Andy Sidaris will finally be out of my life!
Back in 2017, I decided to do all of the Triple B Films by the late Director. The reason- my Dad bought the DVD Set. Not every story has a complicated reasoning- sometimes it is that simple.
After Return to Savage Beach, I thought I was done.
Oops, there is Seven, a Film I covered as part of an April Fools Day Post. Now I was done, right? Wrong!
The *actual* first Film by Sidaris was Stacey, the origin of this whole trashy Series. The Plot involves the titular Character- who is a Detective and Race Car Driver- solving a family case of blackmail and murder. Let's see if you can match up, Knives Out!
If this Plot sounds familiar, I'll get to that in a bit. As Sidaris' first Film, will we see the stuff that would become his trademarks? To find out, read on...
Stacey is hired by a rich old lady to spy on her family. The reason: to find out who should be the proper heir.
Seems super shady- I'd get paid in cash...and not just because Debit Cards didn't exist yet either.
And yes, I did Google that.
Everyone is either a creep, an asshole or hiding something.
Can we just give the money to the cat instead?
The one Daughter is involved with some fishy stuff. When you go to investigate, it is important to wear your best bikini top.
Hercule Poirot did the same thing.
I did not Google that.
The Chauffeur is blackmailing, well, everyone.
One Son is hiding that he's Gay, while his Wife is hiding the fact that she's banging a different guy.
I wonder what drove them apart?
After a Party, said Chauffeur is killed.
Was it one of his victims?
Was it the guy who said that he'd kill him if he didn't pay back the loan?
Funny third thing?
Stacey and her boyfriend investigate, checking out the guy's place. Naturally, they make sure to have sex in his bed while they are there, since, you know, evidence.
They find some pictures and need them developed, so naturally...
They go to the big California Raceway to do just that, since Stacey knows a guy.
Sorry CVS, you don't get to develop the blackmail photos!
Also you likely didn't exist in Southern California back then.
Also also, I wonder if Sidaris paid any of these people for their likeness rights to be in this Film.
Stacey has a big shoot-out with the goons in and around the Raceway.
I love to see the people ignore a man running by with a shotgun in the Parking Lot.
What is this, Texas?!?
In the end, we learn that the one Daughter was the killer, since he was blackmailing her.
Were you expecting a big twist? Nope.
The End.
This was...pretty forgettable. I'm not super-shocked to see this one be forgotten. It doesn't have the big hooks that you get with Sidaris' later Films. You don't get the big explosions. You don't get the silly Action Scenes. This is the how it all started and the roots are there...but that's it.
In a way, it is like reading the first Draft of a Book. Granted- the final Book will not read a Pulitzer.
Even so, it is a fun Book that you can read for an afternoon. In this Film, the basic Plot is okay. If you're expecting any surprises, there are none. If you're expecting a big Action Scene, there is one...sort of. It's basically just run-stop-shoot-run for about 10 minutes. It's not awful, but it's not, you know, engaging.
Later Sidaris Films have bad Action Scenes, but they also have silly ones that make you laugh. For instance, the man who throws a real frisbee to the bad guys (while disguised) and then switches it with a BLADED frisbee that he just happens to be carrying. Thank Heavens for planning ahead, eh.
Just like
Seven, the basic Film is there, but nothing else. Since my copy is a VHS Rip (oddly,
Seven got a BLU-RAY Release!), it also includes a quick ad for a Porn Film that blurs out the Nudity by...tinting the whole Film pink. No, really.
Next time, I finally rewatch another Film from my childhood. Will it be good for me now? Stay tuned...
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