Tubi Thursday; Christmas Blood (aka Juleblod) {2017}

 A Christmas Film from out of America.  Something that is Foreign must be better, right?

Right?!?

In a (very) Cold Open, a man dressed as Santa (eventually) kills a little girl and her Father.

Kids aren't off limits?  

Well, that...won't factor into the Story at all later. 
Oh.

In Norway, it isn't Show Don't Tell.

A bunch of pop up text tells us that they caught the killer and he was shot in the head, but survived...somehow.

He was locked up in an Asylum for 25 years.

Vis ikke fortell!!!

The actual Plot drags for a long-ass time.  Here's what happens...

A bunch of ladies go to a mostly-empty Town on Christmas Vacation.
Meanwhile, a Cop who looks like Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception (if you really squint) is on the case.

He eventually recruits the Cop from the Opening/Original Killings, who's now a drunk.  Ha? 

A pair of Cops are killed.  

They are never spoken of again.

After a long, long time, the killer finally begins to randomly kill the group of young people and their Tinder Dates.  Don't ask.

Is there a moral?
Is there a proper ending?

Nei.

Can I refund this for Store Credit?  I'll even take Kohl's Cash!

Christmas Blood was a long, dull Film that would randomly feature a bit of gruesome blood and guts.  

If you want to slog through an average of 10 minutes of bickering, techno music and filler to get to the moments, this is for you!

I didn't care about these Characters.
The Film is just vicious and cruel to its Characters.

They even do cliches and make them worse.  

As an example, we get the 'Mortician Eats While Showing the Body to the Cop' Cliche.  Only this time, he drops some of his food on the body, scoops it up with his hand and eats it.

Gross.

To be nice, they have some good splatter effects.  It's just too bad it is in THIS Film and not a good one.

Feel free to check this one out after my warning, but just know that this face is waiting for you if you do...

I almost want to apologize to the cheaper, sleazier Films I've covered from America.  Almost- they still sucked.