Streaming Standard: Trap (2024)

 Is M. Night Shyamalan overrated?  Is he a genius?

I'm somewhere in the middle with him (for now), but I did check out his latest Film on Netflix.

It's a...

A big-time concert is happening in Philadelphia.

Everyone is there to see Lady Raven.

Specifically, we follow a Dad and his young Daughter.

She's a huge fan and this is her reward for good grades.

Everyone wins.

So why does the Dad get more and more nervous as the Show goes on?

Is it the massive Police presence?
The fact that all of the Exits are blocked?

What does he have to hide?

Well, it turns out that he's a Serial Killer called The Butcher.

A piece of evidence led them to believe that the man- who they have a vague description of- would be there.

Naturally, they send in ALL of the Police and an FBI Mindhunter...played by Hayley Mills?!?

What a twist!

Can he keep up the disguise of a normal person?

Can he find a way out of the Arena?

More importantly, will the Film know what a good Ending is and stop there?

To find out, stream or rent it now.

A Film that is really good...until a certain point.

Shyamalan is famous for his 'twists.'  They can be revelations about the lead, a random connection you didn't expect or the sudden stop of his Film cold.

It has been a long time, but we're still not forgiving him for The Happening.

This one is not one you would think of for its twists, at least at first.  
The premise is pretty simple and sounds silly at first.

When you embrace it, the Film becomes a longer version of that Death Note Episode where Light is trying to get the lady's name before she gets home and exposes him.  You root for him to win, but realize that you are rooting for the killer.

A good Film can trick you.

The big problem is that the Film reaches a nice Ending that subverts what its Lead expects in a natural way.  It takes away his power...and then he escapes...and escapes like six more times.

It goes from a taut thriller about a guy trying to escape justice to what feels almost like a parody of the 'serial killers are the most smartest people ever' trope that really took off with Silence of the Lambs.

So close, M. Night.

On the plus side, his Cameo is not the most distracting one...

Basically, a Film that tells a good Story, subverts things...and then can't stop when it should.  It is a great 2/3 of a Film...nothing more.

'70s Class: The China Syndrome (1979)

 A really great '70s Film that commits the very specific Cardinal Sin of a confusing Title.

Is this the tale of some airborne sickness?
Is The Star Chamber about Astronomers in a round table discussion?
Is Sorcerer about a creepy old dude with a beard who casts Magic?

This is 1979's The China Syndrome, a Drama that was designed to be a 'scare' Film about a topical concern...that was quickly proven correct in all of the worst ways possible.

The Plot involves a Nuclear Power Plant that has a scare that happens to be documented by a News Crew doing a puff piece on them.
Can they then uncover the secret before a *real* disaster occurs?!?

The Film's Title eventually gets explained in the Movie itself around Act 2. 
In short, it is a theory that the nuclear waste could hit ground water under the surface, affect it much deeper (like to China) and then create a massive cloud of deadly gas.

And yes, that was the short explanation.

I'll get into the real life effects that happened a bit later.  

To find out how this all played out, read on...

A Reporter (Jame Fonda) is covering puff pieces and other Stories that aren't very serious.

Can she find one?

She is given a Story to cover- Energy Week.

She gets a freelance crew (including Producer of the Film Michael Douglas) to cover a story about a new Nuclear Power Plant about to open.

While they're there, something goes wrong right as they are by the Observation Room.
What luck!

They secretly film them (including Jack Lemmon and Wilford Brimley) as a mishap nearly leads to a meltdown!

They take the footage back to the Studio...only to be told that they can't show it.

Damn you, James Karen!

Douglas especially doesn't take this well. 

Back at the Plant, Lemmon is still convinced that something will go wrong.

He goes- in the minds of his coworkers, at least- overboard in testing for faults and issues.

Is he right to?

Well, historically speaking, yes.  Just 2 weeks into this Film running in Theaters (when Films ran for months, mind you) the 3 Mile Island Accident happened.
This Film became very topical!

He finds a possible fault and is told to ignore it- they want to open another Plant in less than a week.

He meets up with Fonda and then Douglas, the latter of whom stole the footage and showed it to an expert.

This convinces a conflicted Lemmon to hand over some information to a 3rd party to share with them.

...this ends poorly.

This is modeled after the suspicious real-life death of Karen Silkwood (dramatized in 1983).  Ironically, that Film was originally pitched to star Fonda as Ms. Silkwood.

Like that case, the evidence was stolen.
Unlike that case, the guy survives at least.

This presses Lemmon to come forward to share his information.

He too is pursued, however, and he flees to the Plant, knowing that the Security will stop the chase.

He finds out that they are going to restart the Plant and he makes a big move!

He calls for Fonda to put him on Live TV to share what he knows.

Things are stalled and the Plant Owners work to stop him.

The SWAT Team bursts in and shoots him, giving Lemmon his only on-screen death.

In the aftermath, Brimley speaks up on his behalf and there's hope.  The (almost happy) End.

A far better Movie than I usually cover.  Is this a one-off?

Who knows?

The Film is very topical- as mentioned- but still holds up pretty well 40+ years later.

Many of the ideas and themes really hold true today.

Lemmon as an honest man who is surrounded by people who prioritize money over safety and ethics.
Fonda is a woman who just wants to be taken seriously in an industry that sees her as a commodity.
Douglas is an Activist who wants to be able to make a living without sacrificing his ethics.

Any of these still sound relevant in 2025?

Just know that this Film isn't an Action Film- save for two car chases- and was made in a very cinema verité manner.

Simply put, there's only one song on the Soundtrack (which plays over the driving Credits).
The Ending plays to complete silence, which was probably really interesting in those weeks after 3 Mile Island, no?

In spite of its confusing (to us now, as the expression was notable then) Title, this one is a must-see...even if the Plant is a Matte painting.

Next up, another random Film from the pile.  Will I go Horror or finally begin a project I planned as far back as November?  Stay tuned...

Rip-Off Cover Art: Alien Hunt

 You're lucky that H.R. Giger isn't around to see this!

A 2024 Film called Alien Hunt has a Cover that you have to see to believe...

...I mean, do I need to point out the issue here?

It is pretty much just a Xenomorph.

There are lots of imitators, including The Asylum's Alien vs. Hunter.

Even so, this was their version...

They made it more of a crab monster.

They tinted the Cover to look more like the Xenomorph, but that's it.

This Film, however, made their creature look like this...

Is someone going to get sued?

Maybe not, but...Disney is not exactly coy about doing this kind of thing.

Let's see if anything happens, I suppose.

Tubi Thursday: Wes Craven's Invitation to Hell (1984)

 Do you want to be my +1?  Probably not...except for maybe a few weirdos out there.

Over a decade after his death, I still keep finding Wes Craven Films that I didn't know about!

In this case, it is a TV Movie from the same year that his career really broke out with Nightmare.
It is...

In the Cold Open (pun accidental- this time), a man accidentally runs over Susan Lucci.

She pops up, poses and makes him melt into an '80s Movie Skeleton.

...okay.

Context?  That comes WAYYYY later.

The Plot involves a Scientist (Robert Urich) moving to a new California town (just down the road from the one with a Witch) with his family.

He's working on a Space Suit with a bunch of functions that surely won't come into play in Act 3.

He also works for Kevin McCarthy, who only has like 2 Scenes.  Aw!

He's basically told that he should join the local Country Club and it will help his career.

In fact, everyone insists on it!

His friend- aka That Guy from Murphy Brown- and his family did it.

It involves walking into a weird Sauna which has a Guard.

Nothing weird there.

People around him change- think of a gender flipped Stepford Wives- and he's pressed more to join, even by Lucci directly.

His family joins without him and act very strange after that.

Can he uncover the secret of the Sauna?
Is the Title kind of a SPOILER?
Is this a less gross version of Body Melt?

To find out, see the weird-ass finale of this Film.

A pretty enjoyable Film, provided that you can be a bit patient.

Like the previous Craven Film, remember that this is a TV Movie with a TV Movie pacing and a TV Movie Budget.

The former is shown when you have to watch build up after build up.  The Plot kind of meanders a bit as we get from Act 1 to Act 2.

The latter is key as the Film does a big flex for the Finale.  I won't SPOIL it, but it involves a Space Suit, the laser light shows from Superman 2 and a little bit of Poltergeist.

If you can make it to the end, you're well rewarded.

These kinds of Films by Craven are interesting.  They aren't as much straight Horror and more like Deadly Blessing or Deadly Friend.  

Alas, we never got a third part of the unofficial Deady Trilogy.

Just be patient with this one- like most TV Movies, if we're being honest- and you'll like what you see.

All in all, a pretty odd Film that really makes you wait for the good stuff.  That said, the Finale is totally worth it!

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Ape vs. Mecha-Ape- New World Order (2024)

 The Asylum is a give that keeps on giving.

That gift is smelly socks, but it is a gift nonetheless.

In this case, let's look at a Japanese Poster for their most recent MonsterVerse rip-off Film.

As a bonus, its Title was designed to leech off of Marvel's most recent Film (that was meant to come out in 2024).

Hot damn!
Japan coming in hot!

I've not seen this Film, save for a few stills, but there's no way that it is this bombastic and cool.

One day soon I'll find out.

My Crazy Youth: A Fantastic Four Cartoon with a now ironic Guest Star

 A Fantastic Year to be a Marvel fan!

With the release of the first proper Trailer for this July's Fantastic Four: First Steps out now, let me look back at an earlier adaptation of the team.

This is 2006's Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes.

Specifically, I'm covering a later Episode which is notable for its Guest Star.

He...
Is...
I-RON MAN!

In this Show, the Foursome are famous Heroes located in New York City.

They have a sort-of Anime look to them, with the elongated bodies close to that of Aeon Flux.

Anyhow, they're being a fun family when they are attacked by the original Iron Man Suit.

It is soon joined by more!

The team goes right to the source, confronting Tony Stark at his Headquarters.

He's sure that his suits are safe...only to find them missing.

The unseen culprit tries to blow them all up.

As it turn out, the culprit is Dr. Doom!

Yep, that is why this Episode is so ironic to watch now in 2025.

Of course, the Heroes team up to save the day,

Iron Man vows to return the favor.
Does he appear again in the remaining 4 Episodes?

No.

A fun Episode.

After all, we get to see the Fantastic Four, Iron Man and Dr. Doom in one Episode.

I didn't see much of this Show originally, as its original run on Cartoon Network was very erratic.  Apparently only 8 of the 26 Episodes ran originally.

It took until 2009 until all of them actually aired.

The idea of Iron Man and Doom as villains is a popular one, going back to the 1970s where they ended up in Arthurian England.
Of course I'm not kidding.

This Show is pretty fun all around and is worth a look on Disney Plus, along with Iron Man's own show.

Just don't hold his scary smile against him please.

Are there more hidden gems to cover in this Series?  Let me take a look in the coming weeks...

Tubi Thursday: Pro-Wrestlers vs. Zombies (2014)

 With WrestleMania coming this weekend, why not some Wrestling content?

In this case, a silly Direct-to-Video Film with a bunch of over the hill Wrestlers.
Joy.

The Film begins with shots of people at a local Wrestling Show.

Amongst the group is the late Kevin Sullivan (who isn't officially in the Movie) and TNA's So Cal Val.

Notable to the Plot, however, is the fact that Shane Douglas straight up kills a guy in the ring...and leaves.

The Medic at the Scene just happens to be that guy's Brother.

He uses his money to get the Promoter (and also the Film's Director) to book Shane and some others a 'private Show.'

Our Director looks like Edgar Wright...if he was played by an Actor in a shoddy Biopic.

Also, he's evil now and kills a random lady.

He makes her a Zombie and she makes some more, including out of Shane Douglas' 'family.'

Does that qualify as 'getting their ass franchised?'

The Wrestlers- which include Roddy Piper, Jim Duggan, Matt Hardy and his future wife Reby- arrive at the place....

...before Zombies show up.  What a twist.

Kurt Angle was also invited as a 'surprise.'

That translates to 'we got him last minute and shot his Scenes in a day.'

Yeah, he's barely in this.

The group get split up and killed in various, cheesy ways.

This is a Film which raised its Budget via Kickstarter and Shane Douglas, so don't expect fancy CGI.

Do expect a surprisingly good performance her from Piper.
No, really.

Seriously, his few Scenes of actual emoting are good.

Was he too good for this?  Yes.

He manages to survive to the end with our Final Girl- just like Karl Urban yesterday.
Weird.  

The End.

It was honestly pretty painful, no matter how much I love Pro Wrestlers and cheesy Movies.

For starters, the almost all Nu Metal Soundtrack.  Ouch.
Not even the funny kind of bad music.

The Production and Plot are really cheap.  
It basically just amounts to random Wrestlers running around, sometimes getting a focus Scene and then dying to Zombies.

Outside of Piper, I just did not care.

He is truly the best part of this Film.  He has presence.  He can act here.  He actually feels motivated!

Give him a good Film and you get They Live.  Give him a cheesy, direct-to-video one and you get, well, the other 86% of his Filmography.

I do love the closing shot of Piper in front of an American flag.  Nothing embodies America like a Canadian Scotsman!

This one was just kind of annoying, didn't have great action and wasn't really the fun kind of cheesy.  In fact, here's a reenactment of my face when I realized that I still had over an hour to go in this one...

A Film that wastes a potential idea for more of the same Indy Horror.  I'm sure it was fun to be an Indy Wrestler getting beaten up in zombie makeup by Roddy Piper...but not for me.

'00s Trash: Doom (2005)

 In 2025, Karl Urban will Star in his 2nd Video Game Film (Mortal Kombat 2).  Why has it been 20 years since the last one then?

Today's Film is Doom, specifically the 2005 Film version.  
I saw this in Theaters.  Did you?
Don't be shy- we all make mistakes.

Like the Game Series, this one lasted in limbo for a while as an idea that just couldn't come to fruition.  Different Writers, Directors and Actors were attached.

Finally, Doom 3 came out and did huge.  The Film was based mostly on that (with liberal helpings of Aliens and others).

So why was it a flop?  Was my $7 not enough?

The Film, as mentioned, features Karl Urban and one of the last Films to have 'The Rock' in its credits, as he switched to his real name by the time Southland Tales came out.

Why did this fail?  Let's find out...

In the Cold Open, a bunch of Scientists are killed by an unseen thing/creature.

The head guy is Dr. Carmack.
Get it?  Get it?!?

A bunch of Marines are sent in to figure out what happened.

That involves teleporting to Mars via floating goo.

I have no questions about that whatsoever.

The group is made up of pretty basic Stock Characters.

Lead Guy (Urban), Leader (Rock), New Guy (who'd end up on Grantchester), Sassy Guy, etc.

Rock tries to talk Urban out of going, but he does anyways.
It wouldn't be much of a Film if he didn't.

As it turns out, the Lead Archaeologist is Urban's Sister (Rosamund Pike).

They spend the next 20+ minutes wandering around the dark facility to establish things.

Too bad you can't really see shit.

Along the way, the Stoic Veteran is killed and tensions run high.

What is killing people there?!?

Oh and The Rock might be going a little bit crazy.

Once he finds the Weapons Lab, he's drawn to the BFG (Basically Functional Gun- right?).

His mini-arc is getting his hands on it, which involves getting, well, someone else's hand to open the biometric locks.

They slowly figure out that the people are being mutated into Monsters by way of experimentation and said creatures spreading the infection.

More dead meats die, including the future Night King and Not Bill Duke from Predator.

Despite the Film being set in 2046 on Mars, this advanced lab still uses CRT monitors that you can swing like a flail! 

FYI for some reason, my friends and I found this bit hilarious at the time and I still remember it nearly 20 years later.

Things get worse as Rock goes full-on evil, kills the Rookie and is seemingly devoured by the mob (a la Day of the Dead).

Urban is wounded, so his Sister gives him the formula (which gives you a 24th Genomic Strain) to save him.

After 90 minutes, we finally get the famous First Person Sequence.

It is about a minute longer on the Unrated Cut here.  It is still too short.

The final battle comes down to Urban and Rocky (who didn't die). 

The two have Alien Infection Powers (a la T-Virus mutations in the Resident Evil Films).

Urban eventually blows up Rock and escapes with his Sister.

The End.

A Film that should have really focused more on the Plot and actually lighting its Scenes instead of just saying 'F**k' a few dozen more times.

This Film is pretty dumb.
To be fair, they borrow wholesale from Doom 3 in many ways, so blame that.

Mind you, that Game is not known for its Plot...so maybe write a better one.

As noted, this is the Unrated Cut, which means a bit more blood and swearing.  Little bits of Characterization are added and one sight gag is paid off.

We learn that early attempts to teleport failed, as noted by a Scientist missing his legs.  In the Theatrical Cut, we just kind of figure out what that means.
In the Unrated Cut, a pair of CGI legs hit the floor.  Hilarity ensues.

There are good, or at least fun, moments here. 
The Rock nails his 'going crazy' Arc nicely. 
The creatures look good (reminding me a bit of The Lair later).
Pike does her best with the material.

Ultimately, the Film does just enough fan service- like the BFG- to appease a small amount of the base, but not much more.
After all, they didn't pay to see it in 2005.

Now then, time to get back to my CrossFit Session...

Next up, maybe I'll watch something classier to cleanse my palette.  Any '70s Movies in the pile perhaps?  Stay tuned...