5 Years of Tubi Thursday: The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990)

 It's been 5 years of watching random Films for random reasons every Thursday night.

I've seen so much on Tubi in that time, from obscure Slashers to Asylum Films to Classics that I'd somehow missed.

To celebrate 5 years of this, why not pick a famous flop?
This one did so poorly that it has a Book written about how the Film was made!

If you aren't of the right age to know this, prepare to learn all about..

This is the tale of Peter Fallow (Bruce Willis).

He's a drunk Author who is taken on a very long One-Shot take, since this is a Brian DePalma Film.

He starts narrating about how he got famous, since this is actually...

The Story of a Stockbroker- Tom Hanks- who has everything.

He's making lots of money, has a wife and kid (a blink and you miss Kirsten Dunst).

He makes this deal by way of talking to the Ceiling, since this is a Brian DePalma Film.

He's also got a Mistress- Melanie Griffith- which he accidentally reveals when he calls home instead of her number.

He's so smart.  S-M-R-T.

As the Wife starts to hate him (more), he picks up Griffith from the Airport.

She distracts him, so they make a wrong turn and end up in the Bronx.

They narrowly escape two men who try to rob them when Griffith drives away (as Hanks got out to move an obstacle).

While Hanks feels bad, he's convinced not to report the incident.

Due to medical malpractice, one of the men is in a coma from the minor incident.

The DA- F. Murray Abraham- wants to convict a white Defendant to show that justice is equal (pause for laughter in 2026).

As such, he presses the Attorney- Saul Rubinek- to throw the book at Hanks.

Everyone is against Hanks and his fortunes get wose when Griffith flees the country.

When he's arraigned, Hanks and Willis FINALLY meet.

After this, the latter feels bad for the former, as he's just a scapegoat for a relatively minor/defensible action.

He finally becomes proactive in the Story, trying to get evidence about Griffith.

Oh and this Film briefly seems to forget the Court Case as suddenly the Clients want to sue the Hospital for the aforementioned malpractice.

Willis accidentally kills Griffith's Husband (in title only) and she comes back to the U.S.

Through a series of events, he gets a taped confession from Griffith to Hanks, but it can't be used (since it's from a non-consenting 3rd Party).

Hanks has a heart to heart with his Dad- Donald Moffat- and...decides to lie that it is HIS recording.
He plays it in Court and the Judge- Morgan Freeman- throws the case right out.

That's how it works, right?

He gives a big, impassioned speech about being 'Decent People' and we're back to Willis, who wrote a Book about all of this.

META enough?  The End.

A Film about 40 different things...and nothing at all.

I can understand why this Book (written in 1987) was appealing to make into a Film.
Its Author is not a fan and neither were the Critics.

For comparison, DePalma made The Untouchables in 1987 and it won an Oscar for Sean Connery (as well as 3 other nominations).
This Film was nominated for 5 Razzies (or Golden Raspberries), including one for DePalma himself.

Positives- the Acting is quite good across the board in most of the major Roles.  Hanks tries to really play a bad guy with a heart of gold.  Freeman is also great- duh.

The Film has many things you'd expect from a DePalma Film, like long takes (or Oners) and his trademark odd angles (where one person is giant in the foreground OR with split angles of Scenes).

If you want to know why this Film cost $49 million, bear in mind that they had to pay Alan Arkin after he was recast (for Freeman), paid $5 million for Willis to make this more 'marketable' and spent $80,000 getting a 10-second shot of a plane coming in against the sun.

The Film is full of good ideas.  It's also full of bad ideas.  The latter, sadly, outweighs the former.
There's too much going on and it seems to be to disguise the fact that so little of note actually happens.

It attempts to be a grand, biting Satire, but simply can't be taken seriously.  Like many Films, it is an example of so many good people coming together to make something so unimpressive.

It happens.

At least there's not a Poster for this that will be super awkward to look at now, right?

A Film so grand in its excess...and its failures.  It's a Film that is ironically a testament to everything it sought to vilify/skewer.