Thursday, February 25, 2021

Rare Flix: Vampires (with Duane Jones) (1986)

 A Film that might be rare for a reason.  Many Films are original.  Many Films are Remakes.  Many Films are 'inspired' by other Films.  This is closer to the latter and far from the former.  This is Vampires, a 1986 Film that is pretty damn rare.  There wasn't a DVD until a couple of years ago, to my knowledge.  The copy I found online is clearly a VHS Rip, so enjoy some iffy quality of Screen Caps.  The Plot is a bit of a rehash of Suspiria, only with vague Vampire-like people.  The Title is actually a bit of a lie, but maybe it is more of a flourish.  They are people that 'steal life' from others, so they are Vampires...kind of.  Supposedly the Film was shot near a School that Jones- who was mostly-retired at this point- taught at.  I can see him coming on board to get some Students (past and/or present) hired on and to get the project off of the ground.  At this point, he had nothing to lose, so why not?  Is his presence enough to make the Film good.  I should mention now that the Film has some extra baggage of confusion, as IMDB says that this final Film was edited FROM an incomplete Film called Negatives and then edited INTO a Film called Fright House in 1989.  Jones did not live to see this, so that might be a positive (in a morbid sort of way).  To see how you mix in an evil Teacher, Tarot Cards and a Demonic Toilet, read on...

After an Intro with Jones narrating about nothing (while sounding inciteful all the same), we get a lady who strips down for some off-screen sex with her boyfriend.

As you can see the Film's negative is, well, pretty negative.
Post-coitus, a weird sound emanates from the bathroom and the implication is that the pair are sucked out of bed and into the toilet- to their death.

Naturally, this is the stupid scene playing the one time my Roommate looks to see what I'm watching.  C'est la vie.
This all takes place at a Long Island Acting School run by a mysterious woman named Abadon.

The name would be the one this Film would get retitled to in Fright House.
Our Heroine is a Film Student who has two character traits: confusion about what is happening and a blind obsession with a boy she met once.

That boy, by the way, is the one killed by *ahem* the toilet monster.  I'm pretty sure that this one fails The Bechdel Test.
Jones finally comes around some more to liven things up between POV kills in the basement and our Heroine getting weird fainting spells in class.

You really miss him and his sweet hat when he's gone.
The woman seems to be having strange reactions in the School such as nearly fainting or serious headaches.

It is kind of explained later, but we'll get to that.
Jones, it seems, has a strong connection to the School and Abadon.  What is he trying to stop and who is he trying to save?
Shock of all shocks, he reveals to our Heroine that he's her Father.  You'll never guess who the Mother is.

In spite of this revelation, she won't heed his advice to stay away from the School.
It all leads to an odd finale where we learn that Abadon is draining kids of their life energy to stay youthful via a machine made by her Husband (which has been messing with our Heroine).  Jones manages to destroy the thing, leading a weird little showdown.

A drained Abadon calls for our Heroine to 'touch her,' while Jones says 'no' and the still-unexplained POV Monster runs through doors until...

In the last Scene, our Heroine gets a ride from a stranger and reveals her name to be Abadon.  So, I guess evil won?
A pretty forgettable Film.  Outside of Jones' parts, the Acting is...not great.  Some of it is alright, while some of it is *really* not good.  It isn't 'the Aunt from Sleepaway Camp' or 'Rod from Birdemic' bad, but it's up there.  I'll give it a bit of a pass given the age of the Actors and their (presumably) relatively small amount of experience.  There's more to pick apart than just the Acting.  For starters, the whole 'killer toilet' thing.  I wonder if that was part of the footage that was supposedly shot for Negatives- that would explain the tonal difference.  The kills in the Film are almost all POV and not that exciting.  They credit 3 people as 'Mummies' here and I'm a bit confused.  There's ONE GUY who is clearly wearing bad old-age make-up, but that's it.  Is a Mummy in this like a Vampire is (in the sense that they are nothing like the normal version)?  I guess a Wolfman is just an overly-hairy guy too.  Dammit- I'm a Lycanthrope now!  The Plot, as noted, is so Suspiria that it just kind of hurts.  Mind you, that Movie is good, inventive and makes a strong use of color.  Here, you get a weird sort of Vaporwave Quality to the Film due to deteriorating (and cheap) Film Stock...

Next time, another 'Black' Film, but this time from Japan.  It sounds like something far different than it is!  Stay tuned...

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