Bail Bond: From Russia with Love (1963)

 We're off to the races with Bond Films now!

This is From Russia with Love, the first Bond Sequel.  It is actually the 5th Book.
Thankfully, I'm not insane enough to do these Reviews in BOOK Release Order.

(I might do an alternate compilation of it later)

In any event, Bond is back and now he's fully targeted by SPECTRE, who he made an enemy of by killing Dr. No.  This differentiates itself from the Book's Plot, which is actually about SMERSH and connected to Russia.

This is similar to how Marvel made the first Captain America Film about him fighting Hydra, as opposed to, well, you know.

Will this Film give us the final Bond Tropes we need?  Is this really the best one?
To find out, read on...

In a Cold (War) Open, Bond is wandering around a Maze when he's attacked by an enemy agent (played by Robert Shaw).

This turns out to be a double, as this is a SPECTRE training mission.

After the Credits, we learn that Bond is targeted by SPECTRE and its #1- Blofeld.

He's actually played by the same Actor who was Dr. No's Henchman last Film, but we don't see his face and he's dubbed, so whatever.

The plan involves luring Bond to meet with a Russian Agent who wants to break away to the West with their codes and a decoder.

This is a lie, of course...and also he knows it.

In spite of that, he's as sure to go as this Film is to cut all but the most subtle of lesbian subtext from the Book...

Our first Q Scene!

He gives Bond all of his Gadgets (his briefcase, a folding rifle and other gadgets) for the mission and then peaces out.

I've missed you.

Right after that, we get the first Bond and Moneypenny Flirt Scene.

There was a hint last Film, but it is here for us to enjoy in full now.

Bond goes on his mission and meets up with the woman.

This is the last Film to feature Bond's Girlfriend (in his first Scene).

It's a good thing, since...

Throughout the Film, Shaw keeps an eye on Bond, even killing a guy to save him earlier.

This is all about getting Bond to the intel and THEN besting him.

He gets close to him by pretending to be Bond's contact, but ends up being choked out by his own petard...I mean, garotte.

Bond and his lady escape the Orient Express (which literally changed it route in 1962) and danger follows.

He has to take out a chasing helicopter (an homage to how Cary Grant nearly played Bond!) and then a bunch of SPECTRE boats in pursuit.

They go to Venice (conveniently where Blofeld also is) and all seems well...until the Russian Agent takes one last shot.

She tries to shoot Bond and then kill him with his poison-bladed shoe.
In the Book, his possible death is teased.
In the Film, he survives to totally stay with his new girlfriend.

The End.

A really good Bond Film that ups the ante!

This one has a stronger Spy Plot, a great Villain, a great Henchman, a fresh location and great action.
Connery is great here as well, with his presence truly shining here.

The Plot is just complicated enough to work here, without quite getting convoluted.  The real Locales help out.

That said, we get some odd filler, a pointless catfight and a dated gag involving a Bob Hope Movie Poster.
Not everything is solid gold.

Getting past the little things, Shaw and Bond's face-off and the final Action Scenes make it totally worth it.  The fights and explosions- so good!

Dated aspects taken in stride, this one works so good.  Now if only I could explain why Bond chose NOT to shoot this one bad guy (before and after shooting around a dozen folks).

Boop.

Next up, Goldfinger makes his debut.  Will we get the final form of a Classic Bond Film now?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Tales from the Crypt- Bordello of Blood (1996)

 Considering that there are only two of these (not counting the original Tales from the Crypt Film) and they are both on Shudder, I might as well.

Stifle your disdain for Dennis Miller as I check out...

The Film actually begins WITHOUT the Cryptkeeper.

Instead, we see some folks dig up a Tomb and reveal Lilith (presumably the one that people claim is from the Bible) the First Vampire.

The lead guy- Phil Fondacaro- revives her...

She looks like a Zombie Clown here.

...and now we see the Cryptkeeper.  Weird.

He makes a bet with a Mummy (as you do) played by William Sadler (the Lead from the last Film).

In the actual Story, a jerk- Corey Feldman- and his buddy go to a Brothel.

Plot Twist- it is the same Vampire from the first part!

After some time, we learn that he's missing.

The Sister- Erika Eleniak- reluctantly goes to a Detective (Dennis Miller) for help.

He bugs the friends (including the Suit Actor for Raphael in Turtles III!) before he happens to meet the same guy in the same Bar that invited the Brother and pals to the Brothel.

What luck!

At said Brothel, the girls kill the men and Lilith gets first dibs.

She also kills the recruiter, who was apparently being slowly turned into a Vampire...I guess.

End of Plot Thread.

Miller, of course, works the case and discovers the truth eventually.

He...takes it well.

The Plot also involves a Preacher- Chris Sarandon- who is actually in control of Lilith.

Something something killing sinners and all that.

Given the disconnect between the Opening and the Feature, you can see how this Plot Point is a bit confusing, no?

Miller is confronted by Lilith and now knows what he has to do.

Off-screen, he gets a Super Soaker full of Holy Water and gets into action.
Cue 'Ballroom Blitz!'

Can he stop Lilith?
Does Chris Sarandon turn into a Vampire again?

Will we get a good payoff to the bit with the Mummy?

To find out, stream the Film now.

A pretty fun Film, but, for me, it is in spite of Dennis Miller's antics.

Apparently, there was lots of drama making this one, between its Director having to commute from LA to Vancouver between making this and the Show, Dennis Miller being a dick or the whole Schedule being adjusted to make the Host happy.

Yeah, he was still doing his HBO Show at the time.  Mind you, I read about Shaq learning his lines, playing in the NBA AND prepping for the Olympics at the same time, so... 

I just didn't care for him here.  He feels like he's trying to make you laugh, which is not the most organic way to play a Character.  None of it just feels organic.

Thankfully, most of the rest of the Cast tries way harder and is generally more interesting.

The Plot is just kind of a muddy mess, which is explainable.

This is a Spec Script from 'the 2 Bobs' (Bob Gale and Robert Zemeckis) in 1973.  They just hired 2 guys to then make this into a Film in like 3 weeks.

The biggest thing here- timing.  This one got released in August 1996, which is 7 months after From Dusk Til Dawn came out, so...yeah.

I still enjoyed the practical effects and overall tone.  Too bad this bombed and the Series ended here.

Even this bit is a retread of Episode 72.

A Film with many flaws, but it is still kind of fun.  There's just not enough there and it can't match up to another 1996 Vampire Film.

Tubi Thursday: Tomb Raider (2018)

Well, I've seen the knockoff.  
Let me see the original...

Well, the original Film based on like 10 Video Games and that is like 3 Reboots deep.

It's...

In London, Lara Croft is a grizzled(ish) woman is working dead end jobs.

Why is she so upset?

Well, her Father disappeared 7 years ago.

He was a Businessman and now she learns the truth.

He was an Explorer looking for the Tomb of a Japanese Death Goddess...as you do.

In spite of him telling her to burn his notes (to keep it from a group called Trinity), she keeps them and uses them to find the Island that supposedly houses her body.

She's rescued (but also not really) by Walton Goggins, who has been stuck there the whole time trying to find the Tomb himself.

She teams up (albeit relatively briefly) with the Boat Captain who took her there.

They work to free the people forced into slave labor.

Her Arc from Aimless Would-be Badass to actual Badass is nearly complete.

It is also worth noting that adapting a high end game made to run on PCs (even in, say, 2016) means that distinguishing between Game Footage and Film Footage is not as easy as it should be.

Do we need this?

Can Lara go full Rise of the Tomb Raider here?

Can she stop Goggins?

Can she find out the secret of the Death Goddess before it is too late?

To find out, stream it now (although it expires in 13 days at time of writing)

An enjoyable Action Film that is slightly elevated by the talent involved.

Right off the bat, this one is far more engaging than The Asylum's.  That one just didn't hook me.

It is a credit to the Cast- especially Vikander and Goggins- that the Characters are fleshed out and somewhat interesting.  The former really commits to the physicality and how it would effect Lara.

The latter is still mostly just evil, but you can understand his motivations.

It is hard not to compare this one to Uncharted- for obvious reasons.  This one feels a bit more intense and more focused, if we're being honest.

In a way, I'm sad to see this be a one-off.  Some of these people really tried hard.
Alas, we're getting yet another Reboot...but this isn't it.

This is a Chinese Bootleg I'll inevitably review.

A fairly enjoyable Film that works by feeling grounded and intense.  I do wish that they'd taken some more actual risks and less stock elements though.

Bail Bond: Dr. No (1962)

 Bizarro.  Mondo Bizarro.

Dr. No is the first James Bond Film (but not his first appearance).  This is the Film that began a Cinematic Empire that has grossed over $7 billion in Theater Profits (not adjusted for inflation).

How did it start?

Bond is sent to Jamaica to figure out who or what is interfering with American attempts to launch shuttles/ships to win the Space Race with Russia.

Will we get all of the cliches set up in this one or will we have to wait?
I won't leave you shaken or stirred, so let's jump right into...

The quirky Intro with silhouettes, bright colors and good music is seen here.

Interestingly though, they actually feature these three blind guys who walk out of the Intro...

...and into the Film.  That's inventive.

A bunch of rich guys are doing business when one is called away.  They walk past him...and then shoot him, revealing themselves to be enemy agents!

Across the pond from Jamaica, Bond is playing cards before he's called in.

Was this supposed to connect to Casino Royale?

He's assigned to work a case in that lovely Island as an assistant to the US Government.

Their launches are being stopped via radio interference from a source somewhere nearby.

He is impossible to miss as he arrives, a posh Brit (or Scot) in a gray suit.

He fends off an attack on his life IMMEDIATELY by a fake Cab Driver.

Bond is also being tailed by...the guy from Hawaii Five-O?!?

This is a Cold War Spy Film, so know what you are going to get.

Bond puts dust on his briefcase to check for tampering.
He puts a hair on a door.
He fights off random hitmen.

He figures out that the obviously-lying guy is lying and the woman scheming to keep him is up to no good.

He just waits there while the guy shows up and shoots the pillow.
I love that he's just playing cards and chilling.

He's told that nobody can go no near Dr. No's Island...so obviously he's going there.

They get in at night and hide, planning to explore it in the morning.

Of course, something comes up first- mainly the most iconic Bond Girl Intro ever.

They are pursued by No's men, however, and run across his dragon (actually a tank that shoots flames).

They are captured by No's forces and hosed down to get rid of the radioactivity.

We finally see the titular No at around the 80-minute mark (the Film is about 100-minutes long).

He's played by Canadian Joseph Wiseman and he works for SPECTRE, a group of enemies that Bond will fight for the next few Decades.

No tries to recruit Bond, he rejects the offer.

Bond escapes from his cell- possibly inspiring Die Hard as he works through the vents in a tank top- and takes the place of one of No's Scientists.

He makes the reactor overload and fights No, causing him to end up in the pool full of radioactive water from the nuclear pile.

Ouch.

Bond and Honey escape the Island, deciding to stay behind in a boat while having sex.
Classic Bond. 
The End.

A solid start, even if the Film take a while to get going.

You have to know what to expect with this one.  Bond is a Cold War Spy.  He's not going to steal planes, blow up dams or, to name something crazy, outrun a space laser controlled by a North Korean madman in an invisible sports car.

What a silly idea.

This early Bond still punches and shoots men, while making time to seduce men.  A TV Spy would stop the lady who wanted to seduce and then kill him.
Bond sleeps with her and THEN stops her.

Many things are missing here, from Q's Gadgets to 'Shaken, not Stirred.'  They'll be here soon.

The Film also features the technical issues that come with Films of the day, like Rear Projection and some obvious Stunt Doubles.

All that said, Dr. No is an enjoyable, if far less flashy Bond Film that set everything in motion.
Plus, it was obviously filmed in Jamaica.  Need proof?

Red Stripe was created in Illinois?!?

Next up, the second ever Bond Film.  This Films leans hard into spy craft and is often considered the Best Connery Bond Film- no pressure!  Stay tuned...

Fiction vs. Fiction: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II- The Secret of the Ooze

 A Book version of a rushed Sequel?  Radical!

I bought this long ago, before I even got the DVD Set.

It was only 105 pages long (with Pictures and Size 22 font), so why not check it out?

The last FvF was about BB.  This one was written by B.B.

What's the Same?

The Plot doesn't change at all.

This is, after all, the Film Adaptation.  It is not a case where they changed all that much that matters.

That said, there were a few notable tweaks that made this worth double-dipping.

Some tagline, eh?

                                     What's Different?

As I said, the Plot doesn't change.

Instead, we get a big explanation to start with.

In the Book, right before they fight the Robbers in the beginning, Leonardo challenges himself and the other Turtles to not use their weapons during the next fight.  Something about being a Ninja.

In the Film, this is not addressed.  It was literally done to make the Film 'less violent' (again, they never even cut someone, but whatever!).

They also cover up Keno BEFORE they do half of a fight in front of him in the Book.  Nice.

In the Film, the Lab Computer crashes before the Foot Clan shows up.  In the Book, Donatello narrowly avoids AN ARROW shot at his head, which shorts out the Computer.

I must have had some of these...

The 'keep away' fight is also cut down to a single paragraph.  Boo.

In the Book, Michelangelo is caught faking his Backflip Practice, asks where to restart and begins at 1.  In the Film, a simple look from Splinter makes him know to start at 1.

Neither can explain why the Nightclub is right next to the Docks (outside of calling it the 'Dockside Club.'

In a minor tweak, they make the anti-mutagen work by spraying seltzer down the mutants' throats.  In the Film, it is done with fire extinguishers.

In the Film, the Turtles don't address the crowd and the Rapper is Vanilla Ice.  In the Book, they do that and he's just 'the Rap Performer' (saves on licensing fees!).

Both Book and Film fail to explain how one Canister can be used to mutate Tokka and Rahzar AND still have a full canister left to use on Super Shredder.
Oh well!

In the Book, Splinter doesn't get the last line of 'I made another funny!'  Good?

Final Thoughts

This one is, again, not as a big a thing as others where Books where changed (and sometimes the Film itself was also changed) drastically.

This is the Kid/Young Teen Novelization and only has minor tweaks.

The Book gives you the feel of the Story, some slight explanation for things...but also doesn't let you truly enjoy the banter between our Heroes.

As such, the nod ultimately goes to (warts and all)...

The Film.

If you couldn't afford/beg your Parents enough to buy the Film on VHS, this is a good substitute.  It's just not quite as funny to hear about backflipping Ninja Turtles, you know?

Streaming Standard: Wednesday- Season 2 (Part 2)

*Snap Snap*

Might as well talk about this before everyone moves on, as is the short shelf-life of Streaming Hits these days!

After setting up about 16 Subplots in the first 4 Episodes, how do things wrap up in...

New threats.
Old faces.
Fester appearing in 1 Episode and disappearing.

Wednesday is not in a great place as the 2nd half of the Season begins.

Once she recovers, she continues to work the case.

Now there are new angles and she has to work with the Lady from Ab Fab (aka Grandma).

She's not a kooky lady who torments people who ended up at the wrong House.

A familiar Hyde is back on the loose, but he's not alone.

When family gets involved with Monsters, nothing good comes out of it.

Meanwhile, Steve Buscemi- as the new Head of Nevermore Academy- is working his own angle(s).

He's here to fill out the B and C-Plots nicely.

Grandma Addams becomes a key player in the intertwining Plots.

There's a whole thing with Mothers and Daughters not getting along.
It is not the least bit subtle (while also being very effective).

Enid has her own Subplots, what with a romance one (taking the place of Wednesday's love triangle in Season 1) and her Werewolf Heritage coming strongly into play.

Can Billie Piper- who was ironically a Frankenstein creation on Penny Dreadful- help her?

Can she help herself?

This is far too soon for SPOILERS (plus what is TikTok for?), so to find out what happens, Stream the Show now.

A strong conclusion to the Season, quirks, twists and all.

The best thing about the Show is that there is plenty going on.

If you're not interested in Wednesday's main Plot, there's Enid's, the Dean's and others.

The trade-off, however, is that it also means that you may have to take notes to keep track of things, especially if you don't binge it.

I'm that guy- the one who spaces out these Shows to enjoy them in chunks.  Sorry?

If you watch the Episodes with, for instance, a two-day separation, it might take a moment to recap yourself.  The Show does help, to be fair.

A big thing here is that ever-present balance of Wednesday being a smart planner who isn't usually caught off guard with her also being vulnerable.
Ortega really pulls this off with subtle surprise and dismay.

Other than my general concern that people will eventually associate The Addams Family with Tim Burton and not Bary Sonnefeld, I highly recommend the Show- now complete.

As always, there's more of these...

Don't ask why Wednesday and Enid are meeting Groot.

A Show that manages to be creepy, kooky and just really damn good.  Now the long wait until Season 3 begins.