Will this psycho get what he wants or will Jessica and her friends put a stop to him?  Find out in Part 2- not that I'm actually going to SPOIL it there.  The End.

Good, good stuff.  For a Character that most people don't know about, they do a good job of selling you on this.  This isn't like Batman with a built-in audience or Spider-Man with a ton of Films featuring him.  Even comparing this to Netflix's Daredevil, that Character has been used enough to be generally well-known.  This is the Netflix equivalent of a Cold Call.  I didn't hang up and you shouldn't either.  Okay- end of Analogy.  The Show works thanks to Krysten Ritter's performance as the Title Character.  She's tough and stern on the outside, but you can see hints of her true self early on.  Even when she 'comes out of her shell' a bit, she's still strict and sardonic.  She really sells the Show.  That is taking nothing away from all of the other Actors involved- it is just her Show.  That said, David Tennant playing a Villain is really fun to see.  He really embraces the Role and just goes all out.  Who would have guessed that a Marvel Supervillain called Purple Man could be so freaky and menacing?!?  With Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man and now this, Marvel is showing that anything can be sold if done well.  Jessica Jones may sound like a face in the crowd among your Captain Americas and Thors, but she stands out in her own way...

Can't wait for Part 2?  Me neither- so let me go watch it already!  Stay tuned...

New Flix: Insidious- Chapter 3

Alright- this is the last one, right?  I've said that after every Paranormal Activity Film and I haven't been right yet.  Today's Film is Insidious: Chapter 3, a Title that is kind of a lie all things considered.  You know the drill by now, right?  This is the 3rd Film in a Horror Series made after the year 2000, so it is, of course, a Prequel.  Why does this keep coming up exactly?  The best I can figure is that Directors and/or Writers basically 'blow their load' with 2 Films and have nowhere to go.  They've killed off Leads (like Insidious did) and/or written themselves into a corner (Paranormal Activity).  What else is left if you want to make more money?  Set your Film before the others, of course, and try to maintain tension somehow.  As a bonus, you get to explain things that don't need a back-story and pat yourselves on the back for a deed 'well done.'  This time around, we learn the never-before-or-since mentioned back-story on Elise, meet some person that has no impact on the other 2 Films and learn more about the Director in his distracting Role.  Yes, Leigh Whannell has moved up to Directing here.  Good for him, but bad for me.  Is this one a unique trip for the Series or a mediocre follow-up?  To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, a young woman (our Heroine) meets with Elise to talk to her dead Mom, but she won't.  It has something to do with an evil Spirit she never mentions in the 1st Film.  Yea?

She lives with her Dad and Brother, but can't get into some Actor School.  Thanks for letting me know all of your First-World Problems...bitch.

While staring at a Ghost (or something), this asshole hits her with his Car.  She isn't moving, so he saw her, picked up speed and never remotely-slowed down before impact.

Now with 2 broken legs, our Heroine is stuck at home.  At this point, the Ghost starts going after her full-force...every few hours or so...sometimes.

Meanwhile, Elise thinks about helping...but the Ghost apparently has enough free time to haunt her on the side.  That Time Management Class is paying off!

The Ghost finally makes a big move...for about a minute.  Its plan is all sorts of confusing, right?

Just do it already!

Eventually, Elise shows up to help (after a Cameo from that other guy from Insidious: Chapter 2) and this all feels very familiar...

Those morons who try to catch Ghosts (Hi, Director!) end up at the House along with her and...well, don't help at all.

Can the girl be saved or is all hope lost?  No SPOILERS, but...well, you know.  The End.

Meh.  This is just more of the same.  Spooky noises, random sights, concerned parents and more of the Further.  This really is just every James Wan Film.  Much like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the guy doesn't even have to Direct it for it to like his Films!  No, he was too busy making the dumbest Film of the Year- Furious 7- to work on this crap.  I guess the Studio couldn't mandate another one of these out of him this year.  Whannell doesn't totally drop the ball here, but there's not much here to sell you.  Pointless back-story is all that is really new.  Oh no, will Elise be a Hero?  Well, this is a Prequel, so...yes.  They draw it out, but we all know where this shit is going.  There are some nice visuals here...but not enough to save things.  By now, this kind of thing is just so route and obvious.  Stuff that is supposed to be a shock is just, well, not.  Making your Villain out of a dead old man (wasn't he in Insidious: Chapter 2 chasing kid Patrick Wilson) wasn't a good call.  Speaking of bad calls, can they make up their minds about the villain from Insidious: Chapter 2?  It was a lady in Insidious, revealed to be a different-looking guy in Chapter 2 and now it is a woman again!  Unless this is just the Mom (who has a mean back-hand), I'm confused.  I also don't care.  Here's James Wan trying to be Hitchcock...

Next up, some more new Horror from around the world.  What kind of Film could be next?  Stay tuned...

Quick Reviews: Fantastic Four (2015)

I didn't pay to see this thing in Theaters and chose Ant-Man instead.  Now see why I made the better call...

After building a Dimensional Portal as a kid (naturally), Reed Richards is recruited to join the Baxter Institute and build a better one.

Along with Sue & Johnny Storm and Victor Von Doom, they build it!  Sorry, Ben- you're not good enough!

The initial test works, so they now plan to send NASA Engineers.  This displeases our self-centered heroes...for some reason.

If you want to know where all of the money was blown here, Exhibit A- CG Shot of Chimp!

When the guys (along with Ben) go anyway (since nobody guards a scientific landmark achievement), something happens and they get powers.

Oh and give Sue some for being in the room when the device pops back.  Why not?!?

Things don't go smoothly from thereon out & our heroes get all mopey and dramatic.  Who wants to like people in a Movie?!?

When Doom returns for revenge (in the last 20 minutes), will our heroes work together to stop him?  More importantly, will the Pentagon try to appease them with what appears to be a tray full of bread?

Again- that last one is true, but that's all I'll say.  The End.

I can see why this didn't work.  The Film does its best to make you not like its Characters.  It's daring in a way, I suppose, if that was intentional.  I don't think that it is though.  I think that they legitimately-thought that this was good.  The dark, dreary Tone- perfection.  The bitter, unhappy Characters- dynamic!  The fact that everything is color-corrected to look gray and brown- brilliant!  There's a good Movie somewhere in this thing...but good luck digging it out.  Why can't we get the Fantastic Four right?  When I started reading the Comics, they were in a dark time.  Johnny Storm was a former-criminal who found out that his girlfriend was a Skrull.  The Thing wore a helmet to hide his scarred face.  Invisible Woman cut a '4' out of the front of her outfit.  Mr. Fantastic was mopey and, later, dead.  Hell, even their kid was kidnapped, sent to the Future (don't ask) and replaced with a mopey Teenager!  Yes, the Tim Story Films had problems, but they were fun.  This is just not.  There is some unintentional Irony here as the Story's Third Act has the Characters doing things they don't want to because the situation is forcing them to.  It is kind of like everyone involved in this Film, right?  There has to be a balance between these two Films and finding that is the solution to this Franchise.  That or you could just keep doing weird stuff like giving us random Tim Heidecker Cameos...

A Film that actively tries to make you not like it and its Characters.  That's something...right?

Quick Reviews: The Gallows

Oh Lord, I decided to do this to myself, so....I might as well review it.  Hang around, won't you?

Back in 1993, somebody's Uncle filmed a School Play from the worst angle possible.  A guy dies...since people wait about 30 seconds to see if that noose around is neck is dangerous.

After about what feels like 6 hours of set-up (actually about 20 minutes), some assholes break into their High School at night to wreck the set of the play- the same one that killed that dude 20 years earlier.

However, weird stuff starts to happen.  For example, this TV cues up Local News Coverage of the Incident...somehow.  Ghosts...I guess.

Soon they find out that they are being targeted by someone dressed like the Hangman from the Play.  Of course, the dead guy wasn't playing that Role, so...logic.

Oh and don't let me trick you into thinking that any of this is interesting.

Will any of them make it out alive?

Or will the vengeful Spirit kill them?

As a bonus, will the Film really muddle up the Found Footage conceit with a post-Climax Scene that raises about 1,000,000 questions?  The answer to that one is 'Yes.'  The End.

Whoever Found this Footage, please take it back!  Sorry- I can't muster the good jokes for this kind of thing.  It...just sucks.  The Characters are all pretty much unlikable.  The Story is unoriginal.  The Setting is underwhelming.  The message is confusing.  The whole thing just...well, sucks.  It says alot that the Film was made in 2014 and then tossed out in Theaters in 2015.  That might explain why the Film is set in 2013.  The Film gets some negative points for giving us the 'This is Police Footage' thing too.  It sure was nice of the Police to spend their money Editing this Found Footage from multiple cameras together!  Budget Shortfalls be damned!  This is especially-confusing given the Film's ending, but that's all I'll say about that.  I will give them some minor credit for a few decent moments, but they are so lost in the mess of the Film.  It is almost worse to give me good moments when everything else is so bad.  Makes sense, right?  Alright- good.  In summary, crap.

Crap.  Just...just crap.  Lots of red though.

TV on the Internet: Ash Vs Evil Dead- 'Brujo'

Ash and company continue on their journey to save the World- if for no other reason than to get it over with!  What happens this week...

Lucy Lawless shows up and reveals her back-story (no SPOILERS though) to the Detective.

Will they catch up to Ash?

Speaking of which, the other half of the Title is on the move and wants to get Ash!  Drive faster!

They meet up with the Shaman and he promises to try and make Ash into the Hero he needs to be.

Ash goes on a spirit journey, speaks to a lizard and tries to find out what makes him tick these days.

Unfortunately, evil (not capitalized) doesn't let you rest and comes for Ash in his vision.  Will he survive?!?

Some weird stuff indeed.  This one gives you alot of the weird and a small taste of the scary.  It was nice to learn more about Lucy Lawless' Character and her motivation.  The mystery of her Character has been interesting, but I definitely like the reveal.  The titular Evil Dead effect was done quite nicely here in dramatic fashion.  You don't get it that way too often, so it stands out.  The big draw of this one is the crazy drug trip that Ash goes on.  It sure is strange!  The whole thing sure was ridiculous fun.  The build-up to the next Episode is nice and I definitely want to see where it goes.  As a bonus, they found time to include clips from WOW- Women of Wrestling.  That sure is random!

This one is getting super-weird and crazy.  I can't wait to see where the hell this goes next!

Ultra Rare Flix: Sticks & Stones- An Exploration of The Blair Witch Legend

This bonus Review comes courtesy of a Thrift Store.  I peruse these lovely places in search of 2 elusive things: non-Special Edition Star Wars on VHS and Song of the South.  I have lofty goals-  obviously.  Every once in awhile, I find some strange stuff like a Wizard Video Big Box release (hidden in a box of Disney tapes) and a Japanese VHS copy of Antz.  I collect weird things- obviously.  This is not quite as weird as those 2, but still quite rare.  The fact that it is still tagged is a bonus.  In the build-up to The Blair Witch Project, the folks over at Artisan went all-out to convince people that this was real.  They didn't go as far as Ruggero Deodato did (thank God!), but you get the idea.  To help build this up, they spent a whole lot of work building up the back-story that is barely-addressed in the Film.  Here's a thought: put this kind of work into the Film!  To find out more about this weird VHS-only gem that I paid 50 cents for, read on...

In what would become the vein of most History Channel Shows now, the Short (22 minutes without the Filler) tells the tale of the missing Documentarians.

The only thing that really was dead: their Careers.  Boom!

Using surprisingly-real-looking folks, they tell the long-running tale of the Witch and how she apparently does arbitrary evil ever 60 years.

By the way, if this is some picture of your Aunt or something, I'm sorry.

All of the Stories they tell are actually kind of interesting.  Why didn't we get to see any of them and just got 80 minutes of some assholes lost in the Woods?  Lame!

The whole thing comes to a head as they try to explain that the Witch apparently used her magic to bury the Tapes/Reels under the ground.  Why she did that or let the people that found it live is anyone's guess.

Oh and there's a random Deleted Scene from like an hour into Blair Witch too.  Yea?  

An odd surprise.  I expected to laugh at this more than I did.  I mean, come on- can you blame me?  That said, they do a pretty good job of making these people seem sincere about the whole thing.  It is still obviously fake and all, but kudos.  The biggest appeal is all of the interesting Stories and events that they describe.  A floating Witch in the Woods- interesting.  A spectral hand that drowns a child in a River- very interesting.  A Witch stitching people together as she guts them- holy crap!  Why wasn't that the movie?  Oh right- you have to spend MONEY to do that.  Seriously, I'd actually watch that Prequel a dozen times more than I'd watch Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows!  Man, that one sucked!  The downside to this one: it is just a big, giant tease.  You know that Artisan is never going to actually make this stuff.  They make you yearn for Films that will never come.  Oh well.  On the plus side, how often do you get a Film with its original tag still on it these days?

Honestly more interesting than I thought.  It is still complete bullshit, but at least they actually tried to make this trash interesting.