'60s Trash?: House of a Thousand Dolls (1967)

 The more friendly version of a Rob Zombie Film?  I thought I was done with Rob Zombie-esque Titles after The House of Seven Corpses, but here we go.  This is House of a Thousand Dolls, a 1967 Film with Vincent Price.  To give some backstory, I found a random VHS in a Thrift Store.  Sadly, the tape would not allow me to copy it to DVD for easier viewing/screen capping.  Damn you, Hollywood Video!  The Film has since been released in other, non-dead Formats and I found it that way too.  I guess you figured that out on account of the fact that I'm reviewing the Film now, huh?  The Plot involves Tangier, Price and a Brothel.  Vincent Price is just about the last thing I want to think about when I think about Brothels (which everyone does all of the time, right?), but, oh well.  When bad guys are afoot, who else can stop them but a middle-aged Criminal Pathologist?  The Police- nah.  Daredevil- too far away.  I'm sure this guy has it covered!  To find out if my faith in him is justified, read on...

In our Cold Open, we see a bunch of people- including Price- attending what seems to be a Funeral.

However, it's not.

Instead, a woman pops out screaming and we learn why- she was kidnapped and brought here to Tangier.

Here to Tangier isn't a Band's Name yet, right?

A Couple- George Nader from Robot Monster and Ann Smyrner from Reptilicus- go to Tangier on vacation and run into an old friend with a problem.

You see, he's tracked his missing girlfriend to here.

His search ends...poorly.

He runs afoul of the pair that are running The House of Dolls, the Brothel which kidnapped his girlfriend.

It is run by Price and his lady companion, who proceed to kidnap his Girlfriend.

He's also a Stage Magician, since people had to work multiple jobs even in 1967.

To keep the man from finding out the truth, Price pretends to help him.  He's quite subtle, as you can see.

He continues to work with the Police, who suspect Price since...well, wouldn't you?

Bad guys keep coming for him, leading to a very '60s thing- normal-looking guys in suits having prolonged fist fights.

There are a few here and it feels like something that must have been exciting for audiences.

Price talks about how he plans to get out, since the heat is up too high.

His cohort confronts our Hero and agrees to help rescue his girlfriend, if he helps her and Price get out.

Will he agree?

Yes and no.

Her plan falls apart when everyone swarms the House, good and bad alike.

In a big scuffle, our Hero makes Price fall to his death.  The woman says that he shouldn't have died, since he was the King of Hearts.

Not so fast- the Detective and our Hero then reveal that she was actually in charge.  Oh.  Okay.  The End.

A pretty so-so affair.  For as salacious as the Film sounds, there's not much there.  The basic premise- women are kidnapped and forced to work at a Brothel- is obviously not a light-hearted affair.  The Film just doesn't do much with it.  There's a funny story or two about how they were concerned about interference from people in the Area when they made it.  They supposedly kept a guy on payroll who's job it was to dress like Abraham Lincoln in case people came around looking for a reason to shut them down.  No, really.  Is it just me or does that make the Film look MORE kinky?!?  It's just me, isn't it?  Anyhow, this Film is built up by reports to be like Caligula, wherein they shot really dirty/freaky stuff when the serious Actors were away.  They got a fun surprise when they saw what was shot without them!  In this case, not so much.  Is it just that 50 years have gone by and things have changed that much?  Eh, maybe?  If you get past that, it's a fairly by-the-numbers affair of Macho Guy in Suit fights other Guys in Suits.  The little bit of intrigue is only hinted at and the big reveal is kind of tossed in at the last minute.  Price does his best with this part, but he can only do so much.  If they had somehow switched the Leads out and Price was running around Tangier as a bad-ass Criminal Pathologist, I would be all in!  As it is, House of 1,000 Dolls is a decent, dated affair, but nothing more.  Having mentioned all of the Action, is it worth asking if this Film inspired The Bourne Identity?

Next up, a Film that seems to be inspired by an oft-remade Sci-Fi/Horror Film.  When in doubt, cast one of the Film's Stars in yours.  Stay tuned...