WTF Japan (Kind Of)?!?: The Grudge (2004)

Oh boy, this again.  After the Original (which is actually kind of a Remake anyhow), we got the 2004 American Remake of Ju-On: The Grudge.  Mind you, that Film came out right when The Ring came out (thereabouts) and we got this Remake less than 3 years later).  It's not like they discovered some hidden gem from way-back-when and Remade it- it was pretty damn new.  Never one to turn down a chance to make basically the same Movie again (he'd also do the Remake's Sequel AND Reincarnation, which is basically just this again), Takashi Shimizu took on this Film.  They brought in a new Writer, but that doesn't change much.  The idea here is kind of strange here, so try to follow.  They wanted to make the Movie again...for some reason...and change very little, so they brought in the same Director.  They kept the same location (Japan), but replaced most of the Cast with White Actors.  That means they have to keep pausing to explain why they are even in Japan, which is a distraction.  Fun Fact: Chyna was teaching English in Japan as her last job before her death.  No joke- all fact.  Is this just the same Movie with newer, more Caucasian Actors?  Is this an improved Version like Shimizu was hoping for?  To find out, read on...

Even though there's a new Writer, this Film STILL ISN'T SHOWN IN ORDER.  I'm fixing that here (mostly), so deal with it...

A crazed man kills his wife, kid and cat (not the cat!!!!) after he learns that she was obsessed with...Bill Pullman.

I believe in Rage Ghosts more than I believe that people are obsessed with banging Bill Pullman (no offense)!

Bill shows up later and finds the bodies.

In this Screen Cap, Gellar is there.  She shows up later and I'm too lazy to go back and get one without her.

Oh crap- I put the Movie back out of order!!!!

He kills himself.

He doesn't seem scared.
Was he possessed?

The Film never says, because f**k you.

A new (all-white) family moves into the House some time later.

After mostly-forgettable Scenes with them, they all die- none of them on-screen.

The Caretaker checks on the Mother- the one in the middle- as she actually dies last.  She just goes into shock and becomes comatose (I guess).

The spirit (Kayako) kills her, but isn't done with her just yet.

Another Caretaker- Sarah Michelle Gellar- comes over and is scared, but not killed by Kayako.

Why does it leave her alone (relatively- it just keeps spooking her)?  Has White Privilege finally paid off?

Will I end up a 4Chan target for that joke?  Oh well.

The bodies of the son and his wife are found in the crawlspace, but the Caretaker's body is missing, save for her lower jaw!

Said body shows up later to kill Ted Raimi since, well, that's what happens to him in these Films.

I sure hope that my Brother becomes a big-time Producer and kills me in his Films too.

Gellar finally tracks down more about the House and confronts the lead Cop about it.  He tells her that other Cops have died.

Obvious question- why hasn't the house been demolished?  The crimes in it aren't a secret and their are at least a dozen deaths tangentially-related to it.

I mean, we demolished Gacy's House (only for people to rebuild it and summon his bisexual ghost), so why not this place?

To make a long (out of order) story short, Gellar sees the flashback combo mentioned earlier (even that is out of order as she sees Pullman and then the B&W kills shown here first).

The Cop fails to burn the place down, but Gellar lights a match and...I guess fails, but also slows down Kayako.  She's in the Hospital now...somehow and still haunted.  The End.

The Grudge could be worse, but could be miles better.  The Cast does their best, but they really just get 2-3 Scenes before they die.  The interconnected nature of the tale barely works, since most deaths happen off-screen.  Gellar does fine- granted.  It has Tom Cruise's Cousin in it, so the nepotism level is up a bit here.  The best parts here are usually the pay-off to the haunting bit.  Kayako can be seen more in this version of the Story/Film, so that's something.  Due to the misaligned nature of the Scenes, we get some better payoffs early, which feels weird.  In the final bit, they build up to her showing up in full, but...I mean, she's done plenty already.  Jason Voorhees is intimidating almost every time, but he is only the MOST intimidating or scary the first few times.  It's weird that a Film like this can't figure it out.  To connect this to something nobody saw coming, it acts like a higher brow version of Son of the Blob.  That Film is basically a 'Shadow Play' (Comedy Scenes that are one-offs and end with the lights going out).  They do that, but with longer build-up.  In case you missed it, I wrote some of the summary out of my normal order- is it better this way?!?  Despite all of the supposed questions Films like this are supposed to make you ask, I have a weird one- why do you need a SECOND Carpenter waiting in the wings at all times?!?

Next time, I cover the sequel to the first Remake.  I know that the new one technically a Sidequel, but can we at least not get a Sequel to that too?  Stay tuned...