'70s Class: William Friedkin's Sorcerer (1977)

 At long last, I cover a Film that really makes you think of something much different.  This is Sorcerer, a 1977 Film that is NOT about Magic.  Please don't stop reading- I'd appreciate it.  The Film is based on a very famous Book by those wacky French people- 'The Wages of Fear.'  It sure sounds fun!  The Film is NOT based on the 1956 Film based on the same Book- at least if you ask William Friedkin.  They're both based on the Book, but he insists that one is not a Remake of the other.  Whatever you say!  The Plot involves 4 people who have to do a dangerous, life-threatening job in order to possibly live a normal life again.  No pressure!  In 2021, looking into the Cast of the Film is both interesting and depressing.  You find out about them...and realize that pretty much all of them are dead.  Yikes.  Hey, if you're reviewing a Film like this, you can get nice and dark.  I should note that the Writer here (the Screenplay, to be clear) was the man who co-Wrote and Directed The Hellstrom Chronicle.  A big thing with this Movie is that its failure at the Box Office is often conflated with some opinions that I don't agree with.  Essentially, this came out and underperformed (it cost about $20 million and made $9 million), while another Film came out as a huge success.  If you hadn't guessed by the year, it was STAR WARS.  You can read here all about how certain Critics like Pauline Kael took this opportunity to be, well, their most snobbish.  Of course, as History has since shown, a key element from this Film would end up in a Star Wars property.  That long aside...aside, this Film is all about its Characters.  Will they learn a lesson about their past misdeeds or will they all just die?  To find out, read on...

The Film opens with a quartet of Scenes to introduce our Characters.  I'll summarize for simplicity...

One is a killer, who...gets away with it.
One is a Bomber who escapes justice, but will clearly remain a wanted man.

One is a French Banker who can't pay off a massive loan and flees the Country.

One is a Robber who inadvertently kills the wrong man and is wanted by the Boston Mob.

Three out of the four end up in a small Village in Central America.

They fled in desperation, so they are not in a great place financially, working rough jobs and being miserable.

An explosion rocks a nearby Oil Derrick, killing many and leading to a new problem that has to be solved.

They pick the noble solution.

Sorry, I meant the Nobel solution- dynamite.

Unfortunately, it was improperly-stored and will explode at the slightest shake!

The Owner hires 4 people for a dangerous job- transporting the dynamite a distance of 200 miles via truck.

Naturally, our Heroes sign up for the job.  The 4th member is apparently a Nazi in hiding, but he's killed by the first guy we saw (the contract killer) who takes his place.

Road Trip!

They set out in two trucks- one named Sorcerer, so hence the confusing Title- and have to cross dangerous train with, well, dangerous cargo.

In the most famous Scene (it's on the Poster), they must cross a narrow, wooden bridge on the trucks DURING A RAIN STORM.

It's really intense and feels legit.

There proves to be many dangers on the trip, including would-be robbers, Natives, a fallen tree and, of course, having one tire go out before a truck goes BOOM!

The aforementioned Robbers wound the Contract Killer and he dies, leaving Scheider alone to drive the truck...until it dies.

He's not doing well at the end, as you can see.

Very old SPOILERS ahead...

In the Book (and original Film), the lone Survivor is so desensitized to danger after surviving that he recklessly drives away with the money...and dies.

Less old SPOILERS ahead...

In this Film, Scheider gets the money and citizenship, but wants to dance with the local Waitress before he leaves.  He stalls too long, however, as the guy who sent him here and the Mobster show up to kill him.  The *bleak* End.

A good Film, but it sure isn't fun.  Bad people do bad things.  Bad people have bad things done to them.  Bad people must try to become good people while they do a most-likely suicide mission.  Bad people don't get good things in the end.  This one of those Films where you have to accept that the point is for them all to be bad in some way.  They try to give a couple of them some redeeming traits- like the French Banker regretting his actions and leaving a note for his wife- but just barely.  They feel bad about being in the situation they are in, but have they really changed?  The Film also attaches a certain irony to most of the deaths, as the Bomber is blown up, while the Killer is shot and killed.  Obviously Scheider meets his comeuppance in a pretty obvious way.  Is there a moral here?  Is there a point?  Sorcerer is a well-made Film that feels gritty, rough and all sorts of deep.  Ultimately though, it is just bad people being punished by other bad people, so how am I supposed to feel?  I guess  it is something like this.

Next up, I switch gears pretty dramatically.  In order to watch a likely-bad Movie I already own, I have to see the first Film.  Stay tuned...

The Story of the (Once) Missing 'Batman: The Brave and the Bold' Episode

 What happens when you push the Standards & Practices Department one step too far?

Batman: The Brave and the Bold was a fun Cartoon based on the Comic Book of the same name.
In it, Batman teamed up with a Hero (or Heroes) in a Silver Age (aka the 1960s) Adventure that would have wacky moments, strong action and a self-aware silliness not seen since the Adam West Batman Show.

The subject today is 'The Mask of Matches Malone,' the 17th Episode of Season 2.

  
So why am I watching it on the Season 3 DVD?

A conflict arises as Batman tries to stop Catwoman from stealing a magic artifact- that gives the wearer 9 Lives-, while Huntress and Black Canary are trying to stop Two-Face from stealing the same thing.

He gets away, setting up a conflict between the ladies.
Happy Woman's History Month!

Two-Face sets up a criminal Auction for the item, so Batman goes in undercover as Matches Malone, his go-to faux criminal nom de guerre.

During the battle, he gets hit on the head and, since he's a Cartoon Character, he gets amnesia.

Matches takes the artifact and begins a life of crime!

The trio try to get him to come to his senses, since Batman as a criminal is as effective as he is when he's a hero.  Also he's somewhat immortal (for the time being).

This leads to a Musical Number called 'The Birds of Prey' wherein they sing about how great they are compared to their male counterparts.

One line involves talking about how Aquaman is courageous, but he has, well, a small fish.

In the original airing, the line is punctuated by a single finger being waved.

That was the last straw and the Episode was NOT put on the Season 2 DVDs (it was released in 2 Parts).

An Edit was made for future airings wherein they cut to a fish tank instead (admittedly a creative edit).
This Version, by the way, IS on HBO Max, so the Episode isn't lost now...it just was for like a year.

If you want to know about the actual Story, Batman 'dies' as Matches and is back to normal.  It sort of makes sense (in a funny comic book kind of way).

That's it really.

If you're making a Kid's Show, don't try to get away with jokes about characters having small members, I guess.

Otherwise, you'll end up as a 'Special Feature' on a later DVD, hidden away for only weirdos like me to care about.

A simple reminder that Cartoon Shows/Episodes being pulled isn't a 2021 thing- it's a constant thing.

New Streaming: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier- Episode 1

 After the fun ride with WandaVision, can the TV MCU keep up the quality?  Let's find out with...

In the time following The Blip (when everyone returned from Thanos' Snap), the world changed.

As such, Falcon decides that he has to be his own man and gives Captain America's Shield to the Smithsonian.

Can he do that though?

While he struggles with that, he tries to reconnect with his remaining family.

Working for the Government, he comes across a group called The Flagsmashers who want to return the World to 'the way it was' before the Blip.

Yeah, the billions of dead people should stay that way?

Meanwhile, The Winter Soldier has been pardoned and tries to adapt to his new World as well.

Can he get over his past to help Falcon deal with things?
Also, what big twist (which every story summary will SPOIL anyways) will come along to change things even more?

To find out, stream the Show.

A strong, emotional and grounded start.  The MCU is full of big, boisterous things.  Thor is the God of Thunder.  There are Films wherein a talking Racoon and Tree are best friends.  Thanos has, let's be honest, a chin like a scrotum.  What they do well is make the crazy things happen in conjunction with real, human moments.  WandaVision had poor Monica go through a serious trauma when she found out her Mom had died...3 years ago...even though she just saw her (since she was erased in the Snap).  This Show has its own moments, as it draws parallels between Falcon giving up Cap's shield and his Sister wanting to sell their family boat.  Symbolism!  I won't SPOIL anything in-depth, but there is a good moment or two with The Winter Soldier and his old friend.  It's...rough.  This one is more about set-up and building things for the rest of the Series.  It's nice to see the two Heroes back and I'm looking forward to seeing their personal interactions play out.  In contrast, this is my response to people who want there to be even more Zack Snyder Films in the DCEU...

Next time, the duo finally unite to save the day.  What happens when they get their ass-kicked though?  See you then...

Delayed Reviews: Demons 5- The Devil's Veil (aka The Mask of Satan)

 It's about time I made good on a promise from 11 years ago!  

Back in 2010, I finished covering the quartet of Films by Lamberto Bava that included Demons 3: The Ogre.  

In the final one (seen here), I mentioned that I was done unless I can find Demons 5: Black Sunday.  I forgot...for a long time.  

This is Demons 5: The Devil's Veil, a 1990 Film from Italy.  

Why does it have a different Title?  Well, the Film is a partial homage to MARIO Bava's Black Sunday, hence the unofficial Title.  The Film thankfully stands on its own...but it sure is weird.  

The Plot involves people in an Ice Cavern, a Witch, a blind Priest and some freaky monsters.  

As far as notable Cast goes, there's not much.  Our Heroines was briefly engaged to Klaus Kinski (she must have some stories!), one of them was the Female Lead in Black Cobra (which gave us all Poor Bastards of Cinema) and one of the group is Director Michele Soavi.  

Fans of Rifftrax might recognize one Star from Ghosthouse, while fans of Bad Movies might recognize her from Troll 3/Creepers/Contamination .7.  That's basically it.  

Was it worth waiting 11 years to finally do this?  

To find out, read on...

The Earth shifts and a bunch of skiers fall into a crevice.

They thankfully don't jump right into cannibalism, which is almost always everyone's concern post-Donner Party.

While some of them look for a way out, others find a frozen body and decide to remove the mask on it...to sell, I guess.

Who does that?!?

The entryway collapses and kills one of them.  The desperate group finds a random entryway to an area and just goes through it.

This is people taking ALL OF the wrong choices in a Choose Your Own Adventure Book.

They find a Blind Priest alone in a snowy village (which is oddly lit for being unexposed to the Sun) and turn to Page 33 by choosing to immediately fall asleep in his House.

When he finds out what they did, he's not happy.  He only warns our Lead, however, as he thinks that the others have been compromised.

It all relates to a watch named Anabis who was given the titular mask (with nails in it!) and was kept there.

Only the Priest survives now, apparently, as the watch...but he also isn't there to see them take the mask, so...useless.

The group starts to get possessed in a particular order...

Going by first names, it happens in the order to spell out 'Anabis,' which means that our Heroine (Sabina) is last.

She keeps trying to get our Lead to sleep with her and, well, something is definitely up with her.

After killing her to save her soul, he wakes up...and everyone is fine?

"I had the craziest dream- and you were there and you were there?'

Well, we're only an hour in, so that was a lie.

It's all a continuous trick to get him to give in to Anabis and empower her.

He finally wins out and...wakes up to find his friends dead in the Cavern.  He rushes to escape as the Movie ends (without a shirt, so good luck!).

A weird mess of a Film that is at least endearing.  

I will certainly give the Film points right off the bat for creativity.  It's a lazy thing to say that it is a Remake of Black Sunday (the Italian one not the killer Blimp one).  It features a similar creature and very loose Themes, but that's it.  

Credit where credit is due, this is the kind of thing that Remakes should do.  

That said, the Movie itself is...interesting.  The premise starts out strong, but kind of has many, many problems.  The Characters are pretty cut-and-paste.  

I think the biggest reason for that is that the Plot necessitates so many Characters to spell out 'Anabis.'  If her name was like 'Rosa' or something, they could have been more nuanced.  

Once they get possessed, they just are there to be freaky and attack.  The Priest does well enough, but eventually is just a Plot Device.  

In the Third Act, he's dead and giving advice 'from the great beyond' to make things work.  The fake-out Ending is the big issue here.  

The Pacing is just killed by the Film just kind of restarting in a silly way.  The logic behind it is intriguing...but not great.  

I will give credit to the freaky effects that sometimes show up.  It's not awful, but it pales in comparison to Demons and Demons 2.  

My copy has the original Italian Audio and some Subtitles.  It is just too bad that, for some reason, the SRT (or Subtitle Reader Track) File mixes up the letters 'rt' for 'm,' giving me such lines like this...

Next up, I continue Make Up March with a Film that I meant to cover long ago.  Gotta love misleading Titles, no?  Stay tuned...

Quick Review: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

 After a Trailer that inspired Internet outrage, could this Film be saved?  As one of the last major Films out before COVID shut everything down, let's see...

After a random In Media Res intro, we learn that Sonic has great power, was raised by an Owl and lives here on Earth in hiding now.

This Intro is oddly-serious and feels like world-building for a Sequel more than anything else.

A sad little Sonic accidentally brings attention to where he's been hiding and now he needs help to get away.

As you can see, he can't quite do it on his own.

He must join forces with James Marsden, a local Cop who dreams of a new life.  Wait- so he was the Disney Prince in Enchanted and now he acts like a Disney Princess here?!?

Continuing an odd trope, he must now drive Sonic to San Francisco and avoid danger.

A crazed Scientist named Robotnik- a scene-stealing Jim Carrey- follows them and uses his many drones to make the trip difficult.

So if his name was Mopednik, would he sic nothing but armored Mopeds on them?

Can the pair make the trip in one piece?  

Will the Heroes Fight Before the Third Act trope put an end to this?

Will Sonic find his way home or is this one of those Films where he will realize that he was 'home all along?'

Aw crap, it is, isn't it?  Oh well, it's on Prime now.  The End.

A pretty predictable, but still well-made Film.  Sonic the Hedgehog has the enviable task of being better than other Video Game Films.  It doesn't turn beloved Characters into weird dinosaurs or introduce another 'Alice,' so it wins!  It isn't immaculate.  It isn't terrible.  Somewhere between these two extremes, you have this Film.  The Plot is solid.  The only big critique for me here is that the Cold Open involving young Sonic feels like it comes from a different Film.  The early tone just feels out of place, but does at least set up why Sonic is on Earth.  It's a cute touch to make the name of the small Town he's hiding in after a Game Level.  The use of Robotnik as a name is a bit silly, given that this is the real world.  It would make more sense for his name to be something more normal that ends in 'nik' (like Dominik) and his nickname would be Robotnik.  Instead, he's just a guy with weird family name that makes no sense.  The Film is pretty by-the-numbers, even giving us the 'Quicksilver shows off' Scene.  Oh look- they did it again.  On that note, where is the drama for most of this if everything moves at 1/1,000th speed for him?  Sonic is a fine enough Film and nothing more.  It doesn't have any really new ideas, as shown by this compare-contrast picture that went around the Internet after the original Trailer dropped.  On top is from the Film Hop and on the bottom is Sonic (before the redesign)...

Considering the outrage the admittedly-freaky Sonic design got, it's a miracle that this works.  It isn't going to be more than a fun Kid's Film...but isn't that enough?

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Scalpel (Part 2)

 A Poor Bastard that services the Plot...but that's about it.

In Scalpel, a Surgeon has to make a woman up to look like his Daughter, since she's missing and going to inherit $5 million.

Why is she missing?

Well, it goes back to when one of her dates leaves for the Night, only to be choked out by a man in his car!

The man's body is dragged away from the car to hide it...

...in the nearby Swamp.  That's what you get for living in a Tennessee Williams Play!

Oh and the Daughter sees this.

The extra reason she freaks out: she sees that her Dad is the one who did the killing.

RIP Plot Device...I mean, what's your name again?  According to Wikipedia, it is 'Donald.'

Seriously though, his death is just there to backfill the Plot.  He doesn't even have a last name!

Next time, a random woman gets caught in the crossfire.  Weirdly, it doesn't involve a gun...but it's not good either.  See you then...

VHS for the LIE: The Final Sacrifice (aka Quest for the Lost City)

 Sometimes you have to lie to your audience.

Should you?  No.
Will you?  Hell yes!

In 1990, we got The Final Sacrifice.
In 1994, someone repackaged the Film on VHS as...

It is the Double Dragon Sequel that we never knew that we needed!

Here's the back Cover that is a bit more honest, but definitely picks the most dynamic shots they can to trick people.

So, if you don't know, Sacrifice is the tale of a young guy (who looks like Wesley Crusher) and a mustachioed drunk named Rosdower.

Here he is in action.

Here's the real question: who are those guys on the front cover?

Are they from a different Film? 
Were they just Models hired for this shot?
Would you spend extra money to repackage, of all things, The Final Sacrifice?

If I can find answers, I'll update the Post.