Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Troma-tizing: Surf Nazis Must Die

This is what I get for listening to people!  A friend of mine from work is always telling me to watch a film called Surf Nazis Must Die.  I finally gave in and watched it the other night.  So yeah, this is a Troma film (as you probably guessed).  As such, it includes many things that you expect.  You get overtly-goofy characters, terrible writing, almost no budget and a film dying for some Editing.  Good times, good times.  The film is about a post-apocalyptic world in which a gang of titular thugs try to take over the beach somewhere in New Jersey.  They don't make a point of this being in Tromaville for some reason (not that I'm complaining).  Regardless, this is yet another film in which Troma wastes a good opportunity for laughs and trades it in, I'm not sure what.  Gratuitous Surfing B-Roll?  Gratuitous metal-working scenes?  To see what this film is (and could have been), read on...
After an off-camera apocalypse (big shock), New Jersey was apparently in ruins.  A bunch of Warriors-style gangs (of three people) battle for control of the beach.  The most agressive: the Surf Nazis.
The gang is very agressive and strong-arms the other gangs into submission.  This is done by, I shit you not, one guy shooting a harpoon vaguely near one guy.  You're...really weak-willed.
Now here's where I break down the good and bad here.  It's not that complicated really.

* The story becomes a revenge tale involving an older, black woman trying to kill the gang.  Good.
* It takes half an hour to even start this plot.  Bad.
* Her revenge only takes place in the last ten minutes or so.  Bad.
* She disappears from big chunks of the movie, making the movie seem padded to reach 78 minutes.  Worse.
So yeah, after setting up a potentially funny and unique revenge tale, much of the film's run-time is wasted on the other gangs and their weak, ineffectual revenge plan instead.
If you're still awake by the end, you get to see the old lady chase the two remaining gang members and killing them.  It's entertaining...but far too late to make a difference.  The *yawn* End.
The law of 'Funny Title, Boring Movie' continues to be true.  Seriously, track down a bunch of silly-sounding films- pick a nice, round number like six or eight.  Now split the films up between those with silly titles (i.e. Over-Sexed Rug-Suckers From Mars, The Incredibly-Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies) and those with more normal titles (i.e. Rubber, Waxwork).  I can almost guarantee you with those that possess the goofier titles are much more boring and probably suck a lot more than the others.  The silly title is a crutch used to make your dull/stupid movie sound more interesting than it is.  With that said, Surf Nazis Must Die could have been funny.  If they had trimmed the fat and shown more of the old woman's revenge plan, I'd like it a lot more.  It would still be a Troma film, so the odds of it being 'good' were pretty slim.  If they had set up silly scenarios like her setting a trap with a Schnitzel and some dynamite, I might have chuckled a bit.  Instead, they just have the other Gangs take out all but three of the Surf Nazis on their own.  In summary, you can safely skip this film.  All of the laughs that the title will give you are more than the actual film will.  Let's just focus on the two good parts of the film...
Next up, a film that came bundled with my copy of Contamination.  Jack Palance in Genre Films is usually good for a laugh, so I may be in luck.  Stay tuned...

1 comment:


    What an awful awful AWFUL movie.