Streaming Standard: Expendables 4 (aka Expend4bles)

As a fan of the original Trilogy (flaws and all), I was interested in a 4th Film...when it was announced in 2014.

When it finally came out in 2023, I skipped it in Theaters.

In 2026, I finally pulled the trigger.

In Expendables 3, we got a mix of the original Cast and a bunch of younger recruits- like Ronda Rousey and (yes, really) Glen Powell- to fill things out.

Even Schwarzenegger was around and we got Harrison Ford as the new government boss.

In Expendables 4, the new Cast is all gone.  Even Wesley Snipes.

Arnie is presumably busy making his Netflix Show and Terry Crews wasn't asked back (he has a theory).

Even Antonio Banderas was replaced by...his Son (?!?) on the team.

Instead, Stallone and *most* of the old Cast are being sent on a mission by their new Boss- Andy Garcia.

A new player- Iko Uwais- has broken into 'Gaddafi's Old Base' and stolen some nuclear detonators.
He died in 2011, but sure- that's still a thing.

They also think that this is the work of a rogue agent named Ocelot (not the MGS one) who is pulling the strings.

Remember Charisma Carpenter in the first 2 Films?
Well, she's essentially been replaced by Megan Fox as Statham's Girlfriend...and also on the team.

Can we get a Comic to explain all of the changes here?  I didn't think so.

The team's mission to stop Jaa goes poorly- I won't SPOIL why- and Statham is kicked off of the team by Garcia.

In the aftermath, the remaining team- alongside Garcia- go to a ship to stop the bad guy and recover the nuke.

Fortunately, Statham meets another former Expendable- Jaa- and they end up helping the others.

Can the group save the day?
Can they ever get the CGI sky around the boat to look convincing?

To find out, stream it now...

Oh jeez, I really wanted to like you, Movie.

As stated, I like the first 3.  Hell, I own them!
They have problems- I don't pretend otherwise.

That said, this one has so many things working against it...

* Previous Cast gone with no explanation
* New Cast gets no buildup

* This random Vietnamese lady (who they say is Chinese) joins up off-screen.
* Stallone does nearly nothing here (he is older than both of my Parents TBF)
* They don't even do the Opening Action Scene right (it's crosscut with Stallone's bits)

* The twists were way too obvious

* The CGI blood is silly.
* The CGI for the night sky around the boat (and for moving vehicle shots) looks TERRIBLE.

Positives include the influx of Thai/Indonesian Action Stars, Statham still being Statham and some fun action at times.

Otherwise, this one should have either been made by 2017 (at the latest) or not at all.

Unless, of course, they could make the Film that people wanted based on the many, MANY Fake AI Trailer Images...

Really Old Man Barney!

A Film that goes from being fun to painful.  The whole thing is a mess and not even an enjoyable one.