If he's the Law, can I get some anarchy, please?
This is Judge Dredd, specifically the 1995 Film version. I'm not a huge fan/follower of Judge Dredd. I know how much this Film annoyed people though.
The Plot involves Dredd trying to maintain order in Mega City. However, a hidden evil is released and he's targeted. Can he save the day alongside a terrible Comedian?
Director Danny Cannon has had an interesting Career, directing Episodes for a number of Shows like Gotham, Shameless and CSI (often the Pilots). In Film, he'd go on to make I Know What You Did Last Summer and Geostorm.
The Writing was done by William Wisher Jr (who co-wrote Films like T2 and The 13th Warrior) and Steven E. de Souza (who wrote/co-wrote Films like The Running Man, Die Hard and 48 Hours).
With so much talent, how did things go so wrong?
The Film begins with a long text crawl. Joy.
At least it was narrated by James Earl Jones (RIP).
Basically, the World was mostly wrecked and people live in a series of Megalopolis'. The compressed nature of this made crime go up, so Judges enact the law- usually at the end of a gun!
Is this too much to throw at people in the first few minutes? Yes.
Anyhow, our Viewpoint Character is *#%^ me.... Rob Schneider.
We do see a quick glimpse at the Income Equality, but that's just in passing and never mentioned again.
Dredd- Stallone- is a famous Judge who is both a real know-it-all and a strict enforcer of the Law (LAAAAWWWW).
He doesn't care why you did something- he's going to send you to Jail...or just straight up kill you.
Deep in the building, a guy in power visits Hannibal Lecter...I mean, someone different.
He's a former Judge with a deep connection to our Hero.
He escapes, of course.
He steals some Judge gear and a gun and kills a Reporter (the bad guy from
Halloween 6 and the stuffy Dad from
Dharma & Greg).
He does so right in front of the guy's home security camera (accidentally prescient, Movie) and the guy helpfully yells out 'Dredd!' before he's shot.
A young Judge- Diane Lane?!?- defends him, but the case falls apart because the gun is literally coded to Dredd's DNA.
How did Armand Assante have it?!?
Dredd is sent to Prison and is put in the seat next to *sigh* Rob Schneider.
He sent him to jail what seems like days ago, so how are they both here at the same time?
Regardless, their ship is shot down and they kidnapped by cyborg cannibals led by Scott Wilson?!?
They escape and make it back to the City.
They get in through a vent that shoots flames every 30 seconds- why not?- and helpfully switches the angle of the flames.
You see, they are running towards it...and then it comes to them from behind...somehow.
In the City, Lane and a buddy realize that a picture of Dredd's family is fake and he's *dun dun dun* a Clone.
The Janus Project birthed him and Assante based on DNA from the Lead Judge (Max Von Sydow). The latter is evil now.
Back in the City, our Heroes flee in just the most dated looking Hoverbike Chase.
Rob won't STFU the whole time, so, as punishment, I'm using this Screen Cap of him.
It all ends in a chaotic Finale.
Stallone vs. Assante! Lane vs the barely used Joan Chen! Rob Schneider vs. Comedy!
In the End, the Heroes win...but they are still down by about 60% of the Judges, so.... let's pose instead!
This Film is both a case of way too much Plot and also way too little.
The World requires simply too much building here and needs to be done by someone better. The Writers have some great Resumes, but this isn't good.
So much dropping of information that people know to people that know it just for the Audience to be informed.
Why not have Dredd lecture some Students? Given that the Plot involves Cloning, why not have the info uploaded to one?
This is a small positive I will say- this Plot (at its core) could work.
The catch- it needs to be the 2nd Film.
Make a Film where we soft-establish things, we see Dredd in action with a simple villain with less personal motivations. Let us see Dredd as he is and THEN bring in the personal villain and the 'everything you know is wrong' backstory.
When we learn it here, we barely know or care about him.
Positives- some genuinely neat Practical Effects (especially the Robot). Good stuff hidden here.
On the infinitesimal chance that a Studio Head (or their Reader) sees this, make a Plot like this (with a Judge Death) as a Sequel to Dredd- you know, the Film that you already made and was great.
Otherwise, people will only know the Story from a Film with shots like this....
A final Stallone Film to cover. This time, he WAS the Law and now he's back. Yo quiero tres conchas de mar!
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