We think about these Remakes as being a really recent thing, but yet this one came out nearly 20 years ago.
Sorry for making you feel old just now.
In 2005, the 1980 Film by John Carpenter was remade. Why?
Best guess- Pirates of the Caribbean made lots of money and this Film is *sort of* about them.
Interestingly, the Film really leans into the fact that it is 'From the Makers of Halloween.' To be clear, that's a lie for a couple of reasons.
1) John Carpenter said he only visited the Set once and 'wished them luck.'
2) Debra Hill died from Cancer before the Film actually began production.
It is the return of Tom Welling to Mondo Bizarro too. Is this the Film that made him a big, breakout Movie Star?
To find out, read on...
The Film begins in the Past with someone rowing away from a burning boat.
I'm sure they're fine. I mean, the water will put out the fire...right?
In the Present, the nearby Town is celebrating the Anniversary of its founding.
I hope that they have a bonfire.
To be fair, their Mayor is Windom Earle, so that's on brand.
Local Boat Captain- Welling- is out with some customers and his anchor disrupts one of the items dropped in the boat fire incident.
That apparently sets the Plot in motion.
Damn you, Anchor!!!!
His former girlfriend is back after 6 months (they shot this in Canada, so his absent girlfriend can't be there).
He wants to be serious with her in their relationship.
She continues to have weird dreams.
I'm watching the 'Unrated Version.' That means that it is a whopping THREE MINUTES LONGER.
I'm sure they spent this on all of the Scenes of her having visions, acting confused and using Google.
Yes, they use actual Google and not 'WordSearch' or 'Spoogle.'
In the B-Plot, the local DJ- Selma Blair- is trying to raise her kid as a Single Mom.
This seems necessary.
She's also got the guy at the Lighthouse always making moves on her via Skype.
I'm sure his 2005 Internet Connection in a small, Oregon Town is great.
After far too much build-up, the titular Fog finally encompasses the Town.
After killing a few folks the day before, it gets to work.
It kills the Lighthouse Guy with fire...as Ghosts do.
They cause mild, mostly PG-13 mayhem in Town during the Third Act.
It's all about killing the descendants of the Founders who burned down a ship in the Intro Scene.
Ghosts always do this and it never seems fair.
If my Great Grandfather punched a baby, does that mean that a Ghost should kill me?
There's no stopping the Ghosts...until there is.
The Lead one thinks that our Female Lead is the spitting image of his love.
She somehow agrees to kiss him and... turns into a Ghost to go back to the Ocean with him.
Um...huh? The End.
Look- I know it has been a while. That said, I was working in Theaters when this come out in October 2005.
I have ZERO memory of this Film.
I remember Films like Hostel, King Kong and even Supercross (mostly the empty Theaters TBF)...but not this.
I watched this Film last week and I'm struggling to remember key details already. I remember lots of build-up, lots of searching for information about old Ships and Ghosts occasionally doing vague, evil stuff.
To mix things up, I watched this first and not the Original.
If this is different, I don't know yet.
If this is better, well, I doubt it.
We'll find out after the next Anniversary post.
As for me, well, let me celebrate this rarity- a Film that features a pointless beefcake shot and not female nudity.
Next up, the original Film by Carpenter and company. How I've gone this whole time without seeing it is anyone's guess. See you then...
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