Remake This: The Omen (2006)

 At long last, I wrap up the Series properly.  Back in 2006, I saw this come out and flippantly said to myself 'I don't need to see 'The Omen,' I've already seen 'The Omen.''

In 2023, I kind of stand by it.  Good on you, younger me!  

The 2006 Remake of The Omen is notable for its release date- June 6th, 2006...or 6/6/6.  Cute.
The problem- this day came on a Wednesday, so maybe not the best pick in hindsight.

What is different in this one?  Not much.
What is better or worse in this one?

To find out, read on...

A man discovers a cluster of stars in the sky and runs off.  Thrills from the get-go!

We then cut to *oh boy* a Slide Show Presentation for the Pope (and his Men) talking about how vague lines from The Bible relate to real life events.

So... any given Tuesday?

The Deputy Ambassador is told that his Wife's newborn child didn't survive and that the conditions are such that she can't get pregnant again.

Not at all suspiciously, they immediately offer him an unclaimed newborn (they say that the Mother died) to adopt in the kid's place.

Red Flag, bro.

Time passes and he's now the Ambassador, after the previous one died in typical Rube Goldberg Death Trap Fashion.  

The kid grows up and the Wife has no idea that it is not her kid.

This Priest- Pete Postlewaite- warns him, but he ignores yet another Red Flag.
He was in Dragonheart- you can trust him!

At his Birthday Party, the Head Maid/Matron sees a dog and then publicly kills herself...as you do (don't do it- in case you don't grasp the sarcasm).

She cries it that it is 'All For You, Damien,' which really ruins any song called 'All For You' to me.

The new one shows up- with a lack of background- and it is Mia Farrow...with the Dog.

In the original Omen, the Mom and Damien go to one of those 'Drive Through Zoos' where the Animals move around you.  The monkeys attack the car and they drive away.

In this Remake, Mom and Damien are at the Zoo when the Monkeys (behind bars and plexiglass) freak out and try to get to Damien.

The Scene abruptly ends as we see a Gorilla trying to smash through the plexiglass wall to get to them...

Wait- what?!?

The Priest tries once again to talk to Thorn.  He's about 20% more receptive after the freaky events going on his life - like Damien freaking out when they drive near a Church- but still rejects his message.

Moments later, the Priest goes to a Church and...gets impaled by a metal rod that falls off.

Lots more drama at home, from the Matron doing things on her own to his Wife freaking out when she gets pregnant.

He STILL doesn't tell her the truth, but Damien and company take care of the future heir (who would challenge him for his power) when they knock 'Mom' off the third floor.

Why she was leaning over the railing on a tiny step stool to water plants- instead of just unhooking them and then doing it- is anyone's guess.

Thorn and the Photographer work together, which means leaving his temporarily crippled Wife alone with the obviously evil Matron and Damien.

Good plan.

They meet a series of people- from a regular Priest to a burned one- and finally meet Michael Gambon (RIP).  He gives them the famous Daggers, but Thorn is still resistant.

The Photographer goes to retrieve them and a metal sign swings down to chop his head off!

While he's gone, his Wife is killed (by medically inaccurate methods) and he is finally convinced to look for the mark on his 'son.'

He sees it- the 666.

He runs down Farrow (a bit they scrapped in the original) and tries to kill Damien in a Church, but...you know how this goes.

Oh, and the 'Hellish Alternate Ending' promised on the slip case just has him SHOWN being shot, rather than cutting away.  The End.

A pretty nothing Remake.  It is just too damn similar.  

That's the tricky thing, isn't it? 
 

Do you change lots of things to make a new Film...but risk making it not a Remake? 
Do you change nothing and just be a 'pointless Remake?'

In this case, they barely change a thing and just rely upon a new Audience seeing the Film.  It isn't done poorly.  The changes don't necessarily ruin the Story.

That said, the changes do pretty much nothing to improve the Story.  Changing the famous Decapitation Scene to involving a metal sign vs a pane of glass- meh.

The biggest thing is that the Film is so iconic that just Remaking it with slight CGI additions, new Actors and Color Correction isn't enough.  

The TV Show from 10 years later- for all its faults- improved upon its original adaptation.
This is just the same Story again.  It has plenty of good Actors in it, which makes the end result kind of a shame.  

At least original Damien and his 'Mom' got work again...although he looks far better IMHO.

Yes, that is the original Damien.

*****

Yes, his Mom in this is *literally* a Jackal.  Sigh.

Next up, let me revisit the black sheep of the Franchise- which is saying alot.  I had to get a Library Card to revisit this, so enjoy.