A good Story meets a good Director...but turns out crap. How did we get to this?
In 2004, Frank Oz Directed this Remake (which I guess we needed after multiple Sequels). It cost over $70 million (more today if you adjust for inflation)! 2 years later, another '70s Film would be Remade with Nicole Kidman as the Lead. Coincidence? Probably yes. What went wrong?
Well, to get there, we have to know the Story IN the Film. So let's see what secrets are there to be found? To find out, read on...
At the pitch, a man who's wife left him in one of the Shows arrives and tries to kill her!
Since he also killed his Wife, she's now 'excommunicated' from the TV Industry. Funny- we've had MULTIPLE Suicides of Bachelor/Bachelorette Contestants, but nothing happened to them.
She's very out of it, so her Husband decides to move to Stepford.
She's thrilled, as you can see.
The women there act like they still live in the 1950s (as Male TV Executives saw it, at least) and are led by Glenn Close.
It's like you always dress for the Kentucky Derby!
And yes, I can reuse that joke, since this is a Remake.
She finds TWO outsider friends in the Community this time.
And yes, I can reuse that joke, since this is a Remake.
Bette Midler plays the same Character from the original, while we get what I think was SUPPOSED TO BE a progressive update.
There's a Gay Couple, which is a nice update in theory, but we'll see the issue later.
One of the Wives- Faith Hill- short circuits at a big Event and is taken away. Remember this.
A bit later, the Men's Club finally trusts Kidman's Husband- Matthew Broderick- and reveals the secret.
They do so by having Hill appear again and act as a literal ATM!
So here's where the new addition falls apart.
This is a 2000's Gay Couple, so one of them has to be campy, catty and over-the-top.
His partner- since I guess they aren't married- replaces him with a Robot too!
His partner- since I guess they aren't married- replaces him with a Robot too!
So yeah, he's *literally* the Woman here in this Metaphor. Yeah....
We don't get the 'talk to a guy and disprove the Water is the Source' Scene, but do get her basically Googling the other Wives.
Naturally, they didn't cover up their digital tracks.
The last straw is when, of course, her friend is replaced and turned into a cliché Housewife.
In a Deleted Scene, we see her full, robotic form in what must have taken CG Animators months to work on. Why was it cut then?
Naturally, it all comes back to Kidman back in Town at the Men's Club and confronted by everyone.
In what feels like (and was) a Reshoot, the man behind it all- Christopher Walken- plays a video explaining how they put 'Nano Chips' into the Women's Heads to control them via a Controller.
How did that ATM thing work again?
We get the dark Ending...for about a minute. This included them all having their minds transplanted/downloaded into Robot Bodies.
Basically, that didn't sit well with Test Audiences, so they did lots of Reshoots to give us this new Ending where...
1) Broderick sneaks into the Lab and turns off the Chips.
2) The Women all rebel (with a Deleted Bit of Hill using her Extendo-Arm to choke her Husband).
2) The Women all rebel (with a Deleted Bit of Hill using her Extendo-Arm to choke her Husband).
3) Walken freaks out and is attacked by Kidman, who knocks his head off to reveal...he's a Robot?!?
4) Close- who was absent for the middle portion of the Film- is revealed to be the Woman behind it all, since her Husband left her...so she killed him and replaced him with a Robot.
Yes, SHE was behind this.
Oh and our Heroes go on Larry King, where they reveal that the bad Husbands now live as (basically) Slaves in Stepford. The (new) End.
A Film with lots of promise, lots of money behind it and...no ability to stick the landing. It's a shame too. Frank Oz is a really good Director. The Story by Ira Levin is really good. I don't hate the idea of Remaking this Film after so long and with new Technology.
Sadly, the benefits just do show themselves too well here. The Story updates are awkward at best (see my mini-rant on the Gay Couple) and so much of the CGI bit were cut when a Reshoot/Rewrite said that they weren't Robots anymore.
Without those bits, you just have a glossy retread of a classic Tale that is about as subtle as a giant brick to head! The Character Arcs are also awkward, as Kidman has to apologize for working too much and tries to become a Housewife before they even try to replace her. I get that her Arc has ups and downs- duh. She just suffers here by having the blame placed on her...as opposed to her Husband who's 99% sure he's up for replacing her with a Fembot!
The Redone Ending is a giant, confusing mess too. Close being behind this is a twist that doesn't really make sense and it is a bit insulting. It's just dumb.
On the plus side, I'm finally done with this 'Series' unless I can find a good copy of The Stepford Husbands. Until then, I'll just look for a gift with my name on it. Dang- not quite!
Next time, I try to actually- you know- do something for Black History Month. How about a Film that pities no fools? Stay tuned...
No comments:
Post a Comment